Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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post #136 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 10:56 PM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

Really LOVE the pix of Jacque!

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post #137 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 10:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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Really LOVE the pix of Jacque!
Sorry my story is a bit long-winded.
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post #138 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 03:19 AM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

She is so beautiful, Drerio. Amazing eyes.
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post #139 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 02:04 PM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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Sorry my story is a bit long-winded.
Oh no you didn't go there again....stop apologizing. But we will excuse you since being without food for so many days must have made you lightheaded or something.
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post #140 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 02:39 PM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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Thought I would share this before I continue my story. Also I plan on interviewing my wife this weekend with recorder in hand. I know it is going to be tough to here some answers but I want her voice to be heard as well.

Last day of school for my kiddos. My oldest (autistic) son apparently painted a self portrait of himself as a requirement for a grade. He did not want to bring it home. And, when I put it in the car, he wanted to destroy it. I have to hide it from him:

I'm getting caught up on your thread but had to stop with this and say OMG WOW! That is excellent work!
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post #141 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 03:14 PM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

Oh Dreio, I'm so sorry about your beautiful sister! I know the gut wrenching pain of caring for a sibling and watching them die. I know the pain of caring for a formerly abusive parent with dementia. Your thread parallels several things with my life... Except I still drink once a week!

My brother's oldest son reacted much like your sisters BF, G, did. It is terribly upsetting and perplexing how some people are so compelled to just stick their head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. I know it happens, but I just can't how this could possibly work for them, it only creates more hurt and guilt.

My mother has had dementia for the past 6 years, physically, she is perfectly fine but mentally she is 70% delusional now. It's so draining. I'm glad you've been able to make peace with the past.

It doesn't seem appropriate to say I'm enjoying your story, but I am interested. How has your wife supported you through these trying family times? How have you been able to split your focus away from that pain and rejuvenate with your wife?
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post #142 of 520 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 05:14 PM Thread Starter
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Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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Oh Dreio, I'm so sorry about your beautiful sister! I know the gut wrenching pain of caring for a sibling and watching them die. I know the pain of caring for a formerly abusive parent with dementia. Your thread parallels several things with my life... Except I still drink once a week!

My brother's oldest son reacted much like your sisters BF, G, did. It is terribly upsetting and perplexing how some people are so compelled to just stick their head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. I know it happens, but I just can't how this could possibly work for them, it only creates more hurt and guilt.

My mother has had dementia for the past 6 years, physically, she is perfectly fine but mentally she is 70% delusional now. It's so draining. I'm glad you've been able to make peace with the past.

It doesn't seem appropriate to say I'm enjoying your story, but I am interested. How has your wife supported you through these trying family times? How have you been able to split your focus away from that pain and rejuvenate with your wife?
It is Ok to say you enjoy our story, even under the circumstances. I do thank you for your support and comment of my thread.

To answer your questions: My wife was very supportive during that time. It also made me appreciate my wife more; realizing how fragile life can be. I feel through all these major events we both made the conscious choice to draw closer rather than it creating rifts. It is too easy to withdraw, but we were determined that it was important to stay strong.

I am sorry to hear about your mother. I know how difficult it can be to care for our parents when their mental state diminishes. I also understand the sundowning affect that happens about 5pm, and can relate to how the draining moments can come in waves and sometimes not always at the most convenient time... I hope you can find some respite time. Take Care. Aloha.

Our motivation really is to give others (especially younger couples), encouragement and hope in their marriage. It can be done, regardless of what life brings your way. Ours is not that out of the ordinary or as difficult as most. So by all means you can enjoy the story for its long term effects: My wife and I love each other very much and work toward strengthening our marriage, I hope that can be enjoyed.
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post #143 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 09:35 AM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

I had to think of you (I hope his comment is not out of place here) this morning when I noticed we both keep the cabinets open, doesn't seem to bother us. For other things we do have a saying "it's OK, it my OCD, not yours", or the other way around. Like when I have to rearrange the dishwasher she just loaded, it's a way of saying she didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be offended. We have tons of little ticks or habits that could drive each other nuts, the saying is a way to laugh about them and not take them too seriously. We say it a lot.


(I'm not taking away from people with real OCD, but is what we call it).



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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post #144 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 10:08 AM
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Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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I had to think of you (I hope his comment is not out of place here) this morning when I noticed we both keep the cabinets open, doesn't seem to bother us. For other things we do have a saying "it's OK, it my OCD, not yours", or the other way around. Like when I have to rearrange the dishwasher she just loaded, it's a way of saying she didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be offended. We have tons of little ticks or habits that could drive each other nuts, the saying is a way to laugh about them and not take them too seriously. We say it a lot.


(I'm not taking away from people with real OCD, but is what we call it).
That's funny Charlie every time I load the dishwasher, my husband also comes and rearranges the whole thing. In no way does this offend me. My 18 and 21-year-old boys leave the cabinets open and it drives me nuts, I am a little OCD!

Things dont happen to you without having something to do with you...
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post #145 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
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Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

As for the dishwasher, that is our oldest son's job to load and unload. Does he do it correctly? He does pretty good at it. The thing with some ASD children, you teach them right the first time and they can memorize the arrangement. He does not do well, if he has to envision a novel situation, that is we have used some pots, pans and or dishes that does not fit some memorized scheme. Unfortunately, he gets frustrated and tantrums. At that point, one of us has to help guide him.

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post #146 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 10:16 PM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

drerio - I like the new avatar. It's a Hawaiian...er...tool of some kind? Hopefully, they didn't use something like that during your colon procedure.
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post #147 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
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Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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drerio - I like the new avatar. It's a Hawaiian...er...tool of some kind? Hopefully, they didn't use something like that during your colon procedure.
ouch!!! my wife gets her colon probed on Monday So romantic when you reach your 50s.
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post #148 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 10:55 PM Thread Starter
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Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

tomorrow evening HST, I will continue our journey
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post #149 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-01-2013, 11:50 PM
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Re: Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey


Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at Affaircare.

The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this! * Weightlifter's Evidence Gathering Post for Newbies * The Man Up Nice Guy Reference
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post #150 of 520 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 12:15 AM Thread Starter
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Mr. and Mrs. Drerio's Journey

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My wife saw this pic and she rolled her eyes at me (not you)... She thinks I am a bit of a drama king

All true stuff, I just don't want it to be Uncle Ed showing his 35mm slides of their latest vacation.
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