The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfections - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-13-2013, 07:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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Originally Posted by Threetimesalady View Post
However, being older I hesitate voicing my opinion...I dread the younger generation looking at me as some old woman sitting in a room speaking of life past...I am so far from this that it is a joke...I live in heaven and am surrounded with not only the love of my family, but a man who I would die for and who would die for me...Yet, in the back of my mind I keep remembering my thoughts when I was your age...How would I have reacted when I was in my late 40's to some old lady who spoke of passion and lust at this age in life?..
Just wanted to say... I never rolled my eyes at my Grandmother when she shared her love story with me...I have such fond memories of sitting on her country porch... her in her Rocker, and me on the swing... we'd eat ice cream & talk for hours....

I absorbed ALL of her life lessons... I wanted that sort of marriage/ family.....Maybe I am not the norm... and that was back in my early teens...at that time she was in her 70's !!!

She didn't go on about Sex & all this flavorful stuff...honestly I wish she did !!! I can see me someday being JUST LIKE HER... just add the JUICY stuff ....so God help my Grandchildren!

I feel we hurt ourselves IF we dismiss, or easily write off the lessons of those who have lived & loved before us... generations may come & go, but does Passion and Love really change ?





Quote:
Originally Posted by Threetimesalady ...I believe when two people are perfectly mated both by personality and sexuality that they can raise heaven and hell and not be separated...Where one falters, the other stands strong...This is where the perfection comes in....

Life is learning...This is something that never stops...What I thought I knew six weeks ago is only a thimble full of what I know now...I have been humbled and will be grateful for every breath he takes for the rest of my life...I have found that with life and each happening comes a new maturity...It is at that time that you have to reach within yourself and find the perfection that has been there all along and has now allowed you to bring it forward...This is when you grow and learn the new you...You grasp this new meaning of the word called "love" and your days are never the same again...This is when you learn that life has nothing to do with you, but the person who completes you...And you remember this for all the remaining days of your life..
ThreeTimesALady for sharing !

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post #17 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2013, 05:14 AM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

Oh, I hope you don't go, SA. We need you!
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post #18 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2013, 09:14 AM
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The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfections

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Oh, I hope you don't go, SA. We need you!
If SA leaves, I'm leaving. She has a lot more usefulness around here than I do. Plus, she is better looking
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post #19 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-15-2014, 10:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

I absolutely adore this song...it's so moving... all-encompassing...

All of me -by John Legend....the words made me think of this old thread of mine...


Notice the opening words >> "What would I do without your smart mouth?...Drawing me in, and you kicking me out"...

"you're crazy...and I'm out of my mind"....

"even when you're crying your beautiful too"...and

"Love your curves and all your edges...All your perfect imperfections" ..

Yeah...there is beauty in those imperfections... this song captures that so well...

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post #20 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-15-2014, 10:26 PM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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That's a great set of lyrics to sing to a woman. Thanks for posting them.

You'll never guess what the first song I sang and played to my now-wife was.
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post #21 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-16-2014, 06:30 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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That's a great set of lyrics to sing to a woman. Thanks for posting them.

You'll never guess what the first song I sang and played to my now-wife was.
Oh I'll never guess....do tell MSP!....does this mean you are a guitarist or pianist too?.... I can't think of anything more sentimentally moving / emotionally rocking...over a man pouring his heart out like this...that's as good as it gets!!

I guess John Legend sang this to his Bride on their wedding Day.. .was reading a little of those "song facts"... did your wife turn to a ball of mush before you...mascara running down her cheeks...

Bet your guests had some tears too....if the song was anything like this one!

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post #22 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-17-2014, 12:13 PM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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"Love your curves and all your edges...All your perfect imperfections" ..

Yeah...there is beauty in those imperfections... this song captures that so well...


This song really does capture the whole bit about marriage. I especially like the term edges he uses. It really give a great image of the contrasts within each of us. I can really identify with them with my wife. Overtime I have come to enjoy the "edges" much more than I expected. It is an essential part of her personality. Sort of like the yin/yang comment above.

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
Listen to your spouse!
Fog v. Love
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post #23 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-17-2014, 12:27 PM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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Oh I'll never guess....do tell MSP!....does this mean you are a guitarist or pianist too?.... I can't think of anything more sentimentally moving / emotionally rocking...over a man pouring his heart out like this...that's as good as it gets!!

