Defining long term success - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 03:36 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
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Re: Defining long term success

I can count our big fights on one hand. We had a few monkey wrenches thrown at us like my wife falling ill on our wedding night and being confined to bed for a little more than a year. No sex and no money. Had to quit college for a full time job instead of pursuing my passion. Then my wife came out as bisexual and said all she does is fantasize about women but did not want to cheat on me. We also relocated 13 times and I was gone for months at a time overseas on business. My wife has decorated 9 homes we had lived in. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

We recently celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary. My wife got better and after pursuing other professions, very successfully I might add, I ended up in IT which was my goal since I was a teen. My wife got me and her girlfriend together to see if we were compatible in bed. We were and then my wife joined us. Our girlfriend moved in with us and was in our life for 30 years. It was a great life without even an argument due to our lifestyle. We had great fun, happiness, love and a fantastic sex life that I never dreamed possible for me. I made a very good living which enabled us to live a lifestyle that was beyond our dreams growing up very poor.

So we both had the love of two people, great sex because three provides more things to do than two, a lifestyle that enabled us to indulge our wants without worrying about paying bills. We lived large and did not deny ourselves anything within our grasp. I am a corporate officer in charge of a national network, did program and design software plus became one of two worldwide experts in one of my professions which greatly increased my income. Now I work at home 3-4 days a week and make my own schedule. We are semi retired and I will retire slowly over the next few years because I love my job and most times I have nothing to do other than to be available for a salary and 25% of the net profits.

We did well despite our backgrounds and initial problems. I met my wife on a train, stalked her to her house and 3 weeks later we were engaged and then married within 9 months. We had $500 between us and I was going to college on a scholarship which I had to abandon when I joined the workforce but it turned out well. I made more money in my former profession than I do now. My wife and I still love each other, maybe more, from the time we fell in love with each other at first site. I even told my friend that I was going to marry her the day after I saw her. He thought I was kidding because I was voted most likely to divorce first due to my habit of having a new girlfriend ever two weeks.

So I feel we are a success in our marriage as well as our personal lives. We are no longer with our girlfriend, but the plan was for her to move here near us with her husband but fate and losing all their money in the stock market, got in the way and although she offered, we did not want her to leave her husband for us. He is a doctor and a very nice guy that we have socialized with for many years. Yes, people like us do exist if you know where to look and we can have great marriages and lives when the right combination of people come together. We basically were in an ethical non monogamous marriage, mostly a poly triad, but have had periods of monogamy and/or being poly fidelitous. We have been monogamous for the last 6 years because of our age and medical issues. We do miss our old life but we are enjoying our new life more and more, except for the mountain of prescription pills and multiplying medical problems. I can die today and have no regrets. We both did everything we ever wanted to do and more. I have been to 21 countries, experienced combat, rubbed shoulders with rich and powerful people and had a very happy fulfilling life and marriage. We are more than successful. We are uber successful.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 03:49 PM
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Re: Defining long term success

Great question! If I can look back on our marriage at the end of my life and say that we have no major regrets, I'd consider that very successful. I can tell you now (after 15 years) that if I had to do it over again, I would. We love and care deeply for each other, and we both feel we are giving our children a great example of a healthy marriage. This last one is SO important to me as I did not feel I had that growing up.
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