Granny7

CarolineMRF,
To have love like this would be wonderful, I envy you in a nice way. I too dreamed of a life with my H of 51 yrs. just like yours. I use to look at him after 25 yrs. of marriage, just like I did the day I married him. That all fell apart when I found out that he had an affair for 3 yrs. or more. I got lies after lies and even 25 yrs. later still don't know if they had sex or not? If I ever find out they did I couldn't be with him again. It would kill me to know that he had shared something so personal with someone else. He would have never been the one to start something with a woman, but she came on to him and she was the first one to ever do it so strong, he enjoyed the extra, new flattery and that's how our marriage changed forever. Not sure if it's going to last even now, as it's all come back to me because I couldn't deal with it 25 yrs. ago. So, you both are so very lucky, I wish you more of the same love and happiness. I wish I could feel that special love for him again, but I don't.
Granny7

Granny7

Threetimesalady,
Thanks for your kind post. I have problems knowing how to use this site also. I would like to learn how to respond to the post by responding to each paragraph, instead of at the bottom. I hear about what your friend said, but it's strange to be able to believe when that same person has lied to you over and over again. I find it hard and even totally unbelievable when he answers me. In regards to the sex, no one on this site believes that he slept in the same bed with her and at least didn't try. I look forward to reading your post, thanks for looking for it for me. My H is not content, but he knows the story of the A, I don't and I can't live without knowing the truth. I hear you when you said you would take your's back in a minute. I can't if he went that far in the A. No, I can't change what he did, but I don't have to choose to stay with him due to it either. Have a great trip.
Granny7

inarut

i am a 1st time poster to this this thread but have read through most of it only because of what threetimesalady has written. I really do hope and urge you to write a book. you have the kind of love that women and men dream of. its so sad to me that it seems so rare. you have the kind of wisdom and experience that is invaluable to others. I hope you steam through your insecurities in exposing yourself not only for yourself but so you can help others achieve what you have in your marriage.

Threetimesalady

I just sounded off like I had a mouth full of gun powder and now I am sorry I did...If anyone ever thinks that an aging woman is not full of life, than think again...I am all that I have ever been and more...I guess this is why I am here...Please forgive....

Threetimesalady

You could feel as special as I do if you let go of something that you cannot change...I would have been sick if my husband had an affair...But now looking at life and all the women that are sexually in heat and will go for a married man just like that, makes me more aware of what goes on in life...If what happened to you happened to me I would jump in bed with him and show him that I am the best...Instead of sulking I would bring out the tiger in me and be all that I may have been missing years ago...This, my dear, is how I handled my own self doubt at that time...

Age means nothing in a marriage....Here you are letting all these years go by that you cannot recover...If he did it, then so be it...Why punish yourself....

Whatever has happened, happened...If it did what he did to her and she to him is past tense...It makes no difference...It is your and his past....

My best advice is to move on....Love him for all the days you have missed....Each day of your life is one less than you will ever see again...Make every minute count...My best to you.....Caroline

Granny7

Threetimesalady,

Thank you for your response. I did do those things, the wonderful making love and sexual part you are speaking of, both before and even the night after I found out about the A. Believe me when I say, I loved my H so much and he knew it both inside and outside of bed. He comforted me that night 24 hrs. after I found out about the A and we made love in a special way bonding way.

At the time, I thought it was only for a yr. and lunch's and I was so grateful for that and told him so. Believe me, we had months of hysterical bonding sex as I was determined, even thought it was sexy before, I was out to prove to him that he had everything he needed at home and even more, so he had no reason to have looked elsewhere. It wasn't for show either, it was real. I knew what kind of women I was and I wasn't afraid to show him. I don't think we missed anything in that department, so I wasn't with holding anything from him. I was totally open to showing my love for him.

Yes, women, if that's what you want to call them. I can think of better names but won't say it on here, married or not, will go after any man that they think they can better themselves with and that's what she was doing. It didn't matter that she was married with 2 little girls, nor that she knew he was married. She knew what she wanted and went for it. He liked it and did the same.