I guess John Legend sang this to his Bride on their wedding Day.. .was reading a little of those "song facts"... did your wife turn to a ball of mush before you...mascara running down her cheeks...
I play a few instruments.

I meant the first song I played to my wife, not something from the wedding day, though. And, yeah, it was this one:

Mac Davis - It's Hard To Be Humble (1980) - YouTube

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post #24 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-18-2014, 04:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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I play a few instruments.

I meant the first song I played to my wife, not something from the wedding day, though. And, yeah, it was this one:

Mac Davis - It's Hard To Be Humble (1980) - YouTube

...yeah not a wedding day Song!! Ok.. I see you in a whole new light now MSP... only certain characters could pull off a song like that..

Oh that had to be so much FUN for her ~ probably shaking her head up & down through the laughter!!
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post #25 of 40 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 09:58 PM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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...yeah not a wedding day Song!! Ok.. I see you in a whole new light now MSP... only certain characters could pull off a song like that..

Oh that had to be so much FUN for her ~ probably shaking her head up & down through the laughter!!
Oh, I'm a heck of a joker elsewhere, even online. I'm pretty serious on TAM.

The really funny thing was that we were still getting to know each other and I sang it over the phone to her. And I put on the most over the top country twang ever, just for fun. But because I had never sung to her before, she wasn't sure if that was my real singing voice or not! She was so polite and kind, she didn't want to offend me by laughing. Meanwhile, I'm thinking to myself, "Why isn't she laughing?" Lol!

By the way, this was the first song I ever played to her:

Tommy Emmanuel - Blue Moon - YouTube

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post #26 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-30-2014, 02:26 AM
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Re: Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperf

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I caught this thread >> When a marriage is just too perfect... which ruffled some feathers here.....it puts the spotlight on & questions those who speak affectionately of our marriages/ spouses with adoration, a well spring of thankfulness & Praise...

Let's talk about "Perfect" for a moment >
Meaning: Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind....Being without defect or blemish...faultless, flawless, impeccable.... do you know anyone like this in life ?? I don't ...

For starters...I believe this to be TRUE >>



Now here lies the amazing thing about ....when we find it...the imperfections start to bud in each of us...but yet... somehow we still love with a burning flame....it is what makes each of us unique....our weaknesses can even make us beautiful .....a Gratitude & connection grows.... and this happens....



This has been a Very inspiring song to many.... F'n Perfect - Pink ....the lyrics, the video, the "spirit" perfectly illustrates this message...that in our imperfections, bad decisions, wrong turns along the way, fighting our own demons... happiness CAN be found ... that WE are "enough"...

...

...



I FEEL the meaning of all of these quotes to a high degree in my own Marriage... and somehow wanted to convey this message - that this is Attainable... despite not one of us has "arrived"....

Can you list the imperfections of yourself and your spouse and just HOW they "work" for you somehow in your marriage, you almost admire the "Quirks".. how they balance you out ?

And this >>






Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
for sharing... I listened, and looked up the words >>>





This is my personal favorite for sticking it out through whatever life hands us ..not necessarily a marital song, but could be!...
Through the Barracades by Spandau Ballet
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post #27 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-22-2015, 01:24 AM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

This was linked on a more recent thread.

Last week my boss asked how long my husband and I had been together. I told her and she was surprised, replying 'Wow, and you're still so sweet with one another!' I joked this off about somehow he's managed to put up with me for all this time. I told my husband what she'd said. He smiled but added that we have our 'moments' too. And of course we do. We had a big moment not so long ago. Much of what I've been learning went out the window. Although certain instincts of how I would have reacted in the past has changed. We needed a bit of space, let the emotions and thoughts calm. After a time, I walked up to him and just put my arms around him. He put his arms around me in response but said he wasn't at that place yet. I told him neither was I. He asked why I was hugging him and I told him it felt the right thing to do. The next morning he said we ought to talk again and to remember it's me and him against the world; not against each other. We were able to talk again from a calmer place and sorted it out. Those moments happen.

