I enjoyed reading your post and congrats to you as well. I don't want to gloss over the rough patches we've had over the years but we've never had anything close to being a trust issue. Ever. Looking back most conflict we had was over stupid, silly things. It seems more and more that we navigated through a maze and were lucky to make the correct turns along the way.
Perhaps it was important for us to understand, accept, and be happy with our marriage roles. They've been clearly defined from the start. I've always been able to provide so she could run the home, but she worked until we decided to have our son. We've only ever had "our money", not "my money" and "her money", and I trusted her to manage the budget and pay the bills (most practical for a military family). When our son was born I did my best to be more than a paycheck...to be an involved father...and to take the pressure of being home with a young one all day off of her shoulders when possible. My wife will tell you that she feels spoiled.
Anyhow, I hadn't put a lot of thought about how we got here until coming to TAM. This site has prompted a number of heart-to-heart discussions between us and I am so glad it did. It's good to take stock once in a while.
Still near everything you say sounds so much like us... I've always handled all the finances, he's happy he doesn't have to mess with any of it (his words)...I'm a little tighter over him so he's never worried about me.. if anything... I might complain we need to "wait.. not spend this much right now"... I don't think my husband has written a check in the last 17 yrs or so... always "our money" too..
Our fights have always been rather on the ridiculous side ... in the moment it can get heated.. but there were times we even started laughing in the midst of them.. some are so outrageous..we've relived them -just for a good laugh, sharing them with friends even!... He doesn't hold my hot headedness against me in the moment.. God bless him. Then it calms.. and we talk, we share, we humble ourselves....this moves us towards each other...and it's always good to FIGHT NAKED !..
Then there is Make up sex...he's accused me of fighting for make up sex.. then we'd argue about this, but just a little...
It had to be difficult with your being away in the Military... just the MISSING each other, would get very lonely - I can't imagine the anticipation.. the longing there ....
This is one area we've not had to deal with.... I think the longest we've been separated may be about a week , his getting training for work in another state .... we've been married 27 yrs (together 34)... in our early years....I remember us throwing around the idea of his getting training for a Class A - over the road.. we decided against it.. we'd miss each other too much.. better for us live very frugally, me to go to work on the side, working around his schedule.. but we'd still see each other every day..
Yes... reading here has opened up many discussions between us too, the "What IF's" of life... I don't think it matters how many years a couple has been together... still there are new insights along the way... I'm thankful my husband doesn't mind such a thing...a lot of men might be like "Leave me alone woman!@#".... I like to call it "Intellectual Foreplay" even.. a phrase I got from a book.... he doesn't get into writing on a forum- like me.... but he's always game for sharing his 2 cents... I just really appreciate that..