Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In Love. - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

User Tag List

 30Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-18-2016, 01:45 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In Love.

I've tried to get back on the site a few times, but it wouldn't work for me...Now hopefully it will...I used to write here, but dug myself a hole and ran for the mountains...Now I find how precious life is and with age comes knowledge...You see I am his childbride of 79 while my husband is 80....I have many things to write about life and our marriage but it will take time...Thanks for letting me back on...Take care...TTAL....

Threetimesalady is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 01:19 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

I wish I knew why I was here...It is like the Call of the Wild with me...Maybe it was our doctor telling me in July of 2015 how rough it was handling the happiness of the older generation..Maybe it was his telling me that I should be a speaker to this group...Maybe it was his telling me that he doesn't know how to answer their questions..or maybe I know this for it takes an older person to truly understand the stress and problems of growing old....Yet, the one things that was paramount was the fact that I could be saving someone's life by speaking of the problem my husband had...Maybe it was my reading of Patty Duke dying in March of this year when her intestines burst and this could have happened to my husband....But, I do know something and that being that I must make an attempt to help...Hence, I am here....

I do not plan on boggling this thread down...I just wish and if they could to put me on the second page...This way when any older people want to read about another older person talking that they can find me without disturbing anyone else's thread...I swear on my life that I mean this...I want no publicity nor notice and only to write of life, love and the older age woman as well as dealing with the aging man...

Last year I just about lost my husband.....It was rough...He hates me going on forums......This was all part of frustration on my part and failing to take into consideration that I am old and they are young.....Either way I will try...TTAL or Caroline..

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-08-2016 at 10:58 PM.
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 07:19 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

I wonder if all women know that when you are in love that you never die off sexually?....I wonder if they know that we still have some hot "sock it to me baby" sex?...I also wonder if they know that you can bring a man back to life even after a rough operation and so sick beforehand that he had to again be ambulanced to the hospital....There he had to spend five days there just being treated for the infection before they could operate...Now add 14 after the surgery and it was a Merry Christmas that lasted until New Year's...Yet, in time (after four months) I found myself using a slow approach with teasing and slowly bringing him to life.......I never knew if this would work...but, we had been so good before this hit him that I thought I would try...This was difficult for me...I didn't know if I should back off or accept it...Slowly it worked...Being who we are we still share a king size bed...Slowly I approached him...Just reaching over and touching him is where I started...Thinking back on that time in life it was rough...I didn't know if I should push this and accept that he may be kind of sexless or use the magic of my imagination and how we used to be...

Looking back on this as I am correcting some of my messages I saw this happening occur...Before he got sick and at our last doctor appointment in July of the year of his surgery he had slowed down sexually...Started complaining of stomach bloat...With this came a difficult time ejaculating when we had sex...Pressure was already building up in his lower stomach and intestines and we just didn't know it...It was only that day when I saw the doctor with him (we both have our physicals together) that I told him about his stomach pain...My husband never told a doctor about this before even though the pains had been there for years...He immediately sent him down for X-rays and blood work and medication started...He guessed at it being what it was...This was a foreign word to me.......and one that I was soon to learn would be part of our medical dictionary of life....That being Diverticulitis......

What followed is a long story and one where he could have died from...The fact that he didn't is only a gift from God.....Now I find myself wondering if I have a screw loose for writing this thread as I will not delete again, but the wiser woman says write it...You may save a life...You didn't know this so maybe others don't either......So I am....

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-08-2016 at 11:21 PM.
Threetimesalady is offline  
 
post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-21-2016, 12:14 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

I do want to add one thing to this post...On an earlier post I put down that I wished they would put me on the second page so I would not boggle this thread down...It was only thinking about it that I realized that probably and I would too, think that I was worried that I would get too many replies and be at the top more...This was not the reason...In fact I expect none...After all I am one of the top ages of the over the hill gang...What would she know about life?...What is she doing here?...Must not have a life...The one and only reason for this added thread was to possibly save a life and make people aware of this happening...One of my husband's surgeons said he was so close to bursting that they could only get a small finger inside the opening from the stomach to the intestines...It was that bad and he was in so much pain...They couldn't tell us for near a week after surgery if he would have to be returned to the operating room because of leaking for a bag...He was lucky, but anything would have been a God send...He was saved..........

Tonight I told my husband that I again came onto the site and spoke about our medical problem......You see before this and after I bombed out I promised him that I would never do this again....Saying this I had to tell him as I feared my promise not to post anymore..You see at this age you fear everything that would shorten life and this was a promise....At first he argued with me...He told me I would freak out again and be troubled...I promised him I wouldn't and to give me a chance...He believed me and well he should...I aim only to help....

