51 Years...Till Death Do We Part My Love..Then Grab Me As You Go...

Rough Patch Sewing · 07-04-2011, 02:57 PM

My wife and I are on a journey. We honor and respect each other. No one is the boss of the other, however, at times one or the other person is right and we often communicate enough to figure out who that one is and go with that correct partner's answer. Sex is better than ever, but it still takes understanding and communication to make it Great!

The situation of our lives has never been more difficult, more dire, and more stripped of pleasantries, but we are truly a team with a vision and we are happier together than ever before. We thank God for each other everyday.

I am struggling right now to earn a living and we are on the precipice of financial disaster with a family of 6, but we know we have got what it takes to do anything with excellence!!!

Marriage is Sweet!!!!!

Rafaelinan · 08-02-2011, 11:50 AM

You have the finest, hottest and at the same time coolest love story. I'm inspired by your sex life as well. I will then make sure that my wife and I get it going till we can. Keep the fire burnin'!

Sicktomystomach · 08-06-2011, 05:53 PM

Marriage IS a journey. I loved your story. We have been married 41 years. Where did the time go? We have lots of good times,more bad times and lots of stresses. But he IS always there for me. I recently became very ill from complications of surgery and almost died. For 12 days,I was on life support and remember nothing of those days. But everyone told me how he never left my side. It got to the point I could hear but not open my eyes. He was talking to me softly,holding my hands,stroking my hair,sometimes crying. I remember him saying,"God,I'm so scared. Please don't take her from me". It was very touching.
I look back now and see that,through hard work and love,we continue our journey. I hope we can be like my parents who have been married 64 years. Dad is 90,my mother is 83 and they cling to each other. Mother fears losing Dad but Dad is very calm about it all. Mother will go to live with my sister if it happens. But they love each other so much.
I also look back and see where God has always been with us in our journey even when I didn't think he was. We have gone through some really,really hard times,like most couples. But today,as we left my hairdresers,he took my hand to help me down some steps.
That's what marriage is all about.

tacoma · 09-13-2011, 02:58 PM

This is the best damn thread on the internet!

Thank you lady.

Open4it · 09-15-2011, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tacoma

This is the best damn thread on the internet!

Thank you lady.

This is pure Gold.

FirstYearDown · 10-02-2011, 05:25 PM

Caroline, today is my first anniversary. The first year went by so fast, but I like it a lot better than being engaged.

We're starting an anniversary tradition, which is drinking champagne out of our wedding flutes, which I keep on display. We want to keep having the same champagne we received as a wedding gift last year.
I think it would also be nice to watch our wedding DVD every year too.

Have any advice on how to stay married for decades?

FirstYearDown · 10-03-2011, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Threetimesalady

Hi FirstYearDown....I love what you are doing...and may I add congratulations on your first year anniversary...Unfortunately, I have a husband that has forgotten a couple of them over the years...I think this happens more when you are young and then add a new baby before your 1st and love becomes a new ballgame.....With the two of you a bit older, my best advice is to remember your feelings of today...Refresh them in your mind...Let them never grow old...When he starts to age, then be there for him to keep him young...Don't lose that flirty personality that you have...Stay daring...Let's face it, anything goes when you are in love... We will not having children, so we will have more time for romance and each other. My husband is 37 and he is already starting to get gray hair, along with a receding hairline. I just kiss the bald spot and tell him that the grey makes him look distinguished.

I never shared our ages, so I am not sure why you assumed we were too young to show signs of getting older.

I can recall once we were at one of his sisters home for a family gathering...This was early in the first year of our marriage...We had a few words and had gone to the back pantry area to make up...We were holding and kissing each other and his sister came in..She then said:.."You don't have to do these things anymore...You are now married"...I was shocked at what she said...I felt like we were doing something wrong...She didn't know it, but her "scolding words" became embedded deep in my mind...You see they were not made in jest and she was serious...Saying this, this special part of us has never changed......

