What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-01-2016, 04:43 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?




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post #17 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-01-2016, 07:47 AM Thread Starter
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No matter the category, she has certain likes that are consistent with both types: great sense of humor, stimulating conversation, genuine in interactions, loves & laughs, appreciates the good things, makes a good living/stable, physically endowed, tall, giving in bed, confident, can dance, good parent/husband, has hair.

Her universal dislikes are: selfishness, liars, cheaters (how ironic), self-grandiose behavior, beards, short, very overweight, bald, does not make good living, drugs, kid/ex/family drama, unstable, smokes, not well-endowed, body hair.

I suppose that I will always remain vigilant about any close associations that she may have with the artistic types, although her previous APs were from both camps. That was more than 10 yrs ago. So far so good.


Does your wife contribute:

A *great* sense of humor

Makes a good living

Physically well-endowed (tight vagina would be the female equivalent)

Tall

Is generous in bed

Plenty of hair (not short, not thinning)

Unselfish (two affairs?? I doubt it)

Tells the truth (see above)

Thin and fit (not "skinny fat")

Removes all body hair routinely


Because, by your list --- she asks a lot. If she contributes close to what she asks; then okay... Otherwise, why would you comply with such a list.

If you're also real demanding of her; then I guess it evens out.

Sorry you have to keep an eye on her when she's around the "artistic" types. You shouldn't have to do that.
She has a good sense of humor, is honest in word and deed, and has long, luxurious Auburn hair. So I guess her list is shorter than mine.
My type would be the tall, powerful executive blond with curves, who knows what she wants both in boardroom, and the bedroom.
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post #18 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-02-2016, 11:17 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

I don't know that my wife has a "type" per se. She is introverted and more into computers. I am more of an extrovert and like to be outside or playing guitar, or just doing SOMETHING. I know she had a crush on "Q" in Star Trek TNG, and I think she found Mulder from the X-Files to be attractive. Other than that, she never has really said much about it.

What I do know is that our differences bring us closer together. I think if we were too similar we wouldn't work nearly as well as a couple and as parents. There are areas where we overlap our interests and we enjoy sharing those interests. There are a few areas that I wish my wife were more similar in, but overall we just work well together.

So, am I her type? No idea. But after 22 years together, maybe it doesn't really matter?

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post #19 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-02-2016, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by intheory View Post
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Originally Posted by MAJDEATH View Post

No matter the category, she has certain likes that are consistent with both types: great sense of humor, stimulating conversation, genuine in interactions, loves & laughs, appreciates the good things, makes a good living/stable, physically endowed, tall, giving in bed, confident, can dance, good parent/husband, has hair.

Her universal dislikes are: selfishness, liars, cheaters (how ironic), self-grandiose behavior, beards, short, very overweight, bald, does not make good living, drugs, kid/ex/family drama, unstable, smokes, not well-endowed, body hair.

I suppose that I will always remain vigilant about any close associations that she may have with the artistic types, although her previous APs were from both camps. That was more than 10 yrs ago. So far so good.


Does your wife contribute:

A *great* sense of humor

Makes a good living

Physically well-endowed (tight vagina would be the female equivalent)

Tall

Is generous in bed

Plenty of hair (not short, not thinning)

Unselfish (two affairs?? I doubt it)

Tells the truth (see above)

Thin and fit (not "skinny fat")

Removes all body hair routinely


Because, by your list --- she asks a lot. If she contributes close to what she asks; then okay... Otherwise, why would you comply with such a list.

If you're also real demanding of her; then I guess it evens out.

Sorry you have to keep an eye on her when she's around the "artistic" types. You shouldn't have to do that.
She has a good sense of humor, is honest in word and deed, and has long, luxurious Auburn hair. So I guess her list is shorter than mine.
My type would be the tall, powerful executive blond with curves, who knows what she wants both in boardroom, and the bedroom.
We used to be big fans of the TV show "X-files", because my wife really liked David Duchovny, who I look like (tall, dark hair, government, suit & tie) and I really liked Gillian Anderson, whom she looks like (short, great hair, cute but in a plain-Jane sort of way).
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post #20 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-03-2016, 07:06 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

Speaking of TV, actors & such.. growing up...and really even today.. looks wise.. what really lights the fire (can I say fantasy).. is a long haired ROCK MUSICIAN look... a video like this is almost porn-ish to me >> Skid Row - I Remember You ....(Yeah this is the 80's & I'm getting old!)

Every guy in that...........

Now look at them.. talk about the BAD BOY LOOK...(and this could go for numerous groups today even that I enjoy)... but here is the interesting thing.. I was the most conservative "good girl" around.. went to church.. wanted to wait till I was married to go all the way, didn't drink, didn't smoke.... yet.. I was wildly attracted to THIS >>>



But still I CAN'T SAY THIS IS MY TYPE...it's just a fantasy...

In real life.. given what I wanted, DEEPLY WANTED... I was smart enough to separate these things... I had to be realistic.. the lifestyle of these sorts of men....My lord ...is everything upside down & damning, reckless, careless, druggy, philandering over what I wanted for my life & future...

I wanted a family man, non -drinker, I even told him when we met.. "it's the cigs or me" ... I wanted "stability", children & Romance...

So you can't always get what you want...at least not in every "fantasy" sense.

I met a Hot guy like this on the beach when I was 15...he wanted to take me back to his place.. I was tempted to sneak away, but someone interfered.. (a blessing I am sure!)..

I think what arouses our lust isn't always what's best for us.. we have to consider the whole package.. obviously..

I read where the LUST centers of our brain are different than the LOVE centers... different things light up on brain scans.. some explaining here >>

Brains Do It: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment

I guess this could be compared to the Preacher who seeks a conservative piano playing wife but secretly wants her to be his sl** in bed...

Even my husband had a thing for Lita Ford.. he liked that rough look, a WILD WOMAN... but yet he greatly respected the innocent girl I was... It's like there is a conflict in our brains on some of these things... very interesting subject though.

So what I sought after was... the sweetest guy I could find.. then try to make him look a little rugged ...UP some of the Bad Boy Look...
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post #21 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-03-2016, 07:29 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

I was always attracted to the wholesome, good looking but not model quality type woman. Early on it was Jacklin Smith (Charlies Angels). Later, it was Laura Dern (Jurassic Park), Gillian Anderson, and Helen Hunt. My wife exudes many of those qualities. I do wish she were a little more sexual or had a higher sex drive, but I survive.

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #22 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-03-2016, 10:26 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

From what I can tell (from the written word she partakes of) she likes Navy Seals, Cowboys and Christian Grey ....and Karl Malone. I ain't even close.
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post #23 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-13-2016, 11:45 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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From what I can tell (from the written word she partakes of) she likes Navy Seals, Cowboys and Christian Grey ....and Karl Malone. I ain't even close.
There has to be some qualities you possess.
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The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married - John Fischer
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post #24 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-13-2016, 03:17 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

The only men on TV / movie that my wife claims shes find attractive look sort of like me. True or not, its nice that she wants to make me feel wanted.
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post #25 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 06:32 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

You know how people sort of pick a celebrity and say "Wow that person is my type?" Well my Dear Hubby has always like Janice Joplin, because she's not a twig, she has long flowing hair and a feminine hippie look, and she loved her music.



I am the living embodiment of Rosie Cotton. I'm short, I'm built with all kinds of curves, I have curling hair to my beltline, and I love long, flowing, gauze skirt and peasant tops. I will never, EVER be a willowy ballet dancer type, but physically I am his thing.



He also always wants a peaceful, mellow, happy, funny, smart, pleasant woman who was friendly and just easy to be with. That is again, 100% me. We have so many things in common, we often tease each other that we married ourselves! Or...he's me as a male and I'm him as a female!

For me, even though I just 5ft. tall, I've always liked guys who are 6ft or more. Envision a Viking or a football player with a big, barrel chest and a manly beard and some sexy chest hair... and you've got me all hot and bothered! And that is him 100%!!



He's got those melty blue eyes (I have brown and he thinks they are warm and earthy), and he wears his hair long and braided in back. So....envision Jerry Garcia as a biker and you'd be pretty close! I get crazy turned on by the 'big strong man' coming to sweep the little hobbit lass off her feet--so we are both incredibly each others' types.

In addition, I always wanted the same kind of thing he wanted: a peaceful, mellow, happy, funny, smart, pleasant man who was easy to be with. I like the Big Lebowski because DUDE--he is so easy to just hang with! Sure some weird stuff happens, but oh well--that's life! My huge "requirements" if you will are that he be a Christian man (share my faith), that he be as smart as or smarter than me (he's smarter), and that he have absolutely no anger issues or abusiveness.

