Being the alpha - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

User Tag List

  • 1 Post By EleGirl
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-27-2012, 09:57 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 16
Being the alpha

So as my wife and I are trying to repair our marriage of 5 years, we had a little setback yesterday which had us discuss some of our original points for our recent issues.

Coming out of that discussion, I have a clear head again of what I need to do as I realize there are multiple issues still to address.

One of the big things I am trying to work on is being more the alpha in the house. My wife currently feels like she is making most of the decisions and planning of things...which in many cases was true. I did/do a lot of letting her decide. A lot of it had to do with her working less hours and being more home with the kids.

So I really left her alone in making those decisions. I didnt really participate in family things or enjoy things like going to the pool as a family, etc. Lots of confidence issues, etc.

I realize she needs more from me and I want to change my behaviors to do so. She is starting to work more, and my newer job (have had for about 9 months now) is a flexible enough job to where I am not as tired when I come home or as stressed out than I was at my previous jobs. She is working more because the hours she was working were causing us to stress about money month to month.

I know this is only going to make things worse if I do not step right in and pick up slack. I really want this for myself as well. I have been what I have called "napping" on our relationship and it has put a huge strain on our marriage.

How can I go about doing that? I mean it is easy to read a quick article to be more alpha like but are there ways I can start trying to meet these needs of hers. I am excited for each new change I am going through.

s1979j is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-27-2012, 10:35 AM
EleGirl's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 32,986
Re: Being the alpha

Have you looked at the books "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busteres"?

They are not necessarily about being more alpha. But doing the work they lay out could help.

One thing you could do is to take the initiave to plan date nights once every week to two. A couple needs to spend about 15 hours a week doing date like things, just the two of you. So this would go towards the needed time and you making the initiative would fit the alpha bit as well.
EleGirl is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Becoming the Alpha Adex The Men's Clubhouse 988 12-25-2012 11:34 AM
Getting him to feel alpha again diwali123 The Men's Clubhouse 30 08-26-2012 01:29 PM
Alpha or Macho? AFEH The Men's Clubhouse 8 12-21-2011 04:45 PM
Alpha vs Beta Arnold The Men's Clubhouse 41 11-07-2011 11:37 AM
If Being Alpha is so important LFC The Men's Clubhouse 23 06-27-2011 09:38 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome