She isn't using food to cope with an issue per se, it's honestly a fact of laziness. She's a very complacent person when it comes to life in general, she hates having to put effort into anything and is the best excuse maker I may have ever met. I am EXTREMELY good to her, so I honestly feel like she has no motivation or urgency to correct the problem because, well, she's getting everything she wants already and assumes I'm happy too because I'm still very affectionate. Even though we've talked, argued, fought, screamed, yelled and cried about the issue for years, the best results I've gotten is she finally improved her diet and start doing a little "work out" video here and there, usually conveniently before I get home from work.
Knowing her, the instant she gets her heart rate up, she stops and says she "worked out". I try to jog with her and she makes it two blocks and basically gives up. Like I said, I'm trying not to focus on these details and am having faith she'll get there, but need help not being so resentful about it.
My fitness is good. I'm in shape, average build, constantly flirted with on the bus (seriously), very healthy in general. I also maintain my appearance too, I stay trimmed, wear nice clothes, I carry myself tall and proud, etc.. One thing that drives me nuts is how often she will be behind me and start going "Mmm you have the nicest man butt I've ever seen." and all I can think of is "Well gee how does that feel to be attracted to your spouse?" as I look at her extremely flabby, wide, tree-trunk legs, wishing I could return the compliment. I never lie, I will not give a compliment her if it's a lie, so I don't give any false sense that she's looking good. I compliment her personality and other features that are attractive, but won't be all like "You too babe" if it's simply not true.