07-27-2012, 06:16 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
| | Re: I feel trapped
If you're 62, you should be collecting Social Security(assuming you're in the US?). Doesn't matter if you've never worked, you can collect from your husband's eligibility. If your income is limited, speak to Social Services about your eligibility for assistance in housing and utilities. My grandmother spent the last ... gosh .. 12-14 years of her life living in a nice high rise. It wasn't a nursing home or assisted living, but an actual small apartment. Rent was determined by her SS income. My nearly 80YO mother also gets assistance for her rent and utilities, though she isn't living in an elder-oriented building.
I'd also see a lawyer (again, low income services might be able to help you with that) about your rights to property and possible support.
Approach your husband through a position of strength and knowledge. If you do qualify for assistance, you can tell him "yanno, I could be living (THIS) kind of life if I chose to leave you." If he tells you to go ahead, inform him that you would also have property rights to your home. You could possibly force a sale and be able to say "my new apartment is going to be furnished nicely with all new furniture, paid for by my half of this house."
Even if leaving is something you don't want to do, arm yourself to bluff him. These men ....::shakes head::: .... damn. They think because a woman has put up with years of their crap, they can keep dispensing it and the woman will just take it. He needs his ass kicked. The boot will land a lot harder if you can show you have ammunition to back it up. Who knows .. you may force him to take another look at your life. Even if you don't live together as a couple, perhaps counseling (for the both of you) can allow you to create an amicable, amenable co-housing relationship.
Blessings and good luck.