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Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

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Old 09-05-2010, 08:55 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

Quote:
Originally Posted by cherrypie18 View Post
LOL I'm sorry it's not supposed to be funny because some people are really depressed but those few words made me laugh out loud!
It is good to hear that you laughed.

I do try to sneak some sly humor in my posts here and there, as they say, sometimes a little sugar makes the bitter pills easy to swallow.

Quote:
I love your post. Wish a lot more men were like you. You should be a coach to immature wimpy boys and help them get their man balls back lol

Do you maybe have a son who's around 20
So how did you guess this? Do I know you?

Now maybe I should be a little worried.
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Old 09-05-2010, 09:04 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

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Originally Posted by cherrypie18 View Post
I won't be quoting every one of your posts in this thread, but I'll say that I agree with every single one of them! If only my husband was like that...
Thank you for sharing this.

As much as I am hoping to be helpful from a man's point of view, to hear words such as yours from the woman's perspective, to so many good men on this board this is very valuable to hear and see.

So your thoughts are very appreciated and welcome, and please feel free anytime to share on this thread your ideas or opinions anytime.

I wish you well.
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Old 09-05-2010, 10:23 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

boy i screwed up, as a young man at 26 I married my submissive wife of 21, had very dominant sex and everything else went out the window. now 20yrs later I have found that I was submissive in the relationship. I let her do what she wanted for 19 yrs of marriage and dismissed her behavior. I dissmissed her and dismissed my duties as a husband. All we had was sex that was the glue; now i see that is when I was most dominant. know i get it (thanks)

When i confronted cheating wife I was very dominant in my discusion (no anger,begging,cring) just pure emotional dominant control with how I spoke. when she broke down during the confrontation and she thanked me for stepping up and actualy giving a dam, I spanked her. But this time around, it wasn't sexual it was........ I quess real punishment for her bad behavior, weird I finally said no.
make no mistake I was a bad husband; made up for it by letting her buy, screw, and do whom and what she wanted. my bad

Its been almost 7 months since I MADE THE DICISION TO CHANGE OUR MARRIAGE, she has been very receptive and loves the intimacy and attention she is finally getting. And by the way "no she cant go out for a girls night out" but WE can go out with some friends.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:57 AM   #49 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

The guy,

THank you for sharing this.

And especially you sharing the dominance in action, emotionally, that is exactly pure gold. It is most beneficial to hear what happens in these scenarios.

And this, it is good also to see when BOTH the man and woman acknowledge the neglect or issues that lead to an affair, as hard as it is, but is necessary to kill resentment otherwise will fester and seeth and never go away.

It is never one or the other, regarding cheating. The cheater, of course has taken the destructive action and this needs to be understood and confronted, but regardless there are committments and neglect on both sides in these situations, and to ignore one or the other is only doing half the job, as it is not proper healing for one spouse or the other spouse to take all the blame, and yes I have seen several times the cheated on spouse wanting to take all the blame.

It always needs to be acknowledge the level on both sides, the responsibility and necessary changes, to kill the resentment and allow sexual and emotoinal intimacy to again flourish.

And I hear you regarding the girls night out. I understand each relationship must find it's own balance in such issues, and for some a girls night out may mean something different than what to me is obvious, perhaps.

BUt for my wife as well, I would absolutely challenge any desire for her to run around town as part of a group of women going to clubs and such things. For some activities more than others, are typically for this one thing, to attract and receive attention.

To me it is only this, to ponder over how much fire is safe to play with!

Again thank you for sharing, and please feel free to continue add to this thread as so much contributions are very helpful, especially prized and valued from those who are walking through the fire themselves, and coming out the other side. How valuable indeed are these testimonies in this day and age of the internet!

And as well it is best to hear from many different sources, as any monologue is never too terribly interesting for anyone.


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boy i screwed up, as a young man at 26 I married my submissive wife of 21, had very dominant sex and everything else went out the window. now 20yrs later I have found that I was submissive in the relationship. I let her do what she wanted for 19 yrs of marriage and dismissed her behavior. I dissmissed her and dismissed my duties as a husband. All we had was sex that was the glue; now i see that is when I was most dominant. know i get it (thanks)

When i confronted cheating wife I was very dominant in my discusion (no anger,begging,cring) just pure emotional dominant control with how I spoke. when she broke down during the confrontation and she thanked me for stepping up and actualy giving a dam, I spanked her. But this time around, it wasn't sexual it was........ I quess real punishment for her bad behavior, weird I finally said no.
make no mistake I was a bad husband; made up for it by letting her buy, screw, and do whom and what she wanted. my bad

Its been almost 7 months since I MADE THE DICISION TO CHANGE OUR MARRIAGE, she has been very receptive and loves the intimacy and attention she is finally getting. And by the way "no she cant go out for a girls night out" but WE can go out with some friends.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:23 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

[COLOR="Magenta"][COLOR="Magenta"][COLOR="Magenta"][COLOR="Magenta"]If there is trust then this is not the problem. I know that as a beautiful woman my wife gets much attention (especially if she is out together with my teen daughter, as so much at first they can be confused as blonde/ blue eyed sisters), and would EASILY have another man of her choice if she choosed.

So it keeps me on my game very much as well, to know in my attitude I project that she should thank her stars that I am desiring her above other women, and I let her know every now and then she needs to "keep in line".