I think what you might not understand is, I did let it go years ago, but during those 25 yrs. I had a lot of issues to deal with in reference to him. His drinking, lack of emotional support and lack of remorse and honestly. The anger towards me that he didn't control when he couldn't get his way and his selfish behavior. I blame myself for not leaving long ago, but I loved him and thought we could work it out. But I put up with it, thinking that the next time it wouldn't happen (not an affair) the things I just mentioned. I still loved him, faults and all. So, I didn't let all those years go past that you mentioned, it's only been the last 3 yrs. and really the last year has been the worse. As I wonder why I am still here and why didn't he love me enough to treat me better all these years?

Fast forward 20 yrs. later and things started to be like they were during the A, lack of emotional support, not wanting to make love but every 3 months and I would initiate it 90% of the time. His mind was on the money he was loosing in the stock market crash and other places and also angry with my back pain that sometimes kept us from traveling without me being in pain, but I went anyway. I just went through hell the week before with him stressing over it.

So everything is coming back full force and my feelings have changed. I haven't given up, but I don't know if their is anything left to salvage anymore.

Yes, your right, age doesn't mean anything in a marriage, except for the yrs. messed up after the A, during the 3 yr. A and now these past few years that are lost.

I know you say, "If he did it, then so be it...Why punish yourself....

Whatever has happened, happened...If it did what he did to her and she to him is past tense...It makes no difference...It is your and his past...."

I can't let go of something that I don't know! I've tried to put it out of my mind and it won't go away. I don't know how you can continue in a marriage when their isn't complete honesty, because honesty to me equal's respect. You have to have one to have the other.

I am just being honest with my feelings and I appreciate you sharing yours. I don't know if their were any A's in your marriage? If their were, would you look at it differently than me, or am I misunderstanding you?

I thank you for your words of advice and kindness. We'll see how things turn out.

Thank you for taking the time to write me.

Granny7

Threetimesalady

Hi Granny: I'm sorry...I only knew of the few things you wrote...I thought you dropped him just like that...Seeing you have done everything you can then it's up to you if you want to move on...I have never given advice on any marriage counseling so this is out of my league...Either way, good luck...I hope all goes well...

Granny7

Threetimesalady,
Thats okay, I felt you didn't know the whole story. I had sent you a private message explaining everything. You had told me that you had a post that you wanted me to read, were going on a trip and would try and find it when you got back? I never heard what it was on this site, so I sent you a PM asking you to try and find it, as you felt it would help me. If you can't, not to worry. I hopefully will find the right therapist in the next day or two. I've spent all day Friday going through the ones that our insurance covers and couldn't find the right one, so I will continue today. I've been through 5 in the past 18 months and haven't connected with but one, only to find our that she really wasn't in our plan. $160 a session, I can't afford. But thank you for listening.

Granny7

Threetimesalady

Seeing I have pretty much taken over the front page tonight I may as well try and recover with this post...Writing here tonight is really difficult...It would be easier to run and hide...But, I won't..and I don't know why......

I have many stories of life...I am married to the most wonderful man in the world...He is my lover and soul mate...This was a vacation of about ten years ago...It will always be so precious in my mind...That night at the window looking down was like I saw my life reflecting in front of me...Like my mind telling me that your no Spring chicken girl...Smell the roses while you are here...Make love like the angels and make every minute count...We did, do and always will....

This is my post on The Night I Walked The Halls of the Venitian:

Very near ten years ago we again drove out to Las Vegas for a vacation..... Actually it was to gamble...... Someone in the family likes to do this...... The other one is sane but this one has a wild streak.... We probably have taken this trip 10 times in our marriage.....Now we will not talk about Atlantic City which is closer.....That would be 20 to 25 times..... Come to think about it, when you drive by the Taj Mahal, look at the upper right hand bank of windows.....It was my loses that helped Donald put them up..... I love driving through the Rocky Mountains and looking at the majestic beauty of the mountains....... But sadly even they have changed.... The Colorado River no longer flows with wild water..... Large expensive homes are being built for many miles on the way out of Denver and life moves at such a fast pace that I dare not blink an eye for something else will be added..... One year we stayed overnight in Vail which is high in the mountains..... This was to be our only time doing this.....If you want to throw money away, stay at Vail.... A hamburger at one of their nicer restaurants, cost $20 (That was then)....Add some french fries and a drink and you will have parted with close to $70 and this is without the tip.... Yet, for what it was worth, we did stay one night at Vail...Should have gone on to Aspen and probably would have had to sell the car to pay for a meal.....This was to be an expensive night there. Like many other people, I have been blessed with high blood pressure.....This ran on both sides of my family so the elevation soon took a toll on my breathing..... That was a costly lesson so we ended up staying at two places that night.....One a Marriott at Vail and then on to a Hilton down in Grand Junction, Colorado.....This was at a lower elevation and I was OK...I just could not breathe at that high elevation....On this trip we again planned our stay at the Venetian.....This casino is so special to me as I love the romantic atmosphere of it from the moment you walk through the doors....Just walking through the halls and looking up at the magnificent paintings on the ceiling is worth staying there....It is such a wonderful experience and I will admit that I am such a romantic at heart....I am probably the only woman who has a love song playing in her heart every minute of the day.....

