I agree with others that Hollywood romance has done a terrible disservice to people by presenting an unrealistic view of relationships.
Does it make me Crazy to actually love & thoroughly enjoy the Romances Hollywood puts out.. but be sickened by the real lives of those making the movies, what we read in the pages of People & endless magazines standing in the check out lines..those, to me, are the bad examples...
I don't know.. I have a good marriage.. I love being married, we both wanted family, to live in the country.... I am a Romantic. I married a Romantic... not in the sense of "flowers, gifts, & jewelry".. but this write up captures it...
Being Romantic means being sensitive, affectionate, and spritually-inclined.
The paramount quality of a romantic person is sensitivity. The romantic is a person who FEELS deeply, and attaches a lot of meaning to those feelings. Because of this, the romantic will express him/herself through such things as affection, verbal declarations of love, and meaningful gestures, all of which come from deep within.
A romantic will perceive a richness of detail that is lost on the non-romantic type -- such things as the fleeting expression of a lover’s eyes. In a split second, the romantic has perceived a hint of sadness there, which the lover quickly tries to hide, by pretending it was never there to begin with. But the romantic saw it, and was touched by it....This takes sensitivity, depth of feeling, as well as spiritual awareness.
Romantic people LOVE to give love! Romantic types simply want to make sure that their partners feel loved, special, and appreciated. No gesture is either too big or small to show how they feel about their beloved.
Romance involves the total involvement with another person’s inner world -- their soul, their intellect, their heart. One gives all of oneself to this person, and being romantic certainly expresses how completely one is committed to this person, to being in a relationship with them.
To sum up, being a romantic entails being sensitive, expressive, and spiritual, not only in regards to one’s beloved, but in one’s life as well, through saturating it with great beauty.
And Yes.. I wanted a man who "gets that".. feels this way about me too..We dated a # if yrs before we married...I felt it then.. as I still feel it today from him... 34 yrs later... it takes the mundane of our lives & lifts us up... we are very thankful for what we share... I still long for my husband's touch...
I can always tell by how someone talks ABOUT MARRIAGE, what it means to them.. if it's "just a piece of paper", it's irrelevant today "who needs it".... it's very telling to who we'd be compatible with..
Then too often people change after the vows.. Love & trusting another... there is always RISK here.....what can we offer but ourselves to do all we can to enhance the passion in our marriages.. to keep the flames burning at home.. but it will always take 2...we need each other
...if one of us becomes selfish, cold, rejecting, spitting on the needs of the other .. it's going to shake the foundation..
Ynot: I completely agree on the concept of "soul mate". What an amazingly heavy burden for everyone to carry. And very limiting and asphyxiating for both spouses. A spouse should be a just a fellow traveler in this crazy travel through life. A friend ready to let us fly and explore and find ourselves. And we should do the same for them. No ownership or absurd expectations to "make us happy". And the blame that comes when spouses somehow fail to deliver such happiness. An easy way out from taking responsibility for our own lives. Worse, the expectation of the fairy tale many times does end up killing the beauty and pleasures we can find in our daily lives.
....On the whole Soul mate thing...this was a post I did years ago..
For many yrs I used the term Soulmate
in talking about my husband.....cause I always felt I found mine....(He still uses it in regards to me- I'm not going to yell at him for this)....
But one night yrs ago now.... I caught this Christian Marriage Counselor on TV ....talking about this concept/belief..... and how it has the potential to HURT many marriages...
Because when going through a really rough patch, one may start to QUESTION if who they are with = their "Soul mate
"....or they missed him or her.... they entertain that their soul mate is still out there waiting
to be found... tempted to chase some Romantic rainbow - dancing in their heads .....
Instead of sticking it out & working together for a reconciliation / that hard work
needed to find peace & Harmony within the marriage
, they are tempted to look outside of it.
So in this way, the "soul mate" belief can lead one down a wrong path ...
The Beef of that program was...a Marriage is what we put into it, where 2 people give & share lovingly & care about one another...this can be found with MANY people around the globe, also if we loose a spouse, we can find it with another ....compatibility is helpful here....but there is no bonafide soul mate for each.
I really enjoyed that program & seen much WISDOM
Yet still...me & mine still refer to each other like this on occasion... We're not perfect..no one is or ever will be -fights will come....yet we can laugh & still find great love in those very "imperfections" ...my attempt at explaining this HERE >> The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfections