Meaning of Marriage - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

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post #31 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 08:21 AM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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Originally Posted by Emerging Buddhist View Post
As long as you both shall love... how that holds is up to the participants.

Nothing more, nothing less...
This is precisely the basis of our vows, and WE - and only we - define how that works for us. Of course, if that ever ceases to be the case, we'll have to deal with the laws of the state where we reside at the time.


Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #32 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 09:13 AM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

Since this is an anonymous forum, I can admit my darkest secret: Even though I'm a guy I actually like Hollywood romances.... I do realize that they represent real romance about as well as James Bond movies represent real espionage work. The concept of romance is great, as long as people really understand what is fantasy and what isn't.






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Does it make me Crazy to actually love & thoroughly enjoy the Romances Hollywood puts out.. but be sickened by the real lives of those making the movies, what we read in the pages of People & endless magazines standing in the check out lines..those, to me, are the bad examples...

I don't know.. I have a good marriage.. I love being married, we both wanted family, to live in the country.... I am a Romantic. I married a Romantic... not in the sense of "flowers, gifts, & jewelry".. but this write up captures it...



And Yes.. I wanted a man who "gets that".. feels this way about me too..We dated a # if yrs before we married...I felt it then.. as I still feel it today from him... 34 yrs later... it takes the mundane of our lives & lifts us up... we are very thankful for what we share... I still long for my husband's touch...

I can always tell by how someone talks ABOUT MARRIAGE, what it means to them.. if it's "just a piece of paper", it's irrelevant today "who needs it".... it's very telling to who we'd be compatible with..

Then too often people change after the vows.. Love & trusting another... there is always RISK here.....what can we offer but ourselves to do all we can to enhance the passion in our marriages.. to keep the flames burning at home.. but it will always take 2...we need each other...if one of us becomes selfish, cold, rejecting, spitting on the needs of the other .. it's going to shake the foundation..





....On the whole Soul mate thing...this was a post I did years ago..
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post #33 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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I didn't miss it, I don't think it matters. Marriage is basically a contract. When you make the contract you know what you are agreeing to, at that point for the people who signed the contract the definition is static. So it doesn't matter what societies definition is anymore.
A marriage is not a contract. A marriage is a promise. A contract is a legal business document, enforceable by law, and that is made in exchange for something of economic value. A promise comes from the heart and does not involve economic compensation.

Unfortunately, marriage is a promise most people make when they are young and quite literally drunk in the neuro-chemicals of infatuation and love and lust (yes, there are actually a few books you can read on the amazing brain chemistry of love). Gullible love birds buying into the absurdly false expectations of the modern day marriage. Not understanding it is all a clever rouse setup by Mother Nature. It is designed to get worry free young people to take on the unthinkable responsibilities to have and raise children. One of nature's most incredible tricks! And most people fall for it (thank God, otherwise we wouldn't be here). And will continue to do so for a very long time.

But, like other promises we make, at some point many realize the marital promise was simply not realistic. Just like that promise to lose 20 lbs by the time of the HS reunion. Despite our best intentions things just can't happen for most. The reason being that -in some ways- these promises go against our very nature. Research has clearly shown the neuro-chemicals of love, infatuation, and lust do change quite dramatically over time. Not only that, but we change, our partners change, and the world changes. And we live much longer. Some people stick to the promise even when it turns into a cruel punishment. Some just quit. Others revisit the promise. And, as the smart animals we are, we will eventually redefine the norms and expectations of marriages so that we do not set ourselves up for failure from the very beginning.
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post #34 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 02:42 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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Hey I like it too. But if you have a good marriage you know that that is only part of what makes it work, and for the most part one of the more easier ones if both of you like that kind of thing. The hard part is dealing with their moods and cleaning their dirty underwear. To me that is love, true love is cleaning the toilets with your SO hairs on them. See I told you I was romantic .
Sure there is the Unrealistic in Romance.... the characters are always model , one is always available, like they fell out of the sky, no baggage, a crazy ex that screwed them up a bit.....then the man is always loaded, he may own a castle or something... Personally...I'd like to see a few "Blue collar" romances now & then... ..Though once it gets under way.. the mounting feelings, whatever challenge they face ..leading up to falling in love, the emotional climax...I love it !

