Attempted WS Story/Recovery
Last night I went out with an old friend. He is divorced and looking, I was acting as a wing-man. He meets a lady and starts talking to her, I tried to help by talking him up to her girlfriend standing close-by. Turns out the girlfriend is actually a younger sister, and she is a military spouse with a husband who is deployed.
She tries to open our conversation by flirting with me, but being the old married guy (20 yrs), I quickly notice her ring and ask how long she has been married: to show her I have no interest in trying to pick her up. She is obviously drunk and looking to have fun with whatever guy wants to, while continuing to pound drinks.
So I engage in conversation and let her know I am an old married guy, and that I too was in the military and I know how hard it is for the wives to deal with the deployments. She shows me pictures of her husband and their 2 kids and I thank her for the sacrifice and that it will get better with time. They have been married 7 yrs. Apparently they also are having some marriage difficulties with finance and parenting. I show her some internet support sites to help with that.
Her older sister has never been married, no kids, and doesn't understand the difficulties of being married into the military. She just wanted them to go out and have fun.
Our discussion eventually gets back around to what she is doing out at a bar/nightclub. I get her to stop the alcoholic drinks, start drinking some water to hydrate, and think about her husband and family until her sister is ready to go. It's alright to have fun but maintain the big perspective. I told her she should tell her husband that she met a really nice married former military officer and he gave her some positive and uplifting advice, and kept her from making a mistake with some Jody.
She started happy crying and big sister tried to give me some grief about that, but I tried to explain that based on what I've learned on my life's journey, I was trying to help her sister. It did remind me of my own story and the difficulties of how my wife dealt with my own deployment absences. I think in the end it made her feel better to know that she wasn't alone and that others were understanding and supportive. I also told her quit telling strange guys you meet that your husband is gone! She agreed. We talked for about 2 hours total, and at the end she started asking me personal questions about where I work, my family, etc. I was careful not to reveal too much because I wasn't sure of her motivations because I was only trying to help and didn't want her drunk mind to get the wrong idea.
My friend did get a phone number from the sister so I guess the night was successful for him, and for me. Let's hope she pays-it-forward to the next military couple in 20 years.
The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married - John Fischer