Long Term Success in MarriageIf you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.
Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well.
So in talking to a bunch of married couples who are all involved in successful marriages, and in reading and listening to what a lot of the so called marriage experts are saying, it all seems to point to...........match ups. Because if you are not a good match no matter how hard you try you're just not gonna ever get that square peg into a round hole.
Re: Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well.
It would make sense that two people need to be a good match, but it's often confusing as to the critical elements that must be a good match. It is said that opposites can sometimes attract.
In my case, I thought my x wife and I matched well. We just seemed cut from the same cloth; however, we didn't make it.
My husband and I are good examples of a perfect matched couple! I know there are a few others on here who feel the same about their spouse!
I didn't realize how well matched we were until a few years into our marriage. Life was so busy with young kids, you tend not to sit back and enjoy each other.
I would never find anyone as compatible as my husband is to me. It was fate and by the grace of God that we are together now. I will forever treasure our marriage and count my blessings everyday that I'm alive.
Every relationship and marriage is unique in its own way. Both my husband and I have mutual feelings for one another too, we are both deeply in love and have been for 13 year, married 12. I feel like our honeymoon phase never ended and I don't see it ever ending in the future.
Re: Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well.
I've heard it said by a few couples who have been married for 20 years or more that you can have a calm/laid back person marry a calm/laid back person, a calm/laid back person marry a high strung/high energy person and it still work; buuuuut if you have a high strung/high energy person marry a high strung/high energy person it's a recipe for DISASTER and usually never works. This is who my wife and I are and we have made it work for 7 years so far but the last 3 have been very very rough, and we are to the point where we need some serious counseling.
I've heard it said by a few couples who have been married for 20 years or more that you can have a calm/laid back person marry a calm/laid back person, a calm/laid back person marry a high strung/high energy person and it still work; buuuuut if you have a high strung/high energy person marry a high strung/high energy person it's a recipe for DISASTER and usually never works. This is who my wife and I are and we have made it work for 7 years so far but the last 3 have been very very rough, and we are to the point where we need some serious counseling.
Both my husband have a laid back personality. However, he is more laid back then I most days. Thanks to PMS and chronic pain, I have my bad days!
Re: Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well.
Interesting post. I come in here a lot to browse and get tips. Trying to make my marriage last forever till death like my parents did. My husband is hyper/laidback and I am highstrung/controlling... we are polar opposites in many ways, he adds the humor, I add the seriousness. I think for us in a lot of ways it works, however, at the same time, I recently saw with a friendship he struck up with a female, he was attracted to her hyper/laidback humor. But then he told me that he loves my qualities more, they are what keep our family together. But then we were trying to find things we have in common, boy that was a trick. The things we liked when we were younger, are totally different and we spent many years taking care of my ailing parents... among other family members... so now we are reconnecting and finding new things to enjoy. Any tips from the veterans out there on our personality types? It's interesting because he says a lot, he isn't into reading, politics, etc... the very things that I talk with my friends and family about... so he feels left out of those types of conversations, but I have noticed him watching the news more to be aware and he will ask questions of something he saw. And I have tried to make sure to play his silly video games with him sometimes. We are in our 30s if that helps.
Re: Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well.
All I know is that you can't have two people doing this back and forth all the time or it's not gonna turn out well, which is what is starting to happen in our marriage.
Re: Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesherman
Yep, totally agree. The two most important elements of a successful marriage are picking the right person for you, and meeting each other's needs.
Took the words right out of my fingers. Selecting someone who is shares all the important things.. and having all the important things for them... is in my opinion a key factor in marital success. Not the only factor, and not impossible to have a successful marriage without, but they go together like "good harvest" and "lots of gentle rain this growing season"
The worst thing a person can do is 'settle' for someone when they know that person is missing something or they don't agree on something truly important, yet some times people think that's the best they can do (I know I did.. young and stuuuupid)
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Marriages that match up well & DON'T match up well. 