I would say one of the strongest parts of our marriage is that there is no boss...No ruler...If anyone would be more dominant, it would have been me...Sexually, we are or have always been more 60-40 with me always more in control....Earlier in life I refused more sex if I wasn't in the mood....I was young...Didn't think I could get hot...However, I had a patient husband who so often would bring me to orgasm with oral sex...He would then struggle like heck to engage me in sexual intercourse with his being at the height of passion...In many ways I was a selfish lover, but we were young and this was so important as I had never had a sexual intercourse partner before him...I can say without any reservation that this patience and love that he showed me, enabled me to become all that he could ever want in a woman...For any who may question aging, I have never known such joy in my life......

Enjoy each other....I send you my best wishes...
Thanks so much! I am glad that your husband showed you how good sex was.

Caroline

FirstYearDown · 10-04-2011, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Threetimesalady

Hi again FirstYearDown: When I said you were a bit older, I referred to the fact that we were 21 and 22 when we married...From your picture of the two of you, I assumed you were a bit older...Please forgive...Oh no, that is not us. We are both younger than the couple in the picture. Of course I forgive you.

As far as my husband teaching me sex, here I will disagree...Before we married I had a brief, but very hot sexual affair with my boss....I still argue with myself if it was sexual harassment or just the hot woman in me dying to let it all hang out...Either way, I found out...This did not go to full intercourse...After this encounter, I knew sex...In many ways and places, he touched me before my sailor.....This happening filled me with guilt....Wow, I underestimated you. No need to feel bad, it seems like it was a good learning experience. Most women carry some sexual regrets. You have managed to have a long marriage and that is something to be proud of!

Actually messed with my mind for a long time...Now looking back at this encounter, I do not or cannot regret it...I was young at 20 and although I had dated a lot had always keep the guys in line...He was a cunning man...Used his power and I was so stupid...I can't remember if I feared losing my job or that the compliments and few drinks wore me down...But, it happened...As I have aged I find that I feel that unless I had, had this sexual tryst with him (and he was married and far older than I was) that God help me, maybe the hot woman within me would not have realized the real sexual want that a woman can feel...I learned this...I remembered this....And I will never, nor have ever forgotten it...I feel that I was lucky...You see earlier and before marriage, I had learned that there was a sleeping tiger inside me...and with what happened I not only stilled her but, corralled her.......I love the use of the tiger metaphor. Most people do silly things when they are young. I am glad that your learned from all of this.

IMO, people do not know the true fight for her sexuality that a woman can face..Many do not realize that she blossoms as she ages.....Far too often they do not find this place within them that cries out until later in life....Thus, far too many affairs happen in marriage...I did and might I add I allowed it to grow as I aged....In time I mastered the art of love and this was only with the help of a understanding husband who waited for the woman within the woman to let herself go....I am, and we are the happiest people in the world...Take care...

C

Added 10/4....If I may add a man does not have this new awareness that we find being a woman...His sexual parts are not like ours are....When a woman truly lets go and finds herself she knows heaven....I speak of the glory of the elusive g-spot...

One more addition: My husband never found out about this affair or sexual interlude before our marriage...I could never tell him...I figured why?....It was wrong, but it happened...From this happening I have been able to understand more about women then I ever thought possible...I understand their yearning....I now see why and how a mistake can be made in their marriage when they can't control themselves....I now know that as a woman ages that she becomes more sexually powerful then she ever knew before...It blows her mind...She wasn't ready for it....And this special part of me is part of my memory of life that helps me understand the sorrow that many go through....and some get tempted in a marriage that had been strong...And for many the worst is yet to come...That being an aging husband that she has not kept young and a woman who now has come alive and doesn't know how to handle it....

DesperateHouseWife · 11-02-2011, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Threetimesalady

I just read a post about what husbands need from their wives and one person said "understanding".......I have been tempted to delve into this topic more than a few times, but have hesitated...Believe me, being married 53 years I have been taxed to my endurance more than a few times....Now as the years go by I find that they multiply as it seems that this is just a part of marriage...I guess it is supposed to be kind of a woman's new acceptance as she ages...I don't know where I want to go on this subject, but it can't be ignored...I can say in all honestly that if I did not fully understand all the weaknesses in the aging man that we might not be sleeping in the same bedroom, nor in a king size bed and definitely not naked....

This last two weeks have been a new lesson in life...I am now and have been learning to live with the "understanding issues" in the aging man having double cataract surgery....Along with this I can also speak about the aging woman wanting to scream when he refuses to listen to what he is supposed to do....In other words, they like to make their own rules.......