There's only a couple hrs.. I think leaving out the dishes or cleaning toilets is Ok in these movies.. ha ha..

Isn't it what we all long for, ultimately....even if they present MEN, some rugged as steel, being too mushy...(my husband is an expressive sentimental type -he's weird like that) so to me, it's not all that unrealistic..

It's really about the feelings these movies evoke in us...they are mountain top feel good... this is the problem... some can not watch romances, it hurts too much.. they may want to shoot the screen.. I can understand that..

I guess I look at it this way.. we sure have enough killings, true murder brought to life, glamorizing fictional Mistresses / Cheating -on reality Tv too!.... Lifetime movies- they have grown progressively SICKER over the years...to where I am covering my eyes silently screaming to not see the blade plunging into a body/ blood & gore is everywhere...... So yeah.. I'll take the unrealistic romances over some of that..

Always enjoyed the classics.. like Wuthering Heights (so tragic!), Pride & Prejuduce...Watched Sid & Nancy yrs ago.....now that was a dysfunctional drug addicted mess, but it goes to show no matter how f***ed up one is.. there is probably someone out there to share your obsession with you.. until death...it was still a love story.

I never did see The Vow (a true story).. pretty sure I will cry all the way through that one..

We've never had fights, even a spat over picking up or who does what in the house.. that's my role... dirty socks.. toilet rings.. it's all good....

Yes we all get moody, have bad days, stress at work, kids driving us mad... many times just seeing him walk through the door...it's calming... we share our day.. we make each other feel better.. truth is... I've caused more fights (stupid fights) over wanting more sex..worrying he's loosing his sex drive....I had this crazy hormonal surge in mid life... was loving it but also.. it was tormenting at times.. I could hardly concentrate.. I felt like a young man in puberty... how many men could keep up with 3 times a day -my husband couldn't... . .. Even at that, these were some of the best times too...He could think of far worse things for me to be grouchy about.. that I couldn't get enough of his body! ...He'd joke about it..... finally I got it through my thick skull that his desire is fine, he's Ok.. it was me out of whack...

Then turn that upside down & go back 19 yrs.. he was the higher drive.. and I was oblivious.. he was passive.. and well.. we missed each other more than we should have.. We all have some regrets, right... so long as it's not with who we are with...


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Since this is an anonymous forum, I can admit my darkest secret: Even though I'm a guy I actually like Hollywood romances.... I do realize that they represent real romance about as well as James Bond movies represent real espionage work. The concept of romance is great, as long as people really understand what is fantasy and what isn't.
Have any of you met someone who's living in a bonafide "fantasy world" due to -too many romantic movies, books? ... how does such a woman act ?? It's a serious question..

We caught a movie on this once... I forget the name.. but this young woman literally entertained all this BLISS inside her head against the obvious of how the man (who was married ) was treating her...oh it was tender at 1st ...but basically HE WAS USING HER for sex.. she was pathetically deluded..it was sad... wouldn't believe him when he wanted rid of her even...she was still entertaining them getting married, living happily ever after... it was a fictional movie.. but as deluded as she was.. I never met anyone that nuts -or they would have mental issues..
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post #35 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 03:15 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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I had this crazy hormonal surge in mid life... was loving it but also.. it was tormenting at times.. I could hardly concentrate.. I felt like a young man in puberty... how many men could keep up with 3 times a day -my husband couldn't... . .. Even at that, these were some of the best times too...He could think of far worse things for me to be grouchy about.. that I couldn't get enough of his body! ...He'd joke about it..... finally I got it through my thick skull that his desire is fine, he's Ok.. it was me out of whack...
I can't even imagine my wife doing this. It might have saved our marriage.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #36 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 03:38 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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Unfortunately, marriage is a promise most people make when they are young and quite literally drunk in the neuro-chemicals of infatuation and love and lust (yes, there are actually a few books you can read on the amazing brain chemistry of love). Gullible love birds buying into the absurdly false expectations of the modern day marriage. Not understanding it is all a clever rouse setup by Mother Nature. It is designed to get worry free young people to take on the unthinkable responsibilities to have and raise children. One of nature's most incredible tricks! And most people fall for it (thank God, otherwise we wouldn't be here). And will continue to do so for a very long time.
Relationship experts will tell you a couple can not tell the difference between Infatuation and love -due to the c0cktail of hormones in the beginning months.. very true... each couple should give it at least 18 full months.. if after this time.. they are still feeling it.. still enjoying each other. still wanting that future together...after the passion has died down .. but a spark is still lit for each other...they have beat the odds..

