As I mentioned, I can only address my own PA tendencies and how I reacted.
That being said, I can see how the quote you referenced make it appear as if I made a blanket statement.
For me, I do not think that I found any pleasure in being called out, or being on the receiving end of someone else's reaction to my PA. I feared it and cowed to it.... again, conflict avoidance is a hallmark of my own PA.
I am working on it. It is difficult.
1. Work: Colleague calls and says: I have booked you for an on site job in Chicago Wed and thursday next week. I saw that those two days where open on your schedule.
In the old days: I see that he is correct. I say... errr... well, ok... I will try my best to be there. and then, I fail, or show up late.
Nowadays; Yeah.... I am open, but, Monday and Tuesday I am booked for a job in New York and another first thing in Boston on Friday, and heading back to FL. Why did you not friggin look at the week in full before you made a commitment. It is friggin there. You need to find someone else...
2. Wife: Calls and says: Stop by a market and get (a particular brand of something, and a particular brand of something else)...
In the old days: I say... errrr... ok... will do what I can... (fully knowing I cannot get them)... gets home with something else..... admonishment and critisism ensue. I get defensive and sulk.
Nowadays: I say: it is 8 in the evening. Those kinds of things can only be found in market ABC and they are closed already or too far away for my comfort. I can get you substitute X or Z....... if you don't want those substitutes... I cannot help you.
admonishments and criticisms ensue... but, I don't sulk: I rather say: to bad. Get them yourself....
There is still anger in me for getting those kinds of requests and demands, but, I try to deal with it right away, and stand my ground.
That being said, it is not always that I am really concious about it, and I sometimes revert to PA behavior.
Now, the drawback is that I am getting divorced. But, I still have a job
... you win some, you loose some.
I never felt any satisfaction in letting people down though.... I feared it.
I have a boss (well, we are partners, but I have a smaller share of the co); very aggressive go-getter... he thrives on conflict, and tells people to **** off on a regular basis.... but, 2 hours later, he will call them all smiles, he gets angry,,, then it is in the past, and he moves on. That is what I aim for.