Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
I read somewhere that telling a woman to 'get a grip' during her hormonal swings during perimenopause is like telling a man to stop growing a beard. Recent research reported on in a Uk daily suggests that having hormonal swings is a good thing otherwise women would be more like men who have relatively stable hormones over their lifetime. Then there would be less empathetic and act in more dominant and less flexible. Quote "our hormonal fluctuations are the basis for a sensitivity that allows us to be responsive to our environment, and empathetic and intuitive to our children’s and our partner’s needs. This makes us flexible and adaptable. Being fixed and rigid does not lend itself to survival. In nature, you adapt or die. Moodiness — being sensitive, caring deeply, and occasionally being acutely dissatisfied — is our natural source of power".
The problems arise when the woman's oestrogen drops then she becomes less flexible and willing to maintain harmony, hence the problems which arise in mid life in marriages.
The writer suggests
"In our fertile years it seems as though we live for our family and ‘Whatever you want, darling’ is the mantra we chant to our partners and children. We thrive by cultivating relationships and nurturing those around us. This is down to oestrogen — the hormone of accommodation.
But when oestrogen levels fall in menopause, we start slowly to change from the self-sacrifice of ‘OK, darling, I’ll take care of this’ to a more assertive ‘Do it yourself’.
I absolutely know that feeling, enough already, add that to the mix of other issues, and situations become explosive. Someone has suggested this is why so many marriages fall apart at this time of life (if the marriage hasn't been that good), women are more inclined to ask for divorce or be WAW.