Although I can pick out parts of truth in so much of what you speak.. it's like you HATE the whole notion of marriage.. you see it only for blind fools -leading themselves to slaughter or something.... what's behind this .. what's your story...were you married.. worst mistake of your life.. is all your friends divorced & you sit around laughing at how absurd the notice of a happy marriage is?

My parents married too young (both 18) my father had a high sex drive.. infatuation at play for sure...My Mothers Mother kept harping on her to get married since they were sleeping together (back in the 60's).... that was a train wreck.. they were the most incompatible couple I've probably ever met.. I met my husband when I was 15.. he was 18.. we didn't marry till our early 20's... we had many years to KNOW how compatible we were...it was way beyond infatuation for us.
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post #37 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 03:44 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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But, like other promises we make, at some point many realize the marital promise was simply not realistic. Just like that promise to lose 20 lbs by the time of the HS reunion. Despite our best intentions things just can't happen for most. The reason being that -in some ways- these promises go against our very nature. Research has clearly shown the neuro-chemicals of love, infatuation, and lust do change quite dramatically over time. Not only that, but we change, our partners change, and the world changes. And we live much longer. Some people stick to the promise even when it turns into a cruel punishment. Some just quit. Others revisit the promise. And, as the smart animals we are, we will eventually redefine the norms and expectations of marriages so that we do not set ourselves up for failure from the very beginning.
So what of those who beat the odds... do they not deserve a mention?

I've done 2 threads on "People changing"... I find it a very interesting subject... Yes many people change, there is no denying this....but at the same time....I don't believe all people change all that much .. some do.. some don't.. it's not a universal thing...that we'll be like this completely different person in another 20 yrs.. I think it's more that resentment gets a hold in a marriage & this changes US.. it changes our wants, and too often WHO we want....

This was a thread of mine > How much do people REALLY CHANGE over the years ? How have you changed ?...

Quote:
I see these comments everywhere.. consistently.. how people CHANGE.. everyone changes... add: If you haven't changed.. something must be wrong with you.. even though we outright admit that THESE VERY CHANGES are what often hurts our relationships, marriages .

So HOW have you changed, how has your spouse changed... whether in good ways, or bad that has hurt your marriage.. or enhanced it?

I tend to see it in another light too...that many times, especially with younger people... they may not be fully in touch with who they are .. what they want in life.. still trying to figure this out...but it was there all the time.. I am not one who feels we fundamentally change all that much I guess -at our core. At least this hasn't been my experience so much. .

If I went back in time.. I still understand who I was.. what I wanted ..it would still be the same today as it was yesterday.. I have grown in some areas that has benefited our marriage though.. lost some inhibitions (sexually speaking)... all a plus.

I can't say my husband has changed much at all.. he's making more money, he's a dad.. he's a better mechanic..but really.. at his core.. he's the same sweet guy I met when I was 15. Are we not normal?
Also > CHANGE ..from Dating to VOWS to NOW...who/what & why -could it be weathered?

Quote:
I see it all the time in TAM posts..... "EVERYONE CHANGES".....we're supposed to change as the years progress....but HOW much of WHO WE REALLY ARE at our core
changes with the years...(how we envisioned our future, our deepest longings, what brings us happiness, how we communicate, our humor style, our dreams, goals and HOW WE LOVE)...

I assume the vast majority were so happy on their wedding day..they thought they could conquer the world together...after all that's why we get married ...this thread is about what REALLY CHANGED...WHO CHANGED...to bring you to where you are now....what caused the collide... or did one spouse change while the other remained the same...

I often see posters give links to how our brains are not fully developed till age 25... taken from one such article...

Quote:
According to new studies, the pre-frontal cortex usually does not reach a level of genuine maturity until someone reaches their mid-twenties! "It's sort of unfair to expect [teens] to have adult levels of organizational skills or decision-making before their brains are finished being built"
Yet many has married before this... and it has lasted... or after our mid 20's...still marital strife seems to reign... So what are people missing during dating...is it a matter of NOT getting to know each other deeply/ vulnerably ENOUGH ....

