Re: Reconciliation after separation? Is it possible?
Well, I was less than 2 weeks away from divorce before I called it off.
Also suffered a scary as hell panic attack that could've killed me, but that is another story...
The point is, I was driving to divorce. In my mind, I would either divorce, or kill myself trying. But I stopped it. So who is to say it can't happen for you?
Now, you give us all the reasons, for why you were the way you were. You expected him to understand, you needed to be there for your kids, your career, so where did he rate on your priorities? Dead last? Because that is probably where he felt like he rated.
And now, you need him. Now you want him. Well, I'll be brutally honest here. If I was in his shoes, here is what I am thinking: "She only needs me now because she is at risk of losing me. Once I am reeled back in, I'll be back to dead last on the priority list."
Now, let's look at your husband. Because we have been looking at you for so long.
Your husband comes from a divorce home. Well, so do I! Got very little love from my home.
So I found it in my wife. Just like your husband found love he was wanting in you.
But then, it gets shut off. And it is a play over of his childhood probably. Start out with love, then lose it. Just like his parents probably loved him when they had him but it slowly drifted away from the divorce, your marriage started out with love, then drifted away as you got depressed. And he sufferred that for 3 years.
Now, I am inferring about his life here, so I may be wrong.
You think you feel exhausted, how about your husband? How many of his kisses did you turn away from? His advances you turn down? His complements you shrug off?
Do that, and men won't feel loved. They'll give up on it. And he already has.
I am not trying to sound down, but I have a feeling he has considered this marriage dead, and was just waiting.
You two sound more like room mates than wife/husband. You haven't treated him like a husband for 3 years. So he probably already checked out of your marriage, and is finally leaving.
If you want him back, show him you'll be a wife. You haven't been one to him for the past 3 years. So you gotta work overtime.
Because if you don't fight for him, he'll not reconsider his actions.
When I was divorcing, my wife was fighting tooth and nail. And that is what kept making me rethink my decision to divorce.
Have you showed your husband how much you are willing to fight for him? Or are you just doing the normal wife duties you feel like you are expected to?
Because if you are just doing the normal duties, I'd have already found an apartment.
And I am not wanting to beat you up. I am wanting to show you your situation from your husband's point of view, and make sure you are doing everything you can. Because it sounds to me that you aren't really fighting for your hsuband, but silently hoping he changes his mind.
My wife didn't silently hope it would change. She tried to make it change as much as she could.