This has been a busy time in our life...Actually, I should get a medal for patience...For me, it's the first time in days that I feel that I can really relax and enjoy life...I want to answer SA's post as well as give my final answer to the one that I did above, but they will have to wait...I now have to put eye drops into the love of my life's eyes...Need I add that I would sell my soul to the devil for him and will until the day I die...

The aging years on a woman are difficult...Sometimes they hurt...You find that you have to let go of the memories of old and accept this newer part of life...I have now learned that this is all just part of life and understanding...Take care....C

[I][COLOR="Navy"]I was on my way to log off line when I said let me log on before I go to bed. I read this,and I started crying. No one but my self can be blame for my affair,but also when you spoke about understand it hit me like a rock. When I got together with my husband of now 16 years he was the best husband in the world. The best father in the world. I used to take his slippers as soon as he enter the house. I always cooked,but if I didn't feel up for it we would order,and he never had a problem with it. We have a child,and changing diapers,bottle feeding taking turns at night was no an issue,and mind you he has a 24/7 job,but he help me out alot. We hardly argue/fight. We even watch soap together,and that was cool. We enjoy each other so much. It was like the perfect marriage. We went out everywhere,and do everything together. We moved,and I after a while I got a job. Our problems started when I started working. He wanted to control me. Complain about my make up,my hair,long hours working. I did still cook & clean. He then started putting thoughts in his mind that I was going with someone since I was working long hours. He was being controling. Monitoring everything I was doing. Acting like I was not working when I was. He then began to curse at me treat me bad. I became friends with a woman. We were friends for many years. I started opening my self to her,and telling her my issues/problems,and before I knew it. I was having an affair with a woman. I wasn't gay/lesbian. I just needed a friend,but I guess it took a twist,and it became an affair,and no one,but me can blame my self for what happen. I felt alone,and my husband was treating me bad,and after I ended everything,and had more kids he treated me worst then ever. Started saying my kids weren't his even with the home DNA testing. Starting calling me worse names then ever. Reminds me all the time of what I did even though he says he has forgiving me. I feel as if I'm living in hell. Nothing will ever change what I did. Of course judge me. Throw a brick at me. Hit me if you wish,but this pain will be with me forever. How is my husband feeling? He claim he was hurt,and felt like the world ended. Why did he treat me this way,and push me away? He has no answers. I'm not the victim,but why is he the victim. I feel he has alot of fault in what happen. Why things happen the way they did. Me, I still love him. I feel bad. I feel hurt. I cry. I'm sad. I'm depress. Was the affair worth it? No I learn from this. Nothing will make me feel better. He doesn't trust me. He continues to verbally hurt me. Accuse me. It's been almost 4 years. The pain never goes away or gets better. I'm stupid for telling someone my issues. There is no real friend out there. This is so painful it's like a deep cut that doesn't stop bleeding. I'm going to start counseling,but I'm alone in this since it was my fault,and he wants no part in MC. Oh well... true saying you make your bed you lay in it!

DesperateHouseWife · 11-04-2011, 01:05 AM

Hi DesperateHouseWife: I'm sorry, but I'm not into helping with marital problems, but I will take a stab at this...First and foremost, whether you had an affair with a man or a woman, you both need marriage counseling to save your marriage...Not only you, but him even moreso...What strikes me as unusual is the fact that you speak of having such a wonderful marriage, yet somehow ended up in the arms of another woman...When I started working is when issues happen.To me this sounds like part of your sexual make up was not being fulfilled...My life life has always been good. He just always put me down for anything.Marriage is more than watching soap operas and all that you spoke about...It is the special closeness of two souls who make the magic music of hot sexual love....To me, what I speak of, seems to be missing...

If this is true, then why are you fighting to try and find happiness with a man who does not want to do anything but destroy you?....This is what is truly bothering me...We only have one life....Take care...C

I love my husband,and I made a mistake. He made it clear to me that I can attend counseling,but he wants nothing to do with it. Maybe since I hurt him this is his way of getting back at me.

FirstYearDown · 12-02-2011, 03:49 PM

You are a very inspiring woman.