Recently he said he wanted to feel more support from me. I was taken aback..! and expressed how I felt that I'd been showing a lot of support. He told me what he needed ...I told him I felt I had been doing that. He said not to shout at him. I didn't realize that I was and said it was really important that he knew how much faith I have in him! He raised his voice slightly and said, 'Listen f*cker, I BELIEVE IN YOU!' and we both started laughing. I then gently reminded him that I've got his back. He then gently thanked me and said that's all he needed to hear.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #28 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 07:35 AM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

I once said to my husband if you would just pick up your socks, stop smoking and stop stealing the pillows, you would be the perfect husband. He looked at me, smiled and said, "Perfect would be so boring".

So I will take all the little imperfections and be happy. I would hate to have a boring husband or marriage.

I like this post. I have read it over quite a few times. It made me think of my marriage and all the things I have to be thankful for. Even, if at times there are bumps in the road and I get the smaller portion of the bed. I am over all happy and grateful for my blessings.

I have really learned a lot from the various articles and topics you have brought up SA. Makes me think. Glad you are doing it.

Enjoy your holiday, you crazy wacky people.
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post #29 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 09:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

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We had a big moment not so long ago. Much of what I've been learning went out the window. Although certain instincts of how I would have reacted in the past has changed. We needed a bit of space, let the emotions and thoughts calm. After a time, I walked up to him and just put my arms around him. He put his arms around me in response but said he wasn't at that place yet. I told him neither was I. He asked why I was hugging him and I told him it felt the right thing to do. The next morning he said we ought to talk again and to remember it's me and him against the world; not against each other. We were able to talk again from a calmer place and sorted it out. Those moments happen.
It seems many have a similar way.. they literally NEED some time & space before they can come back together....

It's like you tried to offer the olive branch but he wasn't ready to receive it just yet... it's not always easy to make that 1st move .... that had to sting just a little ??

We have our fights too... I may slam a door in a heated huff.... but I find I am just so miserable... I am marching right back up there, cracking the door back open..... or he is coming to me not wanting us to be mad at each other, he offers the olive branch too...

It's always a matter of...we just need to talk it out.. always vulnerability... then I own where I fell short...most times it's just the mundane annoyances of life - we let it get to us in a moment.. if we can redirect ourselves to what is REALLY & TRULY IMPORTANT...like smacking ourselves (or me) upside the head to how small these things REALLY are... it's like opening a window...and feeling the fresh air rush in...

Generally, our fights are something terribly S T U P I D ... we've shared some with our close friends, and ya know.. it brings us more down to earth...those imperfections !@#...

My one GF looks my husband in the eye not long ago & says to him ..."well you know _____, it's when she stops fighting with you -you have to worry".. and he agreed with that...

Quote:
Recently he said he wanted to feel more support from me. I was taken aback..! and expressed how I felt that I'd been showing a lot of support. He told me what he needed ...I told him I felt I had been doing that. He said not to shout at him. I didn't realize that I was and said it was really important that he knew how much faith I have in him! He raised his voice slightly and said, 'Listen f*cker, I BELIEVE IN YOU!' and we both started laughing. I then gently reminded him that I've got his back. He then gently thanked me and said that's all he needed to hear.
I love that !

It's great when in the midst of some intense emotions... it's E S C A L A T I N G ...we open our mouth.. and it's suddenly FUNNY AS HELL ..... then right in the middle of the fight.. we are laughing like crazy people (I fell off the bed once)....then we'll grab each other & speak some undying mush towards each other.. make up time!!

Tonight our family watched > together...that reaches to what's really important.. he did a lot of griping.. moaning about the things he gave up - traveling the world, the old house he lived in , too many kids, everything was falling apart after the $8,000 bank $$ was lost... he was going to end it all jumping off a bridge, he was worth more dead than alive...

George's wingless angel showing him what life / his town would have looked like without him there.. just a heartwarming movie to how we all make a difference.. even when we screw up badly.. George did a lot of screwing up in that movie !

I asked my husband what he got most out of the movie.. he answered ...how his wife stood beside him through it all....

It's A Wonderful Life - The Ending
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post #30 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 09:51 PM
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Re: The "Perfect Marriage" does not exist- but Beauty can be found in our Imperfecti

"I asked my husband what he got most out of the movie.. he answered ...how his wife stood beside him through it all...."

And he was thinking of you, SA. And feeling blessed.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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