THank you for sharing this.
And especially you sharing the dominance in action, emotionally, that is exactly pure gold. It is most beneficial to hear what happens in these scenarios.
And this, it is good also to see when BOTH the man and woman acknowledge the neglect or issues that lead to an affair, as hard as it is, but is necessary to kill resentment otherwise will fester and seeth and never go away.
It is never one or the other, regarding cheating. The cheater, of course has taken the destructive action and this needs to be understood and confronted, but regardless there are committments and neglect on both sides in these situations, and to ignore one or the other is only doing half the job, as it is not proper healing for one spouse or the other spouse to take all the blame, and yes I have seen several times the cheated on spouse wanting to take all the blame.
It always needs to be acknowledge the level on both sides, the responsibility and necessary changes, to kill the resentment and allow sexual and emotoinal intimacy to again flourish.
And I hear you regarding the girls night out. I understand each relationship must find it's own balance in such issues, and for some a girls night out may mean something different than what to me is obvious, perhaps.
BUt for my wife as well, I would absolutely challenge any desire for her to run around town as part of a group of women going to clubs and such things. For some activities more than others, are typically for this one thing, to attract and receive attention.
To me it is only this, to ponder over how much fire is safe to play with!
Again thank you for sharing, and please feel free to continue add to this thread as so much contributions are very helpful, especially prized and valued from those who are walking through the fire themselves, and coming out the other side. How valuable indeed are these testimonies in this day and age of the internet!
And as well it is best to hear from many different sources, as any monologue is never too terribly interesting for anyone.
boy i screwed up, as a young man at 26 I married my submissive wife of 21, had very dominant sex and everything else went out the window. now 20yrs later I have found that I was submissive in the relationship. I let her do what she wanted for 19 yrs of marriage and dismissed her behavior. I dissmissed her and dismissed my duties as a husband. All we had was sex that was the glue; now i see that is when I was most dominant. know i get it (thanks)
When i confronted cheating wife I was very dominant in my discusion (no anger,begging,cring) just pure emotional dominant control with how I spoke. when she broke down during the confrontation and she thanked me for stepping up and actualy giving a dam, I spanked her. But this time around, it wasn't sexual it was........ I quess real punishment for her bad behavior, weird I finally said no.
make no mistake I was a bad husband; made up for it by letting her buy, screw, and do whom and what she wanted. my bad
Its been almost 7 months since I MADE THE DICISION TO CHANGE OUR MARRIAGE, she has been very receptive and loves the intimacy and attention she is finally getting. And by the way "no she cant go out for a girls night out" but WE can go out with some friends.