Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 04:51 PM Thread Starter
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Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

We all have seen the equality wars on television. The most prominent recently, has been on the topic of same sex-marriages. These types of marriages are legally gaining ground by leaps and bounds. Having said that, we'll be seeing more and more same sex couples marry which like a lot of other human beings, will seek support and advice from other successfully long term married couples.

I've seen married couples who practice "open-marriages" get hammered with insults here instead of finding sound advice they seek. Although this is still not a widely accepted form of marriage to most members, that opens my curiosity as to whether "same sex" marriages will be accepted here in TAM to ask for marriage advice or will the couples meet the same fate?

What do members think? Will you as a married man, give marriage advice to couples consisting of two men?

Will the women give marital advice to a couple consisting of two women?

Same-sex marriage partners will come here for divorce advice as well. I'm curious as to how members will recieve them.

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post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 04:54 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

Maybe there should be a separate section for same-sex couples.
I know I would not be able to give reasonable advice, not through bias but just because I can't relate to the problem. Sex is a big part of marriage, and same-sex relationships are too different for me to relate to in that department.

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:00 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

I know of a few regulars on here that are in open relationships and don't get hammered for it. I think most of the hammering you're seeing is in situations where people are trying to fix a broken relationship by opening it up, which is not the soundest plan.

Same sex marriages have the same kinds of issues as the rest, and they're not just sexual issues. I don't see any issue with it.

Besides, they might just have some relevant advice for the heteros.

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post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

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Originally Posted by technovelist View Post
Maybe there should be a separate section for same-sex couples.
I know I would not be able to give reasonable advice, not through bias but just because I can't relate to the problem. Sex is a big part of marriage, and same-sex relationships are too different for me to relate to in that department.
Yea, I think I would be at a loss for words on most topics.
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post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:14 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

I personally already did, and last time she posted, she was doing better. I am straight myself, and personally do not need to understand what being a homosexual feels like to give advice. It was really no different than when I gave advice to hetero couples.

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post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:20 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

Meh, I answered a sex question two years ago posted by a lesbian who had a GF who didn't want to go down on her. Reluctance to perform a sex act doesn't really chance if the nature of the relationship is hetero or homo.

Relationship dynamics don't change and become something completely different because the two participants are homosexual.

Men are men and women are women no matter who they fall in love with.

So to answer the OP, yes. If I'm here when the gays invade I'll make sure they feel welcome.

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post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:25 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

Good evening
I am happy to give advice to same sex, open marriage, or in fact anyone who will listen (or can't escape). I always try to give the best advice I can, but as a monogamous heterosexual male, it may be that my advice is not particularly valuable for same-sex couples, or those in open relationships. OTOH sometimes seeing something from a different perspective is useful.

For my problems, I am happy to read advice from people in very different circumstances.

Also hearing about other situations may be valuable. I would be interested in hearing for example from a HD/LD lesbian couple. It might provide insight into the HD/LD situation by separating out the gender differences. Similarly are there same sex couples where one is willing to do oral and the other isn't?

From my point of view, people in same sex or other non-traditional marriages are very welcome here.
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post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:28 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

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Originally Posted by Anon Pink View Post
Meh, I answered a sex question two years ago posted by a lesbian who had a GF who didn't want to go down on her. Reluctance to perform a sex act doesn't really chance if the nature of the relationship is hetero or homo.

Relationship dynamics don't change and become something completely different because the two participants are homosexual.

Men are men and women are women no matter who they fall in love with.

So to answer the OP, yes. If I'm here when the gays invade I'll make sure they feel welcome.
I'll disagree SLIGHTLY with you. Relationship dynamics can definitely change when you're talking about two guys or two women, just based on the fact that men and women just think differently in so many ways. Gay guys are still guys and think like guys, so you'd have to take that into account when offering advice.

It doesn't mean it's some unknowable Rubiks Cube that needs it's own forum, but I can see those dynamics coming into play sometimes.

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post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

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I know of a few regulars on here that are in open relationships and don't get hammered for it. I think most of the hammering you're seeing is in situations where people are trying to fix a broken relationship by opening it up, which is not the soundest plan.

Same sex marriages have the same kinds of issues as the rest, and they're not just sexual issues. I don't see any issue with it.

Besides, they might just have some relevant advice for the heteros.
You gave a good example, it would be a good topic as well. Opening up a struggling marriage to others would be good advice if it helps, but it is then considered a bad plan if it does'nt help.

Some married couples are looking to go beyond imposed limits. Society and culture are based on limits - this kind of behavior is acceptable, that kind of behavior is not. The limits change with time, as we see now with the legal approach of more same sex marriages. The alternative of society and culture without limits is anarchy and lawlessness. The moment any limit is imposed, a part of us wants to go beyond that limit, to explore the forbidden. I believe couples who practice "open marriages" have come to that limit and consented to explore the "societal" and "culturally" forbidden and are seen as outcasts for doing so. That results in getting less help in TAM.

Now, society and culture has placed limits on same sex marriages as well. I wonder where those couples can go to seek advice if member advice would be scarce here at TAM.

Last edited by Apexmale; 10-12-2015 at 05:52 PM.
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post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 05:31 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

Reddit.


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post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 06:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

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Reddit.
I went to Reddit for Rubik's Cube advice.... it didn't go well.
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post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 07:20 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

I tend to view pre-marital committed relationships, marital relationships and same sex relationships as the same from an emotional standpoint. I believe a large part of the advice here is universal.

Advice I gave to a Lesbian coworker, from MB, saved her relationship, and I also discouraged her from having sex with someone other than her partner.

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post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 07:27 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

I'm not gay but I think this site should have a forum for same sex relationships. I'm surprised it's not here yet, actually.
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post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 07:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

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I'm not gay but I think this site should have a forum for same sex relationships. I'm surprised it's not here yet, actually.
Maybe even a forum for those in open marriages. We are going to see more of both in the coming yeears.
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post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-12-2015, 07:43 PM
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Re: Are same-sex marriage couples welcomed here?

Too alien for me to advise so I'll just steer clear.
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