It was so hot traveling that year..... When we arrived in Mesquite the sun was beating down and it was 117 degrees outside... It was so terribly hot that I just about passed out when I got out of the car at the service station where we got gas..... When we arrived in Las Vegas, I asked the person at the desk if they could upgrade our room.... This people should check when they arrive in Las Vegas..... They will do this free of charge if there is another better room and especially if you have been there before.... They had one and it was the second floor from the top all free of charge... We were booked there for five days...... The first two days we went downtown and out to Hoover Dam..... That was so sad seeing what has happened since we had been up there about 15 years prior..... Then on the way back stopped at Sam's Casino..... I should have just driven by and thrown $300 out the window as I lost it that fast.....While in there we found the eating area and sat down and ordered a chili dog..... The food sucked and the place was worse..... We were booked into the Bellagio for dinner and did not want to eat much...... I didn't feel good after that suspect hot dog so instead canceled dinner reservations and just wanted to take it easy.... We were tired from the heat and decided to just fill up the car with gas....We were heading back home in two days and truthfully we just wanted to get out of the heat.... It was just about too hot to do anything around there and eating heavy was not part of what I wanted.....

When we left Sam's we looked around for a gas station, filled her up and then back to the Venetian....We then showered and decided to go our separate way to gamble downstairs....This was after he played "hump the hostess" with me...Lord, I love that man.....This way, if my husband wanted to go on the Strip, he could go as we each have our own cell phones for communication..... This was around 8 P.M......We had both decided that this was going to be a night where and when you eat when you want to and if you need me call me......I loved these nights...Actually I am in hog heaven....Someday I will write about what I did at Atlantic City....But now back to the Venetian....Nobody can imagine how happy I was. I am all alone.....Two charge cards in my money pouch that I can use for ready cash and he is not even with me in the same hotel.....I felt like that kid in "Home Alone"....All I had to do was go to those ATM machine to punch in the number and get the money out.....Believe me, I can be dangerous.....

I began my gambling on the $1 machines...... It was some kind of a progressive win jackpot...... One of the worst ones to play but with me the next pull was always going to be the big one....... When I left it I had lost a bit....... A bit to me probably meant about $400.. (Remember these were my old days.)....You see I was born with the uncanny ability to talk myself into thinking that I would win it all back on the next pull of the machine..... If we ever go gambling now, which we so seldom do, I take along $100 to $150...... With the house and the puppies that is what the budget allows and this is very infrequent.....Like maybe every six months..... I proceeded to lose more in the next three hours....Actually quite a bit more....Found those ATM machines in a hurry..... Then I hit a lucky run on a nine time pay $1 machine...... It was like winner time...... I could do no wrong.....I walked away with about $1800...... This was great as it probably put me ahead by $100.....Then you had better believe that I was happy....As you can see, I am not a good gambler and Las Vegas it is not a good place for me..... I am far too compulsive and stay away from it for this reason...... Truthfully, I am not proud of this and I would say that during the course of my gambling in the last twenty years, I have lost two new cars...... I have since found that gambling covers up a deep hurt from a deeper problem.....This was my case......Only when I could accept that I can't change, what I can't change, could I grow into the woman that I am today...... Only when I could get past this, could I be cured....... I stay away from it as it could be and is a problem...... I do not fool myself......Yet sitting here as I write this, I truthfully do not think that this could ever bother me again.....I have shaken or shook hands, whichever is right, with the devil and risen to a place in my life where I stand tall...I am proud of what I have tried to do and even though I still worry about the consequence of being discovered, I still try and let women know how wonderful their life and sexuality can be as they age...... Sometimes I truly wonder where I came from, as I have never tried to help anyone before in my life........ Gosh, that is a heavy statement, but I am going to leave it in here......I guess it is who I am......

