Long Term Success in MarriageIf you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.
My husband travels for work a lot. He always brings me a gift home. It's normally chocolate. We talk via Facetime for hours while he's away. He always makes plans for us to do fun things together like riding our bikes to the park or checking out new restaurants. Small things make me happy.
Wow,
Just imagine I missed this thread all of last year....
Sandc , you owe me big time brother!
Anyway, to answer the original question,
We do lots of stuff, restaurants , gifts, travel everything.
But I do think the things that cost nothing is what we appreciate most.
I love the smell of her skin when she awakes. I usually wake long before her and start my day.
When its time to wake her, I usually crall back into bed and shower her with kisses all over. I just absolutely love how her skin smells at that time of the day.
Sometimes she would pull the covers over both of us and we just squeeze each other and show affection. Not really sexual but just loving.
She says it gives her " butterflies " in her stomach and she feels like a " little girl."
Sometimes it might lead to a good dose of morning sex, but most times its just exploring each other's skin and face and exchanging positive feelings to start the day right.
I look forward to doing it to her, and she looks forward to receiving that type of loving attention.
I am another one who missed this thread. In fact, I thought it was new until I looked at the dates! I love hearing all of these great stories, especially with all of the negative here.
First of all, I just ordered the book "Kosher Adultery." Too bad it is not on Kindle. We do some of the things that have been mentioned already. We also make romantic trips a high priority. We get away to a night in a B&B often and take an anniversary trip to a beach location each year.
If you are new here, we got married at 16 & 17 (she was pregnant) and we will celebrate 41 years this summer...hopefully at a resort in the Riviera Maya!!!!
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
I've done big, extravagant things that were mildly successful (In terms of making her happy) and tiny, spur of the moment things that were hugely successful.
Timing is crucial. Don't let opportunities to show your love pass you by....
It's the day to day effort on clear communication for us.
But you know we're always playmates. We hide on each other relentlessly and play pranks. I just got her two days ago with her own trick. Leave the kitchen light off but turn the light on in the bathroom. You have to pass through the kitchen to get to the bathroom.
So with the light on in the bathroom she's pretty sure you are in there. But you are crouched down hiding behind the entrance to the kitchen instead.
You don't need to jump out at them and say "boo!" It's better to say in a light voice "honey I dropped a quarter here... have you seen it" You'll be fending off blows while you are feigning surprise she would be startled.
Today I really put the effort into sneaking up to her while she went to the bathroom and my son ruined the whole thing by passing me and going into the bathroom saying to mommy "shhhh! We're hiding on mommy..." But you still get credit for the effort.
Yesterday I had an errand to do outside the house so when I got about a block away I called on the cell phone to "warn" her that one of my ex-lovers was coming over to tell her about the daughter I never confessed existed. No honey, seriously she should be over there any second now... So she's looking out the window, it's dark, but she can see it's our car so she pretended to be sincerely surprised and upset. The old double-cross turn the tables routine on me. She said she was going to throw up in the bathroom, but was hiding behind the door when I came in.
Pretty much endless nonsense around here. One time she beat me to my tree stand that I hunt from. Scared the daylights out of me. I had forgotten my lunch so she figured why not pull a stunt at the same time she was doing me this favor. That tree stand is almost a mile off and up some really rugged terrain. To beat me there without me seeing her was pretty amazing. I never looked up, so just as I am reaching for the first hand-hold I hear "hi honey!"
There are so many threads here about failing marriages I wanted to start one for the (apparently few) marriages that actually work. I'd like to hear from folks what they do to make their marriages special and what they do to keep it exciting. There may a few of these threads already but what's one more?
Here's what we did last night to make our marriage wonderful. I arranged everything in advance. I approached this as if I were planning a date, not taking my wife out. I made reservations for a really nice downtown restaurant. I booked a nice hotel room. I checked in to the hotel room earlier in the day and got everything set up. I never told her what was planned just told her to plan to go out on a date.
I took her to dinner. Ordered her a ****tail (she rarely drinks but likes to socially.) We had a great dinner and a nice long talk about everything you can imagine. Then I took her dancing which we haven't done for years. It was amazing to see the tension and years just melt off her as she danced. At a point when the music changed and wasn't really our style I asked her if she wanted to go someplace else. We drove to the hotel. She was only mildly surprised that I took her to a hotel next. We got to the room and started making out. I undressed her as we made out, then she undressed me. The room had a big closet door that was all mirror. When we opened the door just right we could see ourselves on the bed. My wife LOVED this! That mirror facilitated a couple of different fantasies of ours.
After we were sated we showered and I drove her home. I stopped in the driveway and made out with her again before I pulled into the garage. I thanked her for a wonderful evening and told her I hoped I could see her again some time.
Later after we had finished all the nightly rituals and were crawling into bed I playfully asked how she had enjoyed her night out. (Asking as if I had stayed home with the kids) She smiled and told me that she had fun, had dinner with a friend. She then told me that she didn't want to keep any secrets from me and told me about "the man" she had dinner with, danced with, and everything she and he (me) did at the hotel.
So, last night my wife had an affair... with me. I had an affair... with her. God I love that woman.
you did something special to pull you both out of every day routine!! Its great! I admire men like you!
How do I tell my H that such moments are essential especially when we have kids!? He works and works! He gets stressed out, and we fight because of small things....
I have just spent 5 weeks with my husband on holiday from work, we have been camping with our teens for a few days with family to an amazing private beach. Our site was far enough from everyone and our kids for some very fun times, I love siesta's best hot sweaty sex and a swim in the ocean after bliss. We have been to the movies on a couple of occasions. One day for no particular reason we decided to take a drive, 8 hours later we were in Wellington in our favourite hotel, ordering room service. I love hotel sex, no worrying that the kids will hear or that someone will phone. The next day we started to head home we only got 2 hours down the road before we stopped again, the sign said they had a spa bath after all My daughter says we're gross and unnatural, at our age apparently we shouldn't kiss or cuddle. Lol Like I would ever give up loving this man.
If you had asked me 5 years ago whether the last 5 weeks of my life were possible I would have told you to get the f#$@ out of here. I told my husband I was going to leave him, he asked me to give him another chance, against my better judgement (and boy did I let him know what a favour I was doing him <cringe>) we did a weekend course not about marriage counselling but about living your life with integrity and honesty. We took it to heart, we told everything and I mean everything. I have never done something so hard and so challenging in my life. It has left us free to put the bs from our pasts behind us and start fresh. And we did.
I have a new women, a new marriage, and a completely different spouse from the one I met 23 years ago.
Granted most of that women is still there...the one I met 23 years ago, the new man I have become has complimented this new women and vise vesuve, as we both change for the better as individuals...we are complimenting each other as a couple...even after 20 years of hell, while spending that time bringing out the worst in each other.
I can't imagine slapping her around again, and I know she can't imagine sleeping with strange again. We are two differnet poeple these days.
I read your story with my mouth open. I didn't realize it till I was done for a minute. I hope you still do this kind of stuff. It is the stuff of legend. I know it's an old thread, but I wasn't ready till now to read it. My heart is pounding. Thank you for sharing.
We used to go kayaking together for hours on Sunday mornings.
We would kyak out into the sea for miles . It was scary for her because she cannot swim , but just the thought of being out so far from shore would excite her![ even though I tried numerous times to teach her, she's afraid of deep water.] At one time we even went across to a little uninhabited islet a good distance offshore and spent some time on it climbing the rocks to the top and viewing the coastline from that angle. It was exciting for both of us , but mostly for her because she is very afraid of deep water and she had never done anything like that before.
I also taught her how to ride a bike.
We used to go rent these mountain bikes very early in the morning and ride through hiking trails for hours.
Those were lots of fun time together....
Reading this thread brings back good memories, I think my wife and I need to do these things again!
The romance can begin to fade as the flowers, cards, letters and romantic gestures begin to slow down. We may find ourselves having fun less often and sex less frequently. We may feel a decline in the amount of excitement.
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Re: How we make our marriage wonderful 
We talk via Facetime for hours while he's away. He always makes plans for us to do fun things together like riding our bikes to the park or checking out new restaurants. Small things make me happy.
My daughter says we're gross and unnatural, at our age apparently we shouldn't kiss or cuddle. Lol Like I would ever give up loving this man. 