To see her reaction to such comments and attitude is priceless, but know it is lighting her fire, letting her know she is very much a woman and her feminine charms are exciting and desirable.

And yes, my attitude is just as attractive to other women as well, so I am in no way going to deliberately open the door for some temptation to creep in, knowing the end results are disaster waiting to happen!
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How come I feel this is talking about me. With all the love I get from my husband, I still look like a university student. All the compliments from my husband make me feel I am the greatest woman he has ever known and he only desires me. Tell you the truth, right now If I want a man, I just need to snap my finger, a lot of men(younger or older) will want to be with me. Ha ha ha.......I won't do anything silly to ruin my happiness.

BTW, I like being spanked all the time. It feels so great that my husband likes to play with me. I like to grab his bum too. A lot of fun............................

Last edited by greenpearl; 09-11-2010 at 09:27 AM.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:38 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

And this, it is good also to see when BOTH the man and woman acknowledge the neglect or issues that lead to an affair, as hard as it is, but is necessary to kill resentment otherwise will fester and seeth and never go away.

It is never one or the other, regarding cheating. The cheater, of course has taken the destructive action and this needs to be understood and confronted, but regardless there are committments and neglect on both sides in these situations, and to ignore one or the other is only doing half the job, as it is not proper healing for one spouse or the other spouse to take all the blame, and yes I have seen several times the cheated on spouse wanting to take all the blame.

It always needs to be acknowledge the level on both sides, the responsibility and necessary changes, to kill the resentment and allow sexual and emotoinal intimacy to again flourish.

For a woman, if she is extremely unhappy in the marriage, she'll seek comforts somewhere else. So I think it should be the same for men. But I do think that a man tends to cheat just because he is bored with one woman.
Right now I am so happy with my husband, no matter how many handsome and rich men out there waving hands at me. I don't even want to have a second glance at them.
How can you make your woman so attached to you? I think there needs a lot of work!!! Not just money and the certificate. Please don't take her for granted. Please don't think that certificate gives you all the right to own her. Only your love, your affectionate love, can make her return you with the love you want.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:53 AM   #52 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

Humor is important in our life. We overlook this. Living with a humorous husband is so much fun. I get to laugh all the time. I feel that life doesn't need to be serious. I used to be a serious woman. After living with my husband for seven years, I become a very funny woman. Now I go to blogs and look for jokes myself and tell my husband. I have a big smile all the time. I do hope that all of us can be funny and joke around with each other. Although I get lost all the time since I am not that sharp. For English, I get lost all the time because I don't know the background and I have never lived abroad.
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Old 09-11-2010, 10:03 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

In China, we have this saying: prevention is better than cure.
Big Bad Wolf, thank you for all the effort you put into this thread.
When I see posts about problems, I don't know how to help them. First, I am not a doctor. Second, when people are sick, it is not that easy to cure. We don't have magic power. So giving people good advice trying to help them think is a better way, at least I think like this. Wish they will think and make some changes in their lives. I strongly believe in PREVENTION IS BETTER CURE. That's why I do a lot of reading and try to perfect my personality. For health, for marriage, for life, it is all the same.
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Old 09-15-2010, 03:37 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

I've just gone through this thread, and the spanking idea really appeals to me. I have looked at bondage and SM photos, and they do nothing for me. But the spanking, a little biting, wrestling, yes, I must try it!! Whenever I ask him to bite my neck, he won't. When I ask him to pinch hard on my nipples he won't. He is too afraid to hurt me. But I am not fragile. Any hints?
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:26 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

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I've just gone through this thread, and the spanking idea really appeals to me. I have looked at bondage and SM photos, and they do nothing for me. But the spanking, a little biting, wrestling, yes, I must try it!! Whenever I ask him to bite my neck, he won't. When I ask him to pinch hard on my nipples he won't. He is too afraid to hurt me. But I am not fragile. Any hints?
You guys are just not used to playing. Whenever I see young animals play together, many kinds of animals, as well as young children. I have a big happy smile on my face. That's what I want to achieve with my husband. I want my husband and I are able to play like them our whole life. When he spanks, it is just playful spank, the feeling is so sweet. He bit my neck a few times, left a mark on my neck, I have to go to work with high collar, but the feeling is so sweet. He grabs me, it is very firm but gentle. I think personality plays a lot here. My husband is A MAN, but not a rough man, he has a very gentle personality. Your husband won't hurt you, he just needs to be gentle, let him read our posts, . Or you can spank him or bite him or grab him first. Will he be OK for that? I think all men like playful sex. Am I right? Anyway, they like sex! Give them sex, it is like giving them life!!! Ha ha ha, interesting men!!!
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Old 09-23-2010, 01:37 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

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I've just gone through this thread, and the spanking idea really appeals to me. I have looked at bondage and SM photos, and they do nothing for me. But the spanking, a little biting, wrestling, yes, I must try it!!
Next time you are sassy, suggest playfully but matter of factly what you are desiring him to do to spank you for being a bad girl.

Then assume the position and reward your man completely for stepping up.


Quote:
Whenever I ask him to bite my neck, he won't. When I ask him to pinch hard on my nipples he won't. He is too afraid to hurt me. But I am not fragile. Any hints?
I swear if I knew your man in real life I would be tempted to slap him beside the head for being so dense.

Listen, all good men reading this, if your women is telling you so obviously and matter of fact what she is desiring, for the love of everything good in this