My wife and I had this same debate...although there was no compromise. When we first got married we made very little, she said she would work but lied after we were married that she wanted to be a SAHM. That nearly toppled the marriage. It wasn't a compromise , it was a demand.
The same happened as we debated how big the family should be be. I made very little and she quit her job, I felt that one kid and her going back to work immediately was the only way we could get through this financially. She demanded to have more. We ended up having three kids, she lied about being on birth control through each pregnancy. During this time I lost my job a couple of times and there were times there was nothing coming in. It was scary, we almost lost the house several times. She didn't care, all that mattered was that she got her way, even at the expense of financial collapse. I constantly had to field calls from bill collectors and collection agencies.
I see the OP's situation as similar to mine. I think it was very selfish for the OP's wife to pretty much demand a larger family than the OP could afford. Unfortunately money does come into these conversations and must be a consideration. I don't know why some women just don't get this. It's more important for them to have their way than the financial stability of the household.
"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
Last edited by jb02157; 04-12-2017 at 11:55 AM.