What best describes your situation in hindsight...

1. Missing Red Flags ... ..... caught up in the "whirlwind / dopamine rush / "LOVE can conquer all" mentality. Maybe friends / relatives even pointed them out...but you felt they were all wrong.

2. Partner misrepresented himself/ herself...(Ex...Man treats his girl like a Queen....ends up an abuser after the Vows..or Girlfriend very sexual / then suddenly the sex dies once the ring is on the finger)...and it feels like a "Bait & Switch"....

3 No Misrepresentation ...all was discussed/ agreed upon going in/ no blinders ...then after so many yrs...Priorities change..and one feels deeply blindsided...(Example....Agreeing to have children, then one changes his or her mind...)

4 Lacking Self awareness to own's own needs & desires in Marriage...maybe low self esteem..."Settled"... Naive....went in blindly...not asking enough questions .... realized later ...very little compatibility ...

5 We haven't really changed much......what we wanted then...it still what we'd want today... the smaller changes that came... we grew & weathered together...

6 We've changed A LOT over the years, growing pains to show for it....but here we are, we are still Kicking...our foundation was strong & come hell or high water...we've made it work...kinda like the words from the Notebook ...fighting it out >>




7 None of the above... please explain...
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post #38 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:09 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

The meaning of marriage? What's the meaning of life? Both of those question have no right or wrong answers.

IMHO marriage should be a renewable contract, we set ourselves up for failure thinking it has to be for life and if not then we are failures. I have been divorced but do not consider my past marriage as a failure, it would only have been a failure if I did not learn the amazing and empowering life lessons it taught me.

To me, marriage can be in whatever incarnation you choose it to be as long as it is respectful. A couple that remain in an unhappy marriage till death, one that is full of disrespect (lying, cheating, abuse, neglect etc) are not in a successful marriage.

How other people choose to define marriage is up to them, I am in a defacto relationship which is more precious, committed and compatible than my legal marriage was. We do plan on getting legally married in the future, I look forward to that day with happiness and excitement.

In the end I think most people want to be loved, valued and respected, IMHO this can only be achieved with monogamy but it does not require a legal ceremony. In fact one of the more favoured relationship types where I live is two household monogamy. Many people, especially post divorce, choose to be in a committed relationship but not live together.

We are not God botherers here so I see no place at all for God in marriage.
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post #39 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 05:40 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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I can't even imagine my wife doing this. It might have saved our marriage.
It's a strange thing... seems to hit some of us in mid life (and strongly) then others.. it just doesn't seem to happen.. caring about our spouses needs would save millions of marriages !

It's why I landed on this forum... I was reading so many books on sex, hormones, Testosterone (worried about his), our libidos (this book was very helpful to me > Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life , how to spice things up...

I felt I had some knowledge I could offer on a forum like this... a lot better than gazing at porn sites while he was at work (it was a temptation!)..

It was a WILD time.. I remember thinking.. if I was a MAN acting like this.. no woman would have put up with me !@# I became rather aggressive ....he'd joke I was raping him.. Yeah.. it was bad.. but it was Goood too!! and thank god for that little blue pill ! We'll be laughing about this someday in our rocking chairs...

Because of this crazy experience (a blessing really)... I realized how much I hurt my husband back when I just didn't "get it".. I was always fulfilled/ satisfied.... he wanted more... he wasn't one to push or complain (he should have!) .... but still that didn't make it any easier... let's say.. he's a lot better at putting himself down over me... it's a "live & learn" here and a vow to never deny or take for granted the gift of intimacy we share..
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post #40 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 06:31 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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A marriage is not a contract. A marriage is a promise. A contract is a legal business document, enforceable by law, and that is made in exchange for something of economic value. A promise comes from the heart and does not involve economic compensation.

Unfortunately, marriage is a promise most people make when they are young and quite literally drunk in the neuro-chemicals of infatuation and love and lust (yes, there are actually a few books you can read on the amazing brain chemistry of love). Gullible love birds buying into the absurdly false expectations of the modern day marriage. Not understanding it is all a clever rouse setup by Mother Nature. It is designed to get worry free young people to take on the unthinkable responsibilities to have and raise children. One of nature's most incredible tricks! And most people fall for it (thank God, otherwise we wouldn't be here). And will continue to do so for a very long time.

