No, neither of us has cheated. I read the infidelity stories here and I'm appalled at the way married people treat their spouses. And I'm not just talking about the ones that cheat. Even the BS will often say that they never treated their spouse well, but didn't deserve to be cheated on. I agree with that, but why would any person treat their spouse poorly or ignore them???
I read the stories here and I go find my wife, give her a huge hug, look her in the eyes and tell her how much she means to me. Could she still cheat? Sure. But if she does she won't be able to ever say that I didn't give her my time, emotional security, or love. She KNOWS she is well loved.
When I hear a betrayed spouse admit they were neglectful, hurtful , not meeting needs... I give them credit for their honesty... many can't even do that.. all they see is the betrayal & not their own hand.. But I feel .. at least it makes more sense HOW it happened.. but also that it probably wouldn't
Watering our own garden.. it's so simple.. but we let so many things get in the way..
I can't say my husband has ever faltered on how well he treats me....Me, however...I've gotten better over the years....more attentive, more affectionate in mid life.. when I realized how fast it was all going for us.. Reading here has opened up some deeper conversations.. the "what IF's".... we do talk about all of these things..
In some ways I think I needed a kick in the butt....it does help you to realize what you have at home ...to never take anything for granted..
Not long ago.. I clicked on this thread >> What's the WORST thing about infidelity?
...the emotions shared were so RAW... until we go through something like that... we just don't know the power we have to hurt someone to their core...
One wrong choice..and trust is shattered, things may be able to be put back together.. but the scars remain..