LemonLime

I need you to explain this..... WHY would you cheat? Why not just tell her what you need? You sound like an ******* if considering cheating even comes to your mind.

flnative

Love, respect and sex. If any of the three are missing then it makes it tough to be a good man....

PooDoo

When a man's needs are not being met, we get all kinds of crazy thoughts. Cheating doesn't sound so crazy when at a low point. I've often thought that my wife should find someone else so at least then she would see how good she's had it - (crazy I know). And about getting your ego stroked - I'd love it! You want a man to get off his a$$ and do something - try it. Nagging (being bossed around/mothered) is not the way to get a man to do anything. My wife was nagging me about taking the Christmas lights down - they are still up (and not because I'm lazy like she thinks).

Bobby5000

I'd put this in a strong want category. You'd like to have someone on your side, and who can provide support. You don't want to mention a problem, knowing your wife would give a friend support and compassion, and spend the next 9 hours hearing criticism and dire predictions. Again, since many women like to verbalize problems, and express their concerns even if negative, you cannot expect the unfettered support you'd like to see.

PooDoo

Sounds like you are letting floors take a priority over your husband. If he's like most men - he's not lazy. He's probably feeling that you care more for the damn floors than you do for him. Your relationship with him should mean more to you than floors. Make him your top priority (give him what he needs) and he will do the floors. I did the same thing to my wife - praising her all the time etc (which did little good) - I tend to need 'words of affirmation' as a love language. I thought she needed the same love that I needed. I was wrong. Your husband is probably wrong as well. We try to give love the way we need love - he probably needs you to say to him what you have been hearing from him - praise and appreciation (and a bit of respect and ego stroking). Sounds like he is trying - you should too. Meet his needs and he will meet yours (doing the floors).

ahhnold

besides sex which is a primary and numero uno need. ----a very close second is APPRECIATION. APPRECIATION. APPRECIATION. APPRECIATION.

Jeff/BC

I need a woman to SEE me... to care about me... for real. It's amazingly hard to find. Pretty much everyone, men and women alike, are just not interested in that sort of a deal.

I want a life partner who I can bank on to have my back and who is strong enough to shoulder the load when I have collapsed under it.

I want someone to think that because something makes me unhappy is sufficient reason in and of itself to move heaven and earth to change it... that my unhappiness is just NOT acceptable in general and especially not acceptable when it's her cause.

I want someone who understands that it doesn't matter if she wants what I want. What matters is that I want it. It also doesn't matter if she understands why I want it.

I want a partner who wants a full contact marriage. I'm big on emotional intimacy... very big. My preferred orbit with my partner is zero distance... mentally, emotionally, and physically. Safety is.. well.. not how I play the love game. I'm more the "go large or go home" sort.

I want a partner who's first instinct is to say, "What can I do to improve this situation not What can he do."

I want a partner who sees a relationship as a team sport not an adversarial competition. I do not believe I can "win" an argument with my wife anymore than if I was playing football I could "win" over my own team mate.

In short, I want a woman who's both able and willing to commit to the relationship as much as I am. Sex isn't on the list only because it's trivial in comparison. If I have the stuff on that list I'm pretty sure I'll be sexually satisfied

I guess I want a woman a lot like Carol

~Jeff

PooDoo

I hope Carol is your W. Great post.