One of my husband's lines is "Why get married if you don't want to be with the other person"
Well, I sense THIS other question your husband asked ISN"T rhetorical and is actually a curiosity.
Now. . .I am NO expert by any means on this complicated topic of marriage but I looked at my grandparents. I think their marriage was about well, more "business". . .raising kids, division of domestic labor (cooking her, handy stuff him) provision for basic needs (2 incomes), SOME minor companionship (travel escort), someone to share in big decisions (weddings, funerals, illnesses), sex of course (as a grandchild pretty freaky to think about that but that's how I got here I guess, lol) . . .but. . .he went fishing and she played cards. She was involved in the UAW union and he liked to tile for his work and side jobs.
They almost DIDN"T want to spend time with each other.
They had FRIENDS for that.
They have spouses for the other list I mentioned above.
Who knows. . maybe I integrated a wrong value from that, I'm not sure.
I do feel we have placed this HUGE burden upon the institution of marriage that we (maybe esp. men) can't live up to. I mean, it's great, SO GREAT, what you and your husband have, but I am not even sure that should be the goal, the GOLD STANDARD, you know?
Do you think?