I guess it was at this casino and at this place in my life when I realized that there is only so much you can gamble...... You just get sick of it..... When I was finally done, which I was when I had won the big money back, I decided not to go up to the room....... After losing that much and recovering it I figured it was time for me to get my gambling life together and make this my last trip to Las Vegas........ This was a big decision for me and a lot of soul searching...... I knew my husband did this only for me....... This is the way he is........ Anything for me...... Far more than I deserve but he loves me as I love him......All of the sudden I realized I was hungry....I hadn't eaten since that afternoon, so I headed over to St. Mark's Square....There a waiter set me up with a lovely table overlooking the square for a $10 tip......It is at this place in my life where I sat for two hours watching the people go by and reflecting on my life.......I was missing my lover who had called that he was heading to bed, but just enjoying this special time and silently giving thanks as I reflected on my life and all that I have......I ordered a salad and some grilled meats....It was so delicious with the fresh bread and olive oil.....Cold beer was my beverage.....There I sat and watched my life go by....Watching people pass me with strange languages....Felt a different woman emerging from my own shadow....There I sat and watched the children....Up at this late hour of night and I enjoyed this conversation that I had with strangers....I always wondered why little children liked me...For some reason they like to talk to me...I would say that this night I speak about was one of the most wonderful times of my life......... I will remember this night as long as I live......You see, I knew I would never be back there in my lifetime..... This was it....

As I walked the halls, it became an adventure...... Artists and musicians coming and going all night long....... All these beautifully clothed people running.to perform on the stages in St. Mark's Square.... This excitement and happiness is all around you.......For some reason I just wanted to be a part of it......I wanted to memorize all the smells and the scene of happiness... I often looked at the ceiling and the beautiful works of art....All of these things made my night magic...... I spent so much time just trying to take this all in and memorize it.....In my heart I knew that I would need these memories to bring forward and smile as I again think of them as I am doing now...........

Twice I walked the halls and followed the gondolas..... I listened to the gondolier's sing their songs and watched newlyweds hugging each other in the boats....... I sat at the end watching people as they arrived and as they departed....Then I went back to St. Mark's Square.....I watched the people on the stage singing...... I admired the beautiful sites of the buildings and the wonderful creation that had been made....... I took in all of that wonderful night and held it close........ There it remains.....And there it will die with me..... I looked at all that was around me, as I knew what I was going to do.... I was going to go upstairs and tell my lover I wanted to go home..... I had just had the most perfect night of my life in Las Vegas.....The hotel had worked it's charm on me....Now I wanted to leave and go home....Nothing would ever be able to equal what I had experienced so....Take me home my love. Take me home...

Krispie Creme was just closing as I walked the halls back to our elevator...... It was about 4 A.M...... I stopped and picked up some doughnut and took the elevator back up to our lovely suite...... There I sat in a darkened room looking out the large window before me at this city of many dreams...... I saw the people below and the Mirage across the street.....I could see an airplane coming in with people coming to visit the City that never sleeps..... As I watched I could see my life pass before me...... I knew that I would never see this nor walk this way again....... I never went to bed....I woke my husband at 6 and we were out of there by 8...... We got charged for an early departure, but who cares.....I wanted the memories of that night as it was...... Nothing changed..... Just the sweetness of the Venetian at it's finest and my heart so full of the night I had just lived........

That night is still such a precious memory to me...........I can still hear the gondolier's singing and people laughing............And if I close my eyes I can see the Courtyard of St. Mark's Square........And my heart is still young..............Let it stay that way.......Much love...Caroline...