I love talking to women my grandmother's age. My dear grammie can no longer give me loving advice because she suffers from severe dementia. She thinks I am still a toddler.

Wisdom can come from all ages!

DesperateHouseWife · 12-03-2011, 10:17 PM

[QUOTE=Threetimesalady;472189]First of all you messed up with the affair with the woman....Yet there is a part of me that says you were starving to death from want of sexual fulfillment and somehow were able to make yourself accept the fact that another woman would not be as bad as a man...I never thought of ever getting together with a woman or a man. This wasn't something I plan.

I am putting a figure of 36 for your age...I'm 32If I add 21 years for your husband that would make him(54) 57
Stop beating yourself up...Stand tall...You are a good woman who made a mistake....Let he who is without sin throw the first stone....I send you my love and best wishes....Oh, and I, too, love giving a man oral sex....That, with some hot flirting, IMO, is the secret to bringing him back to youth....Take care...C

Sorry I been MIA I been dealing with my marriage,and stop being on the computer so much. I got to talk to my husband as I have done many times,but this time it was different because he finally seem to understand. I told him XXXXX I'm sorry that I hurt you,but right now you are hurting me with the way you are talking to me,and treating me. I don't appreciate it. Do you want me to leave since you can't forgive me? I'm willing to give you freedom. I don't want to be in the way of anything. If being with me is causing you pain I need to leave. I can't live like this anymore. He said he is sorry,and I said I can't forgive you,but we can work on our marriage if he liked. Ever since the last time I log on here.
A miracle happen... We haven't been arguing. We been friendly. We been having lots of sex. I'm falling in love with my husband again. All those verbal abuse may me lose the BIG love I have for him. I always love him,but felt out of love. Now I'm like falling in love again. He has been treating me good. No putting me down not making me feel bad. I been treating him better then ever. Always attending to him. He stop coming home later. I hope he stays this way. Thanks for your advice

DesperateHouseWife · 12-12-2011, 12:17 AM

[QUOTE=Threetimesalady;501749]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DesperateHouseWife

My only advice would be to keeo on doing whatever you are doing now...Love him like there is no tomorrow and have him do the same to you...You are very special and deserve it...Remember that as he ages that he will live with some self doubt...Be there for him and encourage him when it is needed...

As far as not being on the computer that much, I consider this a plus...I never knew about posting until ten years ago...Even now I am seldom on pertaining to forums or sites...Business, yes as I am deep into antiques...but, not the other...This is my personal choice and being truthful, I know that my husband wouldn't like it if I was.......

I send you my best wishes for a wonderful life and pray that all goes well with you and your husband...Please stay safe...Love, Caroline....

Thanks Caroline... Believe it or not it has been very difficult to finally be in peace after so many years of the same treatment. I'm giving 100% and he seem to be doing the same. He even started playing with the kids. When he wants something done he ask instead of demanding it. For example he told me today wow look at this living room the kids made a mess,and then said I know you will have it looking nice again. Before he would say you do nothing the house is always a mess,but now that he is actually home,and spending family time he notice I actually clean at least 5 times a week. I do it weekends if I have to,and things are out of hand. Now I feel like a equal partner. Good night it's really late.

Coffee Amore · 12-21-2011, 06:09 PM

This thread is pure gold. You should post some more about your long lasting marriage. It's good hot reading.

Your story makes me think that people from previous generations had more maturity and common sense than people who get married today. It seems like so many couples today are in marriages which should never have taken place.

tacoma · 12-24-2011, 05:18 PM

I get very melancholy this time of year thinking about years gone by and the people I`ve lost.

It`s a wonder my wife puts up with my depression year after year during the holidays.
Thankfully she does.

I decided last week I`m going to try not to focus on what was and what could have been but instead I`m going to focus on what`s good here and now.

Once I decided this I formed a running list in my mind of all the things I had to be grateful for and realized those things were mostly people, not things at all.
The irony is, it is those people who take the brunt of my melancholy this time of year and do so selflessly and with compassion.

I`ve simply decided I won`t make those people go through my crappy moods anymore and decided to make some new fantastic memories I can pine for 20 years from now.

It`s not easy but it`s worth it.

This day will pass, make it better than it might have been