I don’t want to sound like I’m blowing sunshine at anybody when I write these types of things, but at the same time, I think things like this are important to us in long term relationships. Words are important to my wife. Sincerity is important to me (and I’m sure to her as well). It’s easy when you’ve been married for a while, and get busy with the practical concerns of life to forget to communicate nice, sincere, loving things to your partner, even though you may actually still think them. I think it is important to take time and say the nice things to your partner – it means a lot to him/her.
I like to feed my wife’s security, comfort and sense of well-being. My philosophy is that I want to fill her up to overflowing so she can overflow onto me. I know when she is overflowing, she will always want to give back, so when I find myself feeling a bit needy, I usually stop and examine it, and realize I have not been filling her up. Instead of making demands, I make an effort to fill her to overflowing. If she doesn’t catch my needs and I know she is happy, I will talk gently about how I’ve been feeling … if I’ve filled her up and she didn’t respond, then it’s usually because she didn’t know what I needed, but she’s willing and even eager if I’ve filled her up.
I wanted to post a few of the things that I like to tell my wife. In some of these, context is important, but if I give the context of every one here, the words will be lost. I’ll give a few important contexts, and if you want to know the others, just ask. These things are a part of how I try to feed her needs and fill her. Words aren’t all of it of course, but they are important to her.
Please add things you like to tell your wife below this. (Ladies, I’ll start another thread on things I like to hear from my wife in a day or two. On this one, it would be nice if we just had a chance to tell you what we like to say to you.) These are not sexual – maybe we can do that one in another thread.
I love you.
I thought about you when I was working today. (Something must follow this. You must tell what nice things you really thought about her.)
I like touching you.
I like your smell.
You make me so comfortable.
When I know everything is okay with you, I’m ready to take on whatever the day can throw at me.
How was your day? (When saying this, put your emotions and problem solving skills in neutral and just listen attentively)
No, it doesn’t make you look fat. There is nothing in that closet that could possibly make you look fat.
Ooh, you look VERY good naked. (VERY context sensitive here … but you see your wife at the times when this is appropriate. She appreciates this one a lot, even if she does giggle and act embarrassed sometimes … other times, she’s anything but embarrassed … )
Your body is perfect. (go on to describe in detail what is appealing … she probably wants to hear it if she has time)
Honey, don’t worry about it, you couldn’t run me off if you wanted to.
I can’t imagine life without you. I don’t even want to try to imagine it.
I love it when you smile.
I like making you happy.
You know, it’s so nice to hear you singing in the house.
Being seen with you improves my image.
Because I’m proud of you!
I’m much more worried about someone taking you from me than I am that someone will be interested in me.
You know, you do SUCH a good job with this!
I’m always proud of this house because you make it a home for me, and an absolute showcase for anyone who comes over to visit us.
You’re so talented at this!
You are my absolute favorite cook. (Because she loves to cook and takes a lot of pride in it. This wouldn’t work if I treated her like my little housekeeper.)
I’d be completely lost trying to manage our household. I’m glad you’re so good at it. (VERY true in our case. I’m just letting her know how much I appreciate it.)
You’re my best friend.
You’re my best buddy.
You're the best teammate anyone could possibly hope for.
You are the girl of my dreams.
Growing up, I always dreamed it would be good to be together with the one I love. Now, you've made it even better than I dreamed.
Sit down for a few minutes. I'll massage your feet for you.
Let me work that tension out of your shoulders for you.
Your hair looks very nice today.
Where would you like to eat this weekend?
You're a wonderful mother! I hope our kids appreciate just how wonderful.
And there are some funny ones, like when she asks me in a humorous moment why I like her, and I respond by quoting an old cartoon in the cartoon voice: "Because y’alls purdy, and you got a purdy dress, and purdy eyes, and because y’alls that there little ole rabbit critter I been aimin’ to plug ..." She'll quote it with me now when I start it
And despite the fact that she loves to cook, sometimes it’s nice for her to hear me say:
“Relax. I’ll cook breakfast this morning.”
Feel free to add yours. I’m sure this isn’t all inclusive even for me. I’ll add more below as I think of them.