But, like other promises we make, at some point many realize the marital promise was simply not realistic. Just like that promise to lose 20 lbs by the time of the HS reunion. Despite our best intentions things just can't happen for most. The reason being that -in some ways- these promises go against our very nature. Research has clearly shown the neuro-chemicals of love, infatuation, and lust do change quite dramatically over time. Not only that, but we change, our partners change, and the world changes. And we live much longer. Some people stick to the promise even when it turns into a cruel punishment. Some just quit. Others revisit the promise. And, as the smart animals we are, we will eventually redefine the norms and expectations of marriages so that we do not set ourselves up for failure from the very beginning.
If you married because of neuro-chemicals of infatuation, then you made a very unwise choice. By the way I don't accept that neuro-chemicals of infatuation describes love, it very much does describes lust. Unfortunately like many things in this age we live in, what was once described lust had been adapted and corrupted to mean love. Mostly I think because it is easy, and people are lazy. However again as with most things in our instant gratifications society these are transient things that people are not wise enough to understand don't realize won't last. I think that is because most people have been lied to. We are a very shallow society right now. There are so many things in our society that seem to work that way. Lust is like the fast food of emotional relationships, but people don't know that. They think it is Tavern on the Green, as with most of the celebrations of our baser instincts now a days. An example as it relates to music would be a hip hop song that uses a funky sample, but then you hear the original song and you are blown away how it almost away better (at least for me). Basic instincts are easy and don't require work. It's always about how it makes me feel. That is very much not what marriage is about or why you get into it. You should only marry to give, not to get. The problem is not the institution of marriage it's the people.

Love is not what you describe but good lust can turn into love. If you have never had it then you won't understand. Love is getting up at 4 in the morning every day to work for your family when you just want to go fishing. Love is washing your sick husband who is dying every day and thinking to yourself how am I going to live without this man in my life. It is very real and it is the most visible element of the supernatural in this world, it really makes no sense. There is the reason why many religions describe God as love. True love is noble. Also when you have such love, marriage really isn't as hard as you make it out to be. Maybe you have this outlook because you never been truly in love.

Finally a marriage is not like a date, it's like a career. It involves every part of you and should be tackled like one does when they study to be a philosopher or one who trains to be an Olympic athlete. The great thing is you do it all with someone else. This gives it great meaning an purpose, it gives your life great meaning an purpose. It gives it a closeness and bond that you can't get with anyone else in your life. Again it is a profoundly magical and almost supernatural thing. No offense but I don't think a person who thinks of it like you do can understand that. To understand this you have to expand your mind, have a deeper level of thinking about life and interpersonal relationships than the paragraph you wrote.

When you both think of it that way who gives a sh!t if it doesn't make you all warm and fuzzy all the time.


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post #41 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 06:55 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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Love is getting up at 4 in the morning every day to work for your family when you just want to go fishing. Love is washing your sick husband who is dying every day and thinking to yourself how am I going to live without this man in my life. It is very really and it is the most visible element of the supernatural in this world, it really makes no sense. There is the reason why many religions describe God as love. True love is noble. Also when you have such love, marriage really isn't as hard as you make it out to be. Maybe you have this outlook because you never been truly in love.

Finally a marriage is not like a date, it's like a career. It involves every part of you and should be tackled like one does when they study to be a philosopher or one who trains to be an Olympic athlete. The great thing is you do it all with someone else. This gives it great meaning an purpose, it gives your life great meaning an purpose. It gives it a closeness and bond that you can't get with anyone else in your life. Again it is a profoundly magical and almost supernatural thing. No offense but I don't think a person who thinks of it like you do can understand that. To understand this you have to expand your mind, have a deeper level of thinking about life and interpersonal relationships than the paragraph you wrote.
THIS ^^ Beautiful .....

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post #42 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 07:00 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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THIS ^^ Beautiful .....

It would be better if I was better a proof-reading.