He's DEFINITELY the man for me!!!!


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post #26 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 01:48 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

When my husband, i first met. I was attracted to him and most of the quality are similar.
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post #27 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 03:25 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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What qualities or attributes does your Spouse look for in a partner? Do you possess all or any of those qualities? Can be everything from personal appearance (body, face, hairstyle, endowment, clothing), profession, social group, personality, how they treat others, family issues, etc.
Initially, my partner used to say "I don't know". The later when asked "When am I doing something that makes you feel most loved by me?" answered: "spending time with the children".

Re-examining the courting and relationship:
The club we meet at, I was already quite well skilled, enough that the club Alpha noticed me and would occasionally discuss matters with me. Originally she was part of the inner circle, and helped with many of the support things for the Alpha, and was asked to keep an eye on me when I joined the group (trust/danger/reputation etc). After 6 months she started avoiding me, and I caught up in my time to see what she was doing (which turned out to be another minor past interest of mine: they were doing some casual horse riding for a friend to exercise their horses, and I used to joust) so I made a point of just hanging out, as much to learn and work with the couple of horses as anything.

So lots of perseverance, and I thought originally that it was because of shared interests (experiences) and that we had a good time together.
Turns out it was : I had a paying job and company car (thus I enabled the sport group to grow and travel easily), and I was a proxy for the Alpha (who already had an [ill] partner).

But she's Cancer (with Aries moon) so I should have known better than to get a straight/honest answer out of her.
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post #28 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 05:03 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

Tall, thin and blonde.

I am dark short and not thin.

But my hair -what is left!- is now going white.
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post #29 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 05:05 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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Originally Posted by Affaircare View Post
You know how people sort of pick a celebrity and say "Wow that person is my type?" Well my Dear Hubby has always like Janice Joplin, because she's not a twig, she has long flowing hair and a feminine hippie look, and she loved her music.



I am the living embodiment of Rosie Cotton. I'm short, I'm built with all kinds of curves, I have curling hair to my beltline, and I love long, flowing, gauze skirt and peasant tops. I will never, EVER be a willowy ballet dancer type, but physically I am his thing.



He also always wants a peaceful, mellow, happy, funny, smart, pleasant woman who was friendly and just easy to be with. That is again, 100% me. We have so many things in common, we often tease each other that we married ourselves! Or...he's me as a male and I'm him as a female!

For me, even though I just 5ft. tall, I've always liked guys who are 6ft or more. Envision a Viking or a football player with a big, barrel chest and a manly beard and some sexy chest hair... and you've got me all hot and bothered! And that is him 100%!!



He's got those melty blue eyes (I have brown and he thinks they are warm and earthy), and he wears his hair long and braided in back. So....envision Jerry Garcia as a biker and you'd be pretty close! I get crazy turned on by the 'big strong man' coming to sweep the little hobbit lass off her feet--so we are both incredibly each others' types.

In addition, I always wanted the same kind of thing he wanted: a peaceful, mellow, happy, funny, smart, pleasant man who was easy to be with. I like the Big Lebowski because DUDE--he is so easy to just hang with! Sure some weird stuff happens, but oh well--that's life! My huge "requirements" if you will are that he be a Christian man (share my faith), that he be as smart as or smarter thadn me (he's smarter), and that he have absolutely no anger issues or abusiveness.

He's DEFINITELY the man for me!!!!
You are just too darn cute for words!!
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post #30 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 06:56 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

Interesting. My wife isn't very direct in her communication of this sort of thing, but over the years I've picked up what I think are her wants

Physically i think she likes

Tall - tick
Dark hair - I'm reddish brown
Athletic but not skinny - i used to fit this to a tee but am going a bit dad bod

As a person
Clever - tick although a yearof sleep deprivation takes its toll.
Positive (she has depressive traits) - tick
Puts the relationship above all else - have got a lot better in this regard but not easy

She is physically my type (short brunette with slim but curvy body) and she is also has this kind of aloofness/quiet confidence that I've always been attracted to as I am easily led and a bit of a showoff.

The aspects of her that I find diffficult are her depressive streak and her sometimes poor communication skills (storming off, silent treatment). I mean its cute when she comes up a day after your first fight and apologises, but when for the 458th time you've not been able to resolve an argument until hours or days later it wears thin.


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