My Long-term Happy Re-Marriage
My name is Yehuda and I am an Israeli. Naomi and I have been spouses for the last two decades. For both of us it is a second marriage, after a short period of being divorced from our former mates.
Our success as a couple has many layers and we define it by its being alive and renewing.
Both of us initiated our divorces as we felt during two long first marriages that they were doomed and devoid of friendship and real care and human warmth. Both of us were determined to give ourselves a new and better chance of finding a soul mate. Very soon after meeting through a mutual dear friend we realized we have a lot in common – values, awareness and personal growth, classical music, nature, reading, helping people. We fell in love in no time and started living together in Naomi's home just 6 weeks after we met.
We define our marriage a success because we feel free to discuss everything; there are no taboo subjects in our relationship. Neither of us feels ashamed or guilty about sex, money, children and now grandchildren. We love spending time together in the kitchen, walking in the park, visiting each other's family. Naomi's children accepted me gladly into their family as I did not attempt to change the habits and norms at their home which gradually became my home too.
Also both of us considered our friendship as one of the most important elements of our lives and were committed to make it work and thrive. We saw ourselves as very lucky to have found our beloved so quickly – only a few months after separating from our former respective spouses.
Of course we had some difficulties especially in the first years, as our finances were really tight. I had to support two children from my first marriage. Naomi had to deal with debts her former husband left her with. But thanks to both our parents' support and our determination to overcome those difficulties, we succeeded.
What helped our marriage thrive over time are the commitment, the daily friendship, strong and mutual physical attraction and pleasure, mutual interests, personal flexibility and maturity, and very high interpersonal abilities – to talk, to listen, to empathize and to support.