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-08-2016 at 11:31 PM.
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-26-2016, 12:22 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

Seeing I am altering all my posts I want to add this...Sexually he is wonderful...He kind of made it through the fog of "I am now dead" and let it all hang out...We are having some great sex, but I am being careful not to rush his ejaculating inside of me...Just hot baby let's go for it....If I may add if there is one thing a woman never loses it is her ability to turn a man to putty...but then again I couldn't do that unless he was who he was and I'm a basket of mush...I love to flirt...I love to tease and make it fun...and may I add I adore him...

TTAL

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-08-2016 at 11:39 PM. Reason: Had to chance some facts...
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-26-2016, 04:12 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,385
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

A lot of people posting here are in their 40's and 50's. Maybe that seems young to you; but we are middle-aged, not teenagers or twenty-somethings.

So, I think we appreciate the input of the generation ahead of us. Please don't feel you don't belong here because of your age.

And I'm sorry to hear of your husband's health difficulties. Very best wishes to the both of you.
notmyrealname4 is offline  
post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-27-2016, 02:56 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

Hi notmyrealname4 and thank you for the message...In all honesty I was hoping someone would respond to this thread yet had and have the intention of following up on what I intended to do before I opened this thread...For some reason which I will never understand, I find that as I age my mind grows...For me it screams out "tell what you have learned and let them find out what to expect"...This is more true now than years ago...Maybe because I have never entered this place in my twilight years or maybe because I don't think I am there yet....Either way I am and like who I am....

Today when we were out to lunch I told my husband of the response I had from you...Told him I was staying cool and not hogging the thread.....We talked and when I was through he understood my necessity in writing on this site...I told him that I also felt that I must write of his last illness...This just came about or known last July of 2015, when during our physical (which we have together) the doctor with my forcing all of his problems front and center in front of him found this out...You see my husband likes to ignore...I watch from afar and note things...I let nothing get by....We talked and already that afternoon he was sent down for more blood tests and X-rays...Medication started immediately, but too much damage had already been done...Then our struggle began with three ambulance visits, days in the hospital bringing the infection under control and finally a surgery.....This was a surgery that was pushed forward by a week as he had again been taken to the hospital...There in the emergency room our son and I pleaded with the surgeon on call not to let him go home after this last seizure...I had read a great deal about this disease and we both feared a rupture...The surgeon was wonderful and despite it being Christmas they moved him forward a full week to the next open date...At the time they could not do it immediately because the infection was not under control nor was he prepped or ready for this type of procedure...This last and final happening with the surgery and admission lasted 18 days....I am going to write about this as I feel someone just may gain from it....Right now I want to think it over.....

Again thank you for the note..For me it was the shot of adrenaline that propels me...My best to you....I will be adding my Gigi old post in the next few days....This alone tell me how 10 years makes a different...Then I will write about my feelings right now with soon (7 months away) and approaching 80....

Now I must get something done...Take care...Caroline...
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-29-2016, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

I took off this post as it didn't belong here...I just wanted to show you what it felt like when I was 70...Come to think of it...Wild and wonderful...and in many ways I still do...Now I am near 80 and still feel the same.... In the last four years I have lost 45 pounds and am so happy with me....Age wise I have found that taking off the weight took away age...This has given me a new confidence in myself and it shows... With my husband I have my work cut out for me, however, after this morning I think we will be fine.....I am building up his self confidence in himself and making him believe that I am satisfied with the way our sex life is...and believe me I am...This morning was awesome...For some reason men think that penetration and the strength of an erect penis is what counts...That is so far fetched from the truth that it is a joke...It is the love making that comes with it...It is the holding and pleasuring each other with no holds barred...It is who you were when you were young and innocent...and very, very erotic...I know, I wet the bed pretty good today...Take care...C....

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-02-2016 at 11:08 PM. Reason: Didn't belong here4
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-02-2016, 07:17 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

I really messed up on the above post...I tried to show how alive a woman is at 70 and believe me I was and still am and instead came off as a "show off"...This is not nor wasn't my intention...I came on this site for one reason..and that being let them know that I, too, have gone through hell...Ours is an ongoing story...It has to do with doctors having to insert a tube of some sort into my husband's penis two weeks before surgery...It has to do with this not coming out for five weeks...This the surgeons needed done so they would not cut the urethra tube to his bladder during surgery...You see his intestines had wound around this area and it was such a mess inside that it was necessary...Add to this a catheter in the hospital for seven days after surgery...

if I had to do this thread again I would have gone into the story from the beginning...but I didn't....Saying this please forgive and take care... I will not delete....This stays...TTAL...

