16 years of solid +3 years of test

Thruhellandback · 01-10-2012, 01:17 AM

19 years in total now.

Even in the darkest he was my best friend. I knew he had my back. Even if he hated me he would never let me down.

Can't say that I was the same to him. I hurt him in the worst way. It's a miracle we got through it but we did. I am blessed with a goal orientated and determined husband for a best friend.

In great part, it was due to his determination. He bought books and read and read and read then shared and talked and talked like we have never talked before. Some of it went no where, but alot of it cleared the air. It was done with respect toward both of our dignities and we felt that each others opinion and needs were RESPECTED-HEARD-HONORED by the other.

Most of all, we have both learned humility. To honestly recognise and acknowledge how we contributed to the success or failures within our marriage.

I truly cherish him. I feel very fortunate to have him. I don't really know why he still wants me in his life but here I am. My monsters say that I don't deserve a second chance, I think he deserves someone better, but I know that I will never make the same mistakes again.

Alphan · 02-23-2012, 04:27 AM

This is so encouraging. You are really blessed with a husband. Not many are like him. Bearing with you, taking time to think and reading books to get a solution are a great thing. That is what saved your marriage. Not because you are both perfect but because you love, respect,forgiveness, understanding and listen to what the other has to say. Making wrongs to be rights and a complete change for the better is also a great go. That's actually the way to a happy and lasting marriage.

Goldmember357 · 02-23-2012, 11:32 PM

you get what you put in work for and what you feel you deserve it does not come to you by magic. If you feel he deserves someone better than perhaps he does.

Anyhow best of luck

Goldmember357 · 02-23-2012, 11:33 PM

Its great you consider him your best friend so many people cant consider there supposed loved one there best friend. Which blows my mind however than again it really does not seeing the state of the world.

bandit.45 · 02-23-2012, 11:48 PM

I think I know what you're saying. But if I may ask, what did you do?
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getolife · 04-10-2012, 01:41 PM

If he deserves someone better, you can do something about that. Be someone better. Forgive yourself and go on to be the best person you can for him and for yourself.

Thruhellandback · 01-07-2013, 01:31 AM

Thank you for that getolife.
Yes I am. Depression has dogged me faithfully for the last year and I am struggling through it. The depression is not just because of my infidelity but I suffer from chronic back pain due to a crappy disk in my lower back. We also moved last summer and I gave up a job I loved to do so. My therapist says it's no wonder I'm depressed and it happens to alot of people in my situation. So I have become a better person. We are really close now. I see actual joy in his eyes when he walks in the door from work. I surprise him with cozy meals on the terrace, with his favourite recipes, we drink ****tails together by the fire and talk, go camping in the desert and go dune bashing. The best is I really have been starting to live without the constant reminders of my betrayal and am living in this wonderful moment. He is my rock, I am his biggest fan. and we never forget to connect emotionally to each other every day even in the smallest way.