That was supposed to read, very real.
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post #43 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 07:32 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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Sure there is the Unrealistic in Romance.... the characters are always model , one is always available, like they fell out of the sky, no baggage, a crazy ex that screwed them up a bit.....then the man is always loaded, he may own a castle or something... Personally...I'd like to see a few "Blue collar" romances now & then... ..Though once it gets under way.. the mounting feelings, whatever challenge they face ..leading up to falling in love, the emotional climax...I love it !
I always thought it would be fun to see a movie about the poor sap boyfriend who was dumped by the silly idealistic woman who runs off the loser who has no prospects but who she spilled coffee on during rush hour. The guy she runs into who just happens to look like Bradly Cooper, and is a house painter but really wants to be a painter, painter. It's her love is that one last missing piece that allows him to be a painter. Yeah not the Bradly Cooper guy.

I want the movie about the poor sap who is the safe doctor who she has been dating for a year who she dumps for the exciting arty guy.

This guy - the secondary classically handsome but not overwhelmingly so, safe character actor. That guy always gets screwed in these movies. I want a movie from that guys point of view, kind of the anti-ephron move. It should have in it at some point the female lead begging to get back with him after finding out her hot exciting arty guy is really hooked on cocaine and secretly banging his nude models that he paints. Doesn't have a job since his one art show and his one sale, but refuses to go back to being a house painter because her love has showed him how HE NEEDS TO TRUE TO HIS ART! Now she supports him. Oh and he recently had coffee spilled on him by Keira Knightley. Ha ha. I want a movie from the James Marsden character in the notebook's point of view.

Or better yet a sequel to the The Bridges of ******* County, where the husband comes home and finds out when they are like 60, and leaves her ass. Then she lives alone and writes to Clint Eastwood but he is busy with some girl 20 years younger. He brings her with him without telling her when he comes to see her. After he leaves her alone again the Clint Eastwood character is basically ripped off by this 20 year old's real bro boyfriend. Now Clint has PTSD and can't leave the house. Now THAT would be a good movie!

Sometimes I am amazed how I can write a big long diatribe on marriage and still be so cynical.

By the way the ultimate shlub character is in this movie. WW2 widowed Janet Leigh leaves her lawyer boyfriend to go with her young son on a train across country to be with Robert Mitchum (whom she has known for about a week) to help him chase his dream of building boats. It's great. You can just imagine the 60 years of hell she is going to have being married to this soon to be sous chef and the 60 years of schadenfreude. I highly recommend it, it is everything I just railed against, all in one move from 1949. Even back then the loser good looking guy was being glamorized.

One more thing, Notebook is one of my top 10 movies. It's a Wonderful life is the best though. God is a Capra fan.

Last edited by sokillme; 11-30-2016 at 07:50 PM.
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post #44 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 07:39 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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It would be better if I was better a proof-reading.

That was supposed to read, very real.
The spirit of it touched me so much .. I got choked up... this part " Love is washing your sick husband who is dying every day and thinking to yourself how am I going to live without this man in my life. It is very real and it is the most visible element of the supernatural in this world "...

Didn't even notice the error (I make 'em all the time)..

That's another thing about love.. when we love, even the flaws of our spouse, we're not crazy about them, might want to hit them over the head sometimes, but it's still them..we love them... if they were taken from us ...we'd give ANYTHING, just to be annoyed in those ways...one last time.. that's how it works..
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post #45 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 07:54 PM
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Re: Meaning of Marriage

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Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
The spirit of it touched me so much .. I got choked up... this part " Love is washing your sick husband who is dying every day and thinking to yourself how am I going to live without this man in my life. It is very real and it is the most visible element of the supernatural in this world "...

Didn't even notice the error (I make 'em all the time)..

That's another thing about love.. when we love, even the flaws of our spouse, we're not crazy about them, might want to hit them over the head sometimes, but it's still them..we love them... if they were taken from us ...we'd give ANYTHING, just to be annoyed in those ways...one last time.. that's how it works..
Yep that is why I think it is supernatural, and why I believe God is love, precisely because it makes absolutely no sense. My wife is cranky and feisty and part of me really loves her for it. She can be as soft as a flower peddle and as stubborn as a rock, it's wonderful. Sounds like you and I have good marriages for the most part. It's easy to defend if you have one.
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