Granny7

Threetimesalady,
I just wanted you to know that I found the post that you were talking about. I have to commend your Husband for being so strong. I can imagine what was going through your mind, it had to be hard. I only wish mine had been as strong as yours. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Granny7

Threetimesalady

Aging is a thing that bothers all people...I'm not sure if we fear death or being one of those old people we see sitting on a bench and watching the world go by...I feared it all my life, but with me it was dying...Now I have gotten to a point in life where I look at aging and my past life as a joke...Here I will soon be 76 and my husband 77 and with the exception of some aches and pains everything is the same...We still make love like fools and sometimes sit back and laugh at the world...We wonder what we did right to make this precious time in our life so right...The one thing I can say on this is that we lived each day for the day...Enjoyed life to the hilt...Never a day has gone by that we didn't say I love you to each other and never forgot the love and lust we had for each other from the start...I guess more than anything that he is what makes my world go round and he feels the same about me...

Yet earlier in life this thought frightened me...Maybe people talking about it or maybe just accepting that I was now on the downhill phase in life...I feared his dying as I feared my own...Wondered how I could live without him and still do...This for us is too painful to talk about so we don't...Yet, every once in a while after I have tucked him in and we said our prayers, he will say "hey baby...see you on the other side of the moon"....This has come since he saw the Tex Ritter song that touched him so deeply....After seeing the you tube on it he is now convinced that this is the place we will meet again...God only knows how I hope this is true...This part of my older age tears me apart....

Back when I was approaching my 70's, is where I ran into trouble...My Mother died at 79 and for some reason I feared this new number...I recall I was posting at another site and had a friend there....His name was Gigi...He was 76...He knew me well...He always told me to think it out before I posted a post...He said my brain worked faster than my common sense so to slow down...He may be right, but I never listen to anybody on this...I guess more than anything that I gotta be me...Maybe this is why I love this site....

Seeing I was 69 at that time and had another friend on that site who told me not to go weird as her Mother did when she turned 70, this new number was on my mind.....She said when she reached that age that she went into a shell...Didn't want to go out and they were having a hard time with her...With this in mind one night I wrote my own parody of my fears on this new place in my life...Wrote it to myself and put it on my site...This is what I wrote and how I felt and just may be the feeling of how we feel about "older age"....
*****************************

Dearest Gigi:.. My wonderful friend who tried to keep me on the straight and narrow....I recall once you told me to write a post and look at it for 24 hours before I posted it...Come to think about it...You had the right idea... But not me.... I am the rebel with a cause.... Honey, you didn't fail.... I messed up.... But, God help me, I am happy.... I love this site.... I told you once, I just had to be me... Well I am.... That is just the way that God made me.... I am this crazy and happy woman who refuses to grow old.... Hopelessly and madly in love with the man who takes me to heaven whenever we make love....I just adore him.....

Now my dear friend I am putting my puppies in bed and will be back shortly...Like five minutes.... Have to take them out and put in the library in their separate cages for the night..... This is where we put them so we can sleep....We shut the doors and put a night light on for them.... One is afraid of the dark.... I can't believe we do these things for dogs.... Had to put a third burglary alarm system pad in the house as I set the house off three times going through the three season porch to the dog run..... We had to put this up in cedar because of all the restrictions in our division...We also had the three season porch winterized and air conditioned....This all for puppies...

Now I am back and they are in bed.... It is 12:04 here in the morning.... I give each of them a cheerio for performing their bodily functions.... Wish they always remembered them.... They will be 4 months old and are 7 pounds 3 on the girl and 9 pounds and 2 on the boy.... Will not get much bigger.... We adore them. They make us feel so young....They are twins and so precious.

Now for my problem. Pretty soon I am SUPPOSED to turn 70....Only I really don't want to change my age.... I know you are 76 and probably your child bride around my age but I am not going to move.... I like 69.... I adore it.... I just got used to it.... I didn't get used to it until I got to 65 so I want to stay here.... But Gigi, people are starting to disagree that I have to change.... I like the number I am at.... These are my reasons..

I hope you will agree with me..... First my drivers license is wrong.... It should be another age.... I think it is ten years off.... I think I am really 59.... I look it and I like that number.... I can accept 60.... I had a hard time at first, but now I am OK with it and can do it again.... 60 I can handle.... I think someone messed up on my records.... My Mother and Father have passed on so they cannot stand up for me and help me.... I'm really PO off about this, but what can I do?.... Besides that I like the sexual act 69.... It took me many years to find out about this sexual position and now it has to go....Maybe if they come up with a good sex act for a 70 number I may consider it, but unless they do the hell with them.... I am staying here......

