Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 36 (permalink) Old 02-27-2013, 03:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work?

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Originally Posted by Entropy3000 View Post
So how do you have one person being the boss and the children not know?
She still needs my input or advice for just about everything around the house. But yes, eventually they would notice. I don't consider that necessarily bad, but would just prefer to keep it from them because I think it falls into the category of things that children would rather not know.


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Do you make sure when she goes out she carries condoms with her? But then again if she is the boss she could choose to have sex bare back. You have no say in that.

Since you deploy, you are ok with her having sex if she chooses while you are gone. She's the boss. Her choice. Is she required to tell you are is that none of your business?

That is one of the many things we would have to have an understanding on, if she went that route. But she is not an idiot, and wouldn't jeopardize her health like that. Moreover, since I am gone a lot, if she was really inclined that way, it would be easy for her to do it whether she had permission or not.



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Originally Posted by Mavash. View Post
I've read several books on submitting to your husband and even those wives had a say in child rearing and were able to express their wants/desires. The husband even though he is the boss holds his wife in highest esteem and takes great strides to make sure her needs are met.

Your wife however isn't interested in that part.

That's a bit off the mark. She does care about me, and shows it quite often. She has no problem with me expressing my wants and desires, she just wants to be able to veto them whenever she disagrees, and be able to tell me to stop arguing about it whenever she doesn't want to hear any more. But it would not be easy for me to adjust to that, that is for certain.

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post #32 of 36 (permalink) Old 02-27-2013, 01:21 PM
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Re: Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work?

There is no shortage of women who screw around with Jody while the man is away.

But while they rarely cover their tracks this arrangement makes it ok and even expected. The kids will know that uncle Jody is in mommy and daddy's bed.

Wearing a condom is a drag but good for you for having trust in your wife and solid boundaries.

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post #33 of 36 (permalink) Old 02-27-2013, 02:33 PM
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Re: Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work?

I know I'm much younger than most here, but I had to comment. No, I'm not the boss in my marriage, and never want to be. My husband isn't the boss, either. We married believing each other to be equal with the other, not one superior and one inferior. We agreed on our beliefs and boundaries and life expectations, and do our best to come to agreements when we argue or are faced with decisions. Usually our decisions are financial ones, and since that effects us both, we both have a say. If we don't agree(which has only happened twice), I concede to my husbands choice, as he is the sole bread winner of the home.

The idea sounds awful. Horrific, even, for either partner, husband or wife, to have that kind of control over the relationship.

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post #34 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-02-2016, 01:50 PM
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Re: Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work?

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I'm not talking about a marriage with a nagging wife and and a henpecked husband. I'm talking about a relationship where the wife openly says she is the boss, and the husband openly acknowledges it.

My wife of 16 years wants to go this route. We talked about it in the past, and experimented with it for trial periods. It had some real advantages, although it certainly wasn't perfect (I will elaborate later if people want to hear). It was more or less like her treating me like one of her children. But now she wants to go much further and says she wants me to be her "slave". And before anyone thinks this is some kinky leather game with whips and chains, she doesn't mean it like that. She doesn't read kinky erotica, has no interest in BDSM or reading "50 Shades of Gray". She just wants me to obey her all the time. I told her that I can't go to that extreme, at least not at this time.

I was wondering if anyone else here was in a similar situation, and if it worked out for you? And how did it work?
My Wife is definitely the Boss in our marriage, and She calls the shots in our house. I am Her fully subordinate husband, and completely under Her supervision in all areas of our marriage - outside the home and in the home, outside the bedroom and in the bedroom.
I know my place and do as I'm told or I answer to Her, and it has worked wonderfully throughout our 20 year marriage.
She controls the finances, manages the money, gives me an allowance, and if I want any additional money I must ask Her for it and explain myself, and it is then entirely up to Her whether She will grant my request or not.
She makes the decisions, often without consulting me, and when She does give me permission to give my input or opinion it is understood that She will make the final decision, and if we disagree on any thing She will over rule me.
My Wife holds me responsible for all of the domestic chores and household duties - grocery shopping, cooking, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, and the housekeeping, and She holds me accountable to Her for doing my husbandly household duties and housework to Her satisfaction.
She is loving and affectionate as long as I am man enough to know my place and remain Her properly submissive and obedient husband. Although She grants me sexual release and love making, She is totally in control of our sexual relationship and the bedroom, and I am often required to serve Her orally only, with no sexual release permitted by me.
Needless to say, while She is loving and affectionate, She is also a firm-Handed, no nonsense Disciplinarian. If She feels I have misbehaved or displeased Her any way She will not hesitate to take Her hairbrush or paddle to my bare husbandly behind and sternly scold me, then order me to the bedroom and keep my mouth shut until She gives me permission to come out.
It works for us! Neither of us would want it any other way.
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post #35 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-02-2016, 02:09 PM
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Re: Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work?

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Originally Posted by sksdomwife@yahoo.com View Post
My Wife is definitely the Boss in our marriage, and She calls the shots in our house. I am Her fully subordinate husband, and completely under Her supervision in all areas of our marriage - outside the home and in the home, outside the bedroom and in the bedroom.
I know my place and do as I'm told or I answer to Her, and it has worked wonderfully throughout our 20 year marriage.
She controls the finances, manages the money, gives me an allowance, and if I want any additional money I must ask Her for it and explain myself, and it is then entirely up to Her whether She will grant my request or not.
She makes the decisions, often without consulting me, and when She does give me permission to give my input or opinion it is understood that She will make the final decision, and if we disagree on any thing She will over rule me.
My Wife holds me responsible for all of the domestic chores and household duties - grocery shopping, cooking, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, and the housekeeping, and She holds me accountable to Her for doing my husbandly household duties and housework to Her satisfaction.
She is loving and affectionate as long as I am man enough to know my place and remain Her properly submissive and obedient husband. Although She grants me sexual release and love making, She is totally in control of our sexual relationship and the bedroom, and I am often required to serve Her orally only, with no sexual release permitted by me.
Needless to say, while She is loving and affectionate, She is also a firm-Handed, no nonsense Disciplinarian. If She feels I have misbehaved or displeased Her any way She will not hesitate to take Her hairbrush or paddle to my bare husbandly behind and sternly scold me, then order me to the bedroom and keep my mouth shut until She gives me permission to come out.
It works for us! Neither of us would want it any other way.
LOL.

You're probably going to get flooded w/ e-mails any minute now.

But hey... maybe that was the point.


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post #36 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-02-2016, 03:09 PM
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Re: Anyone here in a marriage where the wife is the boss? Did it work?

Your wife could be frustrated because you deploy and she's the boss. You return and now she has to share the decision making, tolerate your viewpoints and not have her way all the time. She's trying to simplify the process by making herself the boss all the time.

It's your call as to whether you can handle being a 'yes' man for the duration of your marriage. Your ego could take a hit and her respect for you could take a hit.

Personally, if someone wants to have their way all of the time, then they need to stay single. Marriage is about compromise. No one ever said being a military wife was easy.
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