What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-22-2016, 04:07 PM Thread Starter
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What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

What qualities or attributes does your Spouse look for in a partner? Do you possess all or any of those qualities? Can be everything from personal appearance (body, face, hairstyle, endowment, clothing), profession, social group, personality, how they treat others, family issues, etc.

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post #2 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-22-2016, 04:15 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

She was in love with Clint Eastwood and she thinks I am like him. Might have helped me.
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post #3 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 03:46 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

In terms of physical appearance, I am his 'type'. Although before knowing how one another looked, we were initially attracted by voice/accent and personality. There are elements of my personality that would be his 'type'. There are also elements that frustrate and test his patience!

Clothing choices and profession don't tend to factor into a type for him. Rather than those kinds of details, what he finds attractive is conviction; to embrace who I am, which includes getting right with myself, the inner conflicts and all that jazz. Trying different things if that's what I'm about and walking my own path (while including him). Basically by knowing and asserting my place on this big ball of dirt, I'm his type. And he accepts that cooking just isn't my bag.

Other factors you mentioned comes down to compatibility. We share similar outlooks on many things. How we treat others, friends, social groups, humor - personality wise, we're a good fit. Enough to be harmonious, different enough to not be boring. We both have family issues. Who doesn't these days?

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post #4 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 04:31 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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Physical appearance, or "Go ahead, make my day". Or both? :-)
Both but I'm shorter than him and have dimples.
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post #5 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 05:07 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

MY H and I are total opposites, different cultures, different religion, different race, etc. However, it was wam bam when we first met. We couldn't get enough of each other in terms of everything!
Character wise we both have strong personalities but opposite. He is the big picture man, gregarious, extremely sociable, likes sports (though I do to). I am the detail person, helpfully pleasant but more reserved, studious.

It's a miracle we lasted this long as we don't really have the same interests per se but we do like to spend time together and get along well in general until something contentious comes up. Fights used to be like mega volcanoes but have learned with age to let things go and not hold resentments. Contentious times are reducing because kids are not here and I work full time now, he's travelling quite a bit for work, I work some weekends, so seeing each other much less. Do not know if this is good or bad.
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post #6 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 06:35 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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MAJDEATH said: What qualities or attributes does your Spouse look for in a partner? Do you possess all or any of those qualities? Can be everything from personal appearance (body, face, hairstyle, endowment, clothing), profession, social group, personality, how they treat others, family issues, etc.
Looks /body type..... When we 1st met.. I can't say I was swooning.... he had these big glasses.. but he was so nice...so easy to talk to.....when he asked me to go with him within a week... (he's always spoke as it was love at 1st sight)... I undressed him in my mind.. and said to myself.. "without those glasses.. he's pretty cute!"....he was thin & I have a thing for lanky guys.... he had my body type !

I remember thinking.. I can spruce him up.. get him some boots, some levis & some long hair.... he'd be pretty ....

Had him grow longer hair for our Wedding day & I insisted on contacts...I remember thinking "da** you are looking fine !@#$"....

He's always commented on my hair.. I can wake up like this >> ... he loves the untamed look of wild hair on a woman..

Myself & husband have opposing temperaments ...he's the introvert, would sit close to the exit sign... I am more the social butterfly... (though I am introverted too)... where he is passive, I am assertive.. where I lack patience.. he has IT ...very laid back.. stable.. I can be feisty !.... We ARE attracted to these differences.. it's true... On occasion it can cause us to wish the other was more like we are.. but all in all..

Where he is weak.. I am strong.. where I am weak he is strong....we compliment each other in many ways...

Compatibility wise....we seemed to want the same things in life...that typical american dream of raising a family together, living in the country, throw in a dog & a cat...same values, from how to spend $$ to our love languages...this has made for a pretty smooth ride ....

Profession/ social group.. similar blue collar backgrounds (both our fathers drove Truck)... we gravitated to the same sort of friends also...

Never had many family issues.. I wasn't close to family... and his are just wonderful people, they took me in at age 18 even...we married a few yrs later.. when we got our own place..
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post #7 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 07:38 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

Good topic!

My wife and I are polar opposites, and that's not such a bad thing.

However, our ability to understand where the other is coming from has served us well, and we rarely ever argue or fight about things.

As far as type, I think I AM her type - now. From what little I know about her previous partners/relationships, I'm not at all like anybody she's been with previously. I get the impression that whatever her previous type was, it wasn't me. But I'm the only one who has worked for her, so that speaks volumes.

I think she went outside of the box a little with me, but it's worked. Her previous type sounds like it was a "guys guy", non-communicative, less-than-sensitive, blue collar, etc. A stereotype, almost. A mirror of the men she grew up around, I suppose.

Physically, I don't think she has a type, TBH. Again, I know only bits and pieces of her former relationships, but physically they're all over the map. Tall, short, slim, big, blond, dark hair, etc etc etc. The few I've seen (pictures, or real life) have ranged from "you dated THAT?" to admittedly attractive.

Her type is me

*ETA - I also realized that every single woman I've ever dated (or married...) has been completely different than the others, too. Both in terms of physical attributes and personalities/backgrounds. I can confidently say that my wife is literally the only one who possesses all qualities I find desirable (even if one or two of them aren't "perfect"). Whereas anybody else I've been with had one or two qualities that were off the charts, and another one or two severely lacking.

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post #8 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 11:32 AM Thread Starter
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If completely fit 1 of the 2 types my W has been drawn to in her adult life. Type 1 is the professional businessman - suit & tie, clean shaven, short hair, very career-minded, with plans and goals. Stock brokers, military officers, IT professionals, etc would fit in this category. This is the type she is drawn to for a LTR/marriage. This is me.

The other is the artstic type - musicians, writers, singers, painters, photographers, comedians, etc. Appearance is a bit disheveled, with longer hair, free and open clothing styles, with a lack of stability/career-focus. This is the type to have fun with, to go out with to fun events, etc. Her work as a writer provides opportunities for associations with guys from this group.

No matter the category, she has certain likes that are consistent with both types: great sense of humor, stimulating conversation, genuine in interactions, loves & laughs, appreciates the good things, makes a good living/stable, physically endowed, tall, giving in bed, confident, can dance, good parent/husband, has hair.

Her universal dislikes are: selfishness, liars, cheaters (how ironic), self-grandiose behavior, beards, short, very overweight, bald, does not make good living, drugs, kid/ex/family drama, unstable, smokes, not well-endowed, body hair.

I suppose that I will always remain vigilant about any close associations that she may have with the artistic types, although her previous APs were from both camps. That was more than 10 yrs ago. So far so good.

Last edited by MAJDEATH; 02-24-2016 at 11:56 AM.
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post #9 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 03:56 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

Well he tells me and shows me I am his type.

Appearance, yes for sure, long dark hair, curvy body and a decent rack. He thinks I am beautiful in appearance and the way he looks at me and cups my face in his hands melts my heart.
I am the complete opposite of his first wife in that I am hard working, don't have mental health issues, am excited about life and new experiences, he embraces this.

His appearance is my type now because I am in love with him. He is quite different to my first husband as he is very tall and very broad. His heart and EQ is also the opposite from my first husband and that very much makes him my type.

Our moral and core values are very well aligned. Our parenting styles are the same. We share many common interests and spend a lot of quality time together. Having both come from long term unhappy marriages we both have the same longer term goals for a life of happiness.

We challenge each other to the extreme, we are still trying to understand each other and work out how to co exist in the best possible way but fortunately we both find this to be a positive not a negative as it is all about personal growth and growth as a couple.
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post #10 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-24-2016, 04:29 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

Physically, tbh, I don't know if my wife really has a type per se (muscular arms, a healthy rump, olive skin seems to have treated her very well ). For me I have a weak spot for fair skinned brunettes with a curvy figure, so she easily fits that.

Personality, in some respects we are very different and some respects the same. I know she loves my sense of humor and intelligence (or what she perceives as my intelligence, I like to think I just know how to sell it thanks to my "Word of the day" toilet paper lol). She is a bit more serious/anxious so I think my easy going personality really balances well with her.

Both of us are introverts and I am not sure either of us would do well if the other was an extrovert.

We both share many of the same morals/beliefs, and in general we both treat each other and really everyone else in our lives with honesty and respect.

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post #11 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-26-2016, 07:39 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

My fiance and I are very much each other's type...physically and personality. My fiance is tall, lean muscular build...brown hair. He's an engineer and very cerebral. I like that combination. I'm petite, brunette, athletic...that has typically been his type, and somewhat a combo of introvert/extrovert. Ultimately, he is an incredibly good person, and that is harder to find these days than the other aspects of 'types.'
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post #12 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-26-2016, 07:42 PM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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What qualities or attributes does your Spouse look for in a partner? Do you possess all or any of those qualities? Can be everything from personal appearance (body, face, hairstyle, endowment, clothing), profession, social group, personality, how they treat others, family issues, etc.
Wealthy and dead. I'm neither.
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post #13 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-27-2016, 11:57 PM Thread Starter
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I suppose that I will always remain vigilant about any close associations that she may have with the artistic types, although her previous APs were from both camps. That was more than 10 yrs ago. So far so good.
This is no way to live.
Love,cherish,and appreciate your Spouse, or somebody else just might!
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post #14 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-28-2016, 12:20 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

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Love,cherish,and appreciate your Spouse, or somebody else just might!
That goes both ways.


In addition love, cherish and respect yourself ...for good measure.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #15 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-28-2016, 10:54 AM
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Re: What is your Spouse's Type - do you possess those qualities?

My wife really has not described to me her type - or more specifically what she would prefer if she were looking for romance with someone other than me. She met me when she had just turned 18 and really had never had a long committed relationship with anyone before me. She was seeing someone when we met and dropped him like a hot potato - she did tell me at the time that he was nice but for whatever reason there was no chemistry.

We do complement each other though:

She is an extrovert and I am an introvert by nature - although, once I force myself to engage with someone I open up quick - it is just not natural like with her.

She loves to cook - I do not

I love to clean up the kitchen so it is perfect - she leaves it messy if I am not around.

She can read a menu like no other - she knows her food and wine; I hate to read the menu especially if I have forgotten my readers - so she just orders for me. I could never do that.

She is a major planner - and I do not like to be bothered with that. So all activities (including that of our kids) are managed by her.

I am the type who watched every penny - we have realized through many bounced checks when we were first married - that keeping track of money - budgeting, planning for the future is just not her thing - so I handle all the finances.

She has told me that she likes everything about me - and that I do it for her - but, never specifics really - she has told me that for what ever reason, when I hold her - she loves the way I smell and that she could hold me forever. I take her word for it - I just have never experienced that except that I like some of the perfumes that she wears.

I am one who thinks that the Love is Blind thing really exists. For me, everything is perfect with her and I know logically that I could not just get that lucky - my theory is that my taste adjusted to her because I fell in love with her. Examples: 1) she does have some things about her that bothered me - but I never noticed them until like a year after I had fallen in love with her - and now - I would not change one thing about her. 2) She has gained allot of weight since I met her - if she was the size back then that she is now - she would not have caught my attention - but now - I love her just the way she is and would not like her to be like she was when we first met. So I really do believe that blinders go on if love is there. She just turned 50 and I am 53 - I know the next 15-20 years are not going to be kind to both of us - but, I know that no matter what - when I look into her beautiful blue eyes - I will always see that girl I met when she was 18.
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