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-12-2016 at 10:48 PM.
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-02-2016, 10:55 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

Seeing I told in an earlier post that my husband had Diverticulitis, this post is not necessary...But, I will add this...He has 28 stitches from the surgery...He had this intestinal problem a long time ago and it came to a head...I believe what really brought it on happened after his Pacemaker...He had to use Warfarin to control his blood or it would get to thick...He had a bad time doing this and couldn't control it...He had to eat a lot of greens and vegetables and certain foods to keep it where is should be...Finally we gave up and changed to Xarelto...With this he could eat anything and not worry as it took care of his blood...Unfortunately, you could also bleed to death if you were seriously hurt and they couldn't stop it...For us it was put him in the hospital a day ahead so they could monitor his blood accordingly...This has been no problem for us and we just keep him away from knives...I look at it now as to just be safe...Our Cardiologist was in favor of it and with his blood work we had no choice...

I think this thread is necessary...Since that time we have found many people with this problem...He was on the cancer floor of the operating section of the hospital and she said they generally have about ten people who have had the same surgery as my husband's...Few got as bad as his was, but I feel he tolerated pain so well and hated hospitals so much that he could have died holding back thinking it was nothing serious and would pass...This is what he has told me and I know it...We were lucky...

I changed this whole thread because I had to...I came on here to help and didn't....Now I feel better...One thing they (nurses) told us was to watch out for too much stomach on older men...This means in their 40's and 50's....Being overweight can be your enemy...Too much stress on your stomach and intestines...This can also affect people in their 20's and it is not necessarily the weight problem...However, they do feel that men have this more than women...While my husband was in the hospital on the last day he was there, he saw a friend of his there on his floor...At the time my husband was doing his laps as they keep count on your walking....The man (younger than my husband by about ten years) was just recovering from the same surgery as my husband had...Maybe this will never be read and maybe it will, either way I tried...Take care...TTAL....


Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-09-2016 at 12:01 AM.
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-09-2016, 12:07 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

I hated to bring this to the top but I felt it necessary....I did change the whole thread...Reading it back it looked like I was going around in circles...Not telling what I wanted to say...Never even mentioning Patty Duke....and that was wrong...So I rewrote it...Said what I should have said at the beginning...and I am happy.....Take care...TTAL....
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-09-2016, 03:08 AM
TBT
Member
 
TBT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,389
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

@Threetimesalady You shouldn't worry about bringing your posts to the top as I enjoy reading them when I see them and I'm sure others do as well. It often mystifies me that a site such as TAM has so few viewers and/or participants in the Long Term Success in Marriage forum. For me,there is nothing better than to hear the thoughts of someone,who in terms of longevity alone,has something worthwhile to say. This,from someone who sadly has been a failure at long term success;something I've come to terms with as time marches on.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say,except maybe sometimes I feel that you think you don't belong here,but as far as I'm concerned you most definitely do. I've been reading your posts since I first joined TAM in 2011. Often my takeaway is not just about marriage,but how life can be as long as I remember to live it. I'll be 66 on my next birthday,God spares me,and recently retired. The vibrancy and spirit in your posts resonate with me,reminding me not to be stagnant or complacent,as I think could easily happen if my steps aren't sure.

58 years together... cheers! Life can be a wonderful thing. God bless and ease your worries.

"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis
TBT is offline  
post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

Hi TBT and thank you for your note...First and foremost congratulations on your retirement...My husband retired at 64 and we have had a blast since that time...If I went back to that date I could write a book on the change in me as a woman...First and foremost would be my finding myself and saying "Girl this is your life"...."Life, love and be happy"...and believe me I have...During my aging I have found that far too many women fail to ignore the age symbol behind their name...They think of themselves as past their prime while I still think of myself as "as good as it gets"....To me this is the attitude I use in life...You are what you make of yourself...but then I am married to the neatest man that was ever created...I adore him more than life itself...This love has grown through the years and will live through eternity....Anyone who thinks that once you reach older age (I will be 80 mid year and he 81) that you lose all romantic feelings and the power to fulfill them should think again...Either that or we are off on some enchanted isle and having the time of our lives...So much of this is the power of love and one filling in when the other needs help...

As for your marriage failing, there are so many lonely women out there that are looking for friendship...Don't count yourself out...Of the two sexes you are the one most in demand...Just be happy being happy....and make every minute count...