Another problem is I don't like the clothes people wear at age 70.... They are old and drab.... Mine are young and cute.... Mine are made for the hip young acting woman.... Not a matronly woman.... I like jeans and tennis shoes.... Old ladies wear bedroom slippers.... That sucks..... They wear Granny nightgowns..... I don't wear any clothes to bed and if I do it is Victoria Secret short nightie without the panties.... God, does he dig that.... I shave and it just about strokes him out.... Last time he took me on the floor.... No, I am staying at 69..... I am not going to give my sexy clothes to Goodwill for an old nightgown..... That is a bunch of crap.... That is another reason I can't get older. I still swear....

Now I have another problem.... I don't look old. I look young.... I feel young.... Not quite as young as I did two days ago because I took a heck of a fall and broke the gate in the kitchen....Just about squashed two dogs and am sore..... Just about killed myself.... That night I really prayed and thanked God for letting me live.. But, I still look young.... It doesn't matter that I go to the beauty saloon to look young.... It cost me $95 with a tip to do a gentle touch up job on my lovely hair..... She hardly touches it.... Just a tiny bit.... The rest of the money goes for talking to me while I am there..... But when I leave that place I am hot.... Really hot... Makes that man of mine really dig me..... So they know me as 69 and that is another reason to stay.... They would not like it.... No change there either.....

Now for the food..... The lousy food..... Old people in their 70's eat food I don't like.... They like geritol, prunes and mashed potatoes..... I like Subway, Steak Escape and Pizza..... They like rice pudding..... I like chocolate cake.... Oh an occasional Outback's with some beer is good, but I am young and go to the young places..... I do not want to eat old..... Old people do not have teeth.... They eat mush.... I want to eat popcorn and cracker jacks.... No, I am not going anywhere, I am staying this age..... This again made up my mind.....

Old people go to bed early.... How can I do that?... Old people are in bed by 7.... My life is beginning at 7... Here I am just sick.... We just got the three season porch fixed to an all weather porch and the best room in the house for hot sex..... With those leather chairs and hassocks and those big open windows, hey man that is hot out there..... We once had some doggie sex out there and I want it again... But, how can I do this if I have to go to bed at 7?.... It is still light out.... How can I make love with the candles on at 7 at night?... I am just starting to come alive at 7.... Oh Gigi, I can't handle this.... I have to stay at 69..... What am I going to do?...

OK, I know you were a big man and have your own company.... Now I need your help.... Think hard.... Maybe one of your high power friends can figure out a way for a desperate woman to retain her age for a little while longer.... Just ten years.... Give me a break.... Change my birth certificate and then my social security number and anything you need to but honey, let me stay young......
..
To you Gigi, I send my love.... I pray that you and your wonderful wife and family have a safe and happy life.... I send it to you through the keyboard as I type...Lean forward and catch it my friend... It is there..... Grab it and hold it close.... It is all for you.... It is telling you to stay safe..... Have a wonderful life.... I am so much in love with him that my heart aches.... Never has a woman been any happier in life than I am..... Blessed, oh God help me have I been blessed.....

We both keep our anonymity.... Mine and yours..... No letters, but this.... But we know each other from another time and another place..... You and your lovely wife and me and my precious lover.....

Gigi, have a wonderful life.... Live and love like there is no tomorrow...........I will think of you often as you will think of me...........Ours was a romance without romance, but filled with love.............Please take care...Much, much love, Caroline

oncehisangel

Miss Caroline....

You are a true and beautiful young lady.


Wickedly awesome last post.


ty ty ty


love and peace

Threetimesalady

Hi Oncehisangel Thank you for your kind words...They make me smile as I read them..."Wickedly awesome", I can accept....That's what makes our world go round...

I have spent the last two days reading your thread...I, too, have known the pains of hell...Not on the same plateau of pain that you have had to deal with, but hell knows many faces...This was ten years ago and through this a new person has emerged...She is strong and finds a new purpose in life...I, like you, have been beaten to the ground...Yet, now I stand tall and will never stoop again...It was time...

Honey, you have gone through the sorrow of many women...I can't imagine your pain, but I can understand your hurt....

Stay strong... Think of the wonderful life you have ahead of you...You have your children and your family....My best to you...I send you my love....Caroline

Threetimesalady

This is one of the posts that I deleted when I had a "stupid" day...After what I just posted I think it should be on this Topic of LTM...Sorry for my major mess up....The post:

Often I look at this Topic and wonder what have we done different than so many other older married couples...The other day it dawned on me what it was...We were having lunch and I looked at my husband and said that as much as we loved our children that who and what we were now was who we were when we first met...In plain words, "I belong to him and he to me"...

Children are wonderful treasures, but two people need that special passion of when they fell in love...This we have always had, but nothing like it is now...Sexually (and believe me this is big in a relationship) we are all our yesterdays somewhat hampered by the aging of today's....But, it is oh so good....I look at the love of my life as the neatest man in the world and in all honesty he treasures me the same way....

We have now entered our 54th year married and 56th years since we met....During that prior two years to our getting married I only saw him 47 days...The rest was mail between my sailor and myself...Yet, he arouses in me the wild child of yesterday and this alone has kept him so young...You see, we women must do this to a man to keep him young...Here I am a master, only he doesn't know it...Or maybe he does.......

In all these years I have never tried to change him...I loved him as he was when we met (rather a wise ass) and he is the same now...Women adore him...And well they should...He still is a flirt (even though he doesn't know it) and more women than I would love to eat him alive...Sexy, God only knows what that man does to me...

During these years one person has changed and that being me...I had to learn to grow and accept all the changes that are necessary as a woman...With the aging has come a new and more open minded respect to sex and letting it all hang out...Needless to say I have mastered it well...With complete humbleness (if this is a word) sexually and despite my age, I am as good as it gets...

I wasn't going to post here anymore as I know the site is filled with people who need help more than I need to clog the pages...But, for some reason I felt I had to....Maybe it was the older man on another site where I help out, post about no longer being able to ejaculate or make love to his older wife because he only loves his own daily masturbation....Or maybe the man on this topic whose older wife no longer wants sexual intercourse with a man that loves her...You see I believe that she too may have become her own favorite lover...

Masturbation can be a good as well as a bad thing....It is wonderful feeling and can really empty the pipes....But, this habit can at times replace the thrill of two people making love to each other....In all honesty I am sure happy that my husband never masturbated....As for me, very seldom...It can be too wonderful and I feel that I lose part of myself in myself....

At our age we still have frequent sexual intercourse....In between he fingers me or gives me oral sex...

This is our story of a wonderful marriage with three children and two people so desperately in love...I just hope I don't come back and alter it....I kind of like to write when I don't know what my fingers will say next...It can also frighten me....But, it is who I am....

May all be blessed as we have been blessed...I think it is called "heaven"....Take care....Caroline...

Threetimesalady

I have done a couple of posts on the thread of thinking of wanting an affair...This is a subject that is dear to my heart...Not because of the fact that it is a sin against marriage, but my feelings for the woman who has posted it...We all know that there are trolls here...I do not see this in this post...Instead I see a woman crying out for something she is missing in her marriage...I see a man who has shut her off as he feels that this part of his duties are over...You see sexuality in marriage goes both ways....A woman can be cold and non responsive and he can decide that his duty or performing days are over...His could come from porn, masturbating or another source....Hers because she never really liked sex to start...You know one of those let's get it over with women....This I did not see in this woman...I saw someone in pain from the relief of passion from the part of her body that is not being fulfilled...

I am not into or for affairs...If this relationship goes this far I believe they should dissolve the marriage...He should be satisfying her with his fingers or oral sex to make her feel whole...He has to...Or she will probably give in to her temptations...

I feel that if the shoe was on the other foot that she should satisfy him...Make love to him with her mouth and hands...If he wants to have sexual intercourse she should allow this too...Either this or he, too, will look for outside pleasures...

I have posts I will be doing on this, but they will have to wait...I have guests for the basketball games and with the Masters coming up, we are pretty busy....However, this site will be where I do my posting...I feel that even though few people read my words here that the outside Internet world does...And to make it worse I feel that this is what I was created to do....Don't ask me why as I don't know....But, it will be here....Caroline....