SA, did you read Anon's thread in SIM last year, before he deleted it? It really is helpful to get a sense of both sides. It would be even more helpful if he would bring his wife here.
I never seen it.. what is the problem.. has he been completely silent on this to her...is she oblivious somehow??
And if so... what the hell is wrong with her.. doesn't she know she ought to please her husband once in a while , that rejection hurts ??
How is he so "the bad guy" here ...if he tried to talk to her and she rejected him again, then again.. then again.. then again..... and he's over here trying on his part, sacrificing himself for his kids..
Hell he's doing quite a bit I'd say.... remaining faithful for their welfare... What is he NOT DOING that she needs @jld
.. or can I ask you outright @Anon1111
...what are your flaws, where have you missed it with your wife ?? is she resentful towards you.. and why??
Lay it out there for me.. Unless he gained 100 lbs , isn't taking a shower, treats her like a piece of dirt (abusive), or if he's totally lacking affection... I can see why a woman would be turned off in a # of scenarios that can't all be covered here...there are some legitimate reasons to turn a man away..
So what are they?? She doesn't seem to want any part of him...does she want someone else.. is she NUMB.. is she on Meds that killed her sex drive & emotions.. if so. this is very common & it is also very hurtful to marriages...
You are right that I am baffled by sexless marriage. Absolutely baffled.
But I don't think telling these guys it is all on their wives to make things better is helpful to them. Honestly, I think it is depriving them of hope! Why would we want to do that to them?
Doesn't sound to me he has any hope.. but to see if a flame is put under her a$$ when he walks out the door....
Sexless marriages don't baffle me...I just think those who are rejecters deserve to be divorced .. if they don't need sex.. let them be single.... I have no sympathy for them - IF they are married to caring loving giving spouses..the right thing to do -would be to let them go.. otherwise I see them as Vow breakers and selfish..