Yes, I do feel I don't belong here...Maybe always have...Probably being oldest on the totem pole and definitely being one of the most outspoken on life didn't help......Saying this I only did this thread as I felt that I could save a life by speaking of a happening that could have killed my husband......When the intestines rupture they spill all the inner holdings of this part of your body that was heading for emptying outside the body into the into the body cavity...This is where the infection starts that they cannot control...My husband was close...He was on antibiotics day and night for a good week after the surgery as well as five days before it...Believe me, we were lucky...

In all honesty I can't believe that we have been married for 58 years within a month and growing strong...Never, but never would either of us have guessed that this would happen...The fact that we are both alive and growing strong shocks us...When our Internal Medicine doctor told us two months ago "see you in a year"...it was wonderful...These were magic words, but we still live day by day...and always will..You see we hit the jackpot and are still alive......

Thank you again and do take care...TTAL....

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 10-11-2016 at 10:02 PM. Reason: Shortening post...Got too long...
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 01:01 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Threetimesalady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 135
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

For the first time since I did my last post I came back here...I was shocked (after finally finding my new password) to find that since I had visited the site last and my last post at 94 views that I now had 922...Actually I was not shocked, I was blown away...I figured before and not getting any views that my age was a handicap...I figured youth wants to read youth...Now I find that with my just being short of 80 years old by a couple months that I still am youth...You see knowledge grows and with a mind like mine I take my husband along with me for his ride in life...

This is just part of what aging has done for me...Oh your body hurts like heck sometimes, but so does everyone else...Only problem ours is a "body hurt" and theirs is life itself....

I am doing this without the approval of my husband...I'm not sure how to handle this with him, but part of me has the "call of the wild" to let loose with knowledge of life that has been gained as I am aging...I'm not sure just why, but it screams out at me...Maybe he will be mad, but I think in time he will understand...For many approaching this time in life is confusing enough without dreading older age...I know I did...What I wrote when I turned 70 showed this...If I can find it I will add it to this thread...I was in a panic and the thought of this new age scared the devil out of me.....I think more than anything that it is the new awakening and understanding of the aging woman and her fear of the loss of her sexuality that she still retains that troubles me...I see it (not with me as we are cool and I am not ashamed of a subtle word or deed) but women I know who are younger and know me and not ashamed of asking questions about sex...This fact of life has truly blown my mind..I tell them I am still their age as a woman and the only difference is that we are older...They must know that lovers do not die unless one of them wills it...I still adore him...Could kick him in the butt sometimes, but wanted to do this at times since the first time we met and I am sure he feels the same...I am young because he makes me feel so young and I never let that thought go away...The first time a woman hugged me after telling her this I teared up...You see people just don't know....

One more thing, a man fears the loss of his potency...This route we have gone too...I recall well his telling me at 35 or so that someday I will wish that he could still get that magnificent hard on again...At that time I thought to myself, but honey that might be nice...Now I feel different, but we do have a wonderful sex life...He makes my eyes twinkle and remains my boyfriend from years ago....So we stay that age...Sleep together in a king size bed and still am awaken with him at my boobs in the middle of the night...Believe me I have my own way of keeping the home fires burning...Enough said on that...

I think I have now said enough and feel better for doing it...He is the love of my life and I am the happiest and luckiest woman in the world...Please all take care....Caroline....

Last edited by Threetimesalady; 02-11-2017 at 02:16 PM.
Threetimesalady is offline  
post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 09:27 AM
Member
 
Taxman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: The Frozen North
Posts: 182
Re: Honey, it Will Soon Be 58 years And I Can't Believe It..& May I Add Still So In L

Three Times A Lady
Thank you for your posts. They warm my heart, and if I might add, that I know where you are coming from. You see, my wife and I have been together for 42 years, and married almost 39. She is still my girlfriend. The kids are now out on their own, and we worked on turning toward one another instead of away. I know that sounds a little strange, but we find that among our friends, say out of 10 couples back when we were first marred, us and one other couple are still married. We dropped the big mausoleum of a house, and bought ourselves a little townhouse which we call the "love-nest", so that we are not spending all of our time maintaining a house. Just living.

Don't let anyone tell you that passion fades after 60. We are passionately in love with one another. We get off, just hanging out. She knows she is my little island of sanity in an insane world, and I am hers. In fact, in every way shape or form, I am hers.

Last edited by Taxman; 02-23-2017 at 03:41 PM.
Taxman is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome