I'm not married yet and I don't think that I will be in the near future because I am so afraid of getting involved in a relationship. The thought of getting hurt and devastated of a broken heart terrifies me a lot.
Can I ask WHY you feel this way...has your heart been broken in the past?.... have you seen loved one's hearts broken & shattered?
I have been the Hopeless Romantic Type since I was probably 10 yrs old, always liked boys, even in elementary school... had a # of puppy love boyfriends, but as I got older...... I was very serious about wanting to get serious... I wanted that 1 special boyfriend to fill my days.. Hanging out with the girls, for me, was pretty boring.
So many young people seem like they just want to have FUN, live a little crazy, on the edge...change BF's & GF's like they do their shoes.... I was never like this... I had specific dreams and plans, I wanted a good guy who genuinelly cared about ME...cared about
US , I wanted a Best friend, and someday a family to share together. IN this way, I would never "settle"... a man had to be on the same page, having the same dreams ....or I just knew...we'd be facing some trouble ahead. We all need to be matched well. Here is a thread I did to test that Matching ....
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-t...ility-b4-vows-beyond-marital-harmony-joy.html
You sound very "sensitive" Miranda, you don't want to be burned. Who does! I was very sensitive too, I never built up a hard shell though.... I can not relate to that -whereas many in their youth seem to DO...in order to "protect" themselves from many breakups... It helps to find a sensitive man, one who won't mistreat you, someone with some maturity, knows what they want in life, isn't swayed by the wind, has responsibility in thier lives & can communicate honesty.
I know you are thinking...where do you find that ! Answer...not in a bad boy -or someone who hangs in bars!
Because of how I seen my Mother "used" by men, I vowed at a very young age, I would never allow this... this is what would have devestated & shattered ME... It never made me fear men or relationships though...I was very willing to respond to boys liking me....
This is how I protected myself....
I realized I had the POWER to choose how much I will give of myself...to a guy....this was MY TESTING of what was in his heart .....Somehow this took the devestation sting out of a relationship not lasting...I would share who I was emotionally (this always came pretty easy to me).... but if he was not willing to wait for the physical .... till I was ready...not pushing making me feel like I was weird but respecting me, letting me know he valued ME above all ......that I was worth the wait....I would know he was not that "into me", it was not about love but more LUST.....fleeting....guys being guys, I am replacable....this is what I would tell myself. This was how I weeded them out.. but I was alot younger than you! I did a thread on what I will teach my daughter in respect to these very very important things here...
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family...-sex-relation-love-her-emotions-her-life.html
So in my head....until I knew that I knew that I knew ....that HE is my Prince...He loves me
for me, even with my imperfections, vulnerabilites, craziness, bad days....until then ,access to my secret places was off limits. I had a few guys who didn't want to stick around, but the pain was so much lessor ..and I would tell myself.......They were not the one! I still met mine very young - at 15. He was 18.
What would devestate YOU MirandaS ?? if that is your real picture, you have a very beautiful smiling face.
why I want to ask you, people who are in a long term success in marriage, how did you know that you found the right one? What process did you go through to be able to say that you are ready whatever it takes?
This is my answer:
When a guy treats you like a Treasure, like you are the sun coming up in His morning, when he wants to be with you, spend time with you, listen to you, when he talks about the future & treats you like you are a part of it, caring
as much about how you feel.....isn't this what we all crave?
And of course you need to be "into him"- have that physical attraction going on as well. And give it TIME...