08-12-2011, 05:29 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Omaha, NE
| | Military Marriage
My husband and I are both in the military. We married quickly, young, and I don't want to be another divorce statistic.
The good parts are we rarely argue- we get along great, have a solid base in friendship, have a similar outlook about life, careers, and raising our beautiful 3 year old daughter.
The hard parts are that the marriage was only supposed to be one year, a contract marriage- for reasons that were very important at the time. We've been together almost five years now. I have never been "in love" with my husband. I do not really miss him when one of us or the other is deployed, I still live my life the same. He is very emotional and misses me, and I find it hard to talk to him while I am away.
I am not an emotional person, and hate lying so I am very direct about my feelings on the matter. I can only offer what I truly have, which is that we are great friends, and I feel that is more than some marriages have going for them. We get along great. Financially, we are very responsible and set. We both are involved in plenty of activities, and there are no trust issues to be had. We have managed to sidestep most of the major issues in marriage.
Is there anyone else in a similar position? Is it possible to make a marriage without love work? Would it be better for me to lie? Does anyone else have a marriage that love fades from, and exists based on friendship?
I do not want to sound heartless, I'm not. I've been in love twice in my life- neither with my husband. But I respect him, we have a deep friendship, and he is the father of my child. That is enough for me, but does it make me unfair to him? Any advice on how to help soften my heart towards him? Thank you.