I will continue our story tomorrow picking up year 2003... a lot happen that year, some just personal, some did affect our marriage. I think it is time however to address those things we do that irritates each other. But, more importantly how we deal with them.
What I do that irritates Keiko: Great example was like today. We went hiking and typical me, I walked way ahead of my wife and son on the way up to the bunkers. She gets irritated when I just walk too far ahead as if I am in a rush all the time. Her mechanism to deal with it, is to let me know about it right away (verbally). I normally will register it at that moment and try to be conscious about it. She says I procrastinate on some things (not fix it items, paperwork item) and she essentially feels like she just needs to do it if I don't. I have missed deadlines to register the boys in activities for that reason. In this case she just tells me I need to the one to let the boys know what they will not be doing.
She admits that I have been getting better. She says there is more, but most things she says is too small to worry about. It is true she could just do it rather than ask me, but these are usually things I say I will do. I could use the excuse that life got busy, but we have talked and I know I need to be more conscious about just doing it right away.
What Keiko does that irritates me: She opens kitchen cabinets and does not close them... 'bonk' my head hurts. Sometimes I say something other times I will just close them as soon as I go to the kitchen (still irritates me but not a deal breaker). In her attempt to not clog the shower drain with her hair she flicks her hair out onto the bathroom floor. We clean the bathroom on Saturdays. That means I get to stare at her hair on the floor throughout the week. After she takes a shower the floor is full of her hair and water. My remedy, I let her clean the master bathroom every week. I tell her I will clean other parts of the house, but the bathroom is hers.
All in all we live with it. It does cause fights from time to time but never so much that it would cause us to question our marriage or withhold intimacy. Our marriage is not perfect, but we survive. We both laughed about this as I interviewed her. Her response to what irritates her "Where do you want me to start?" I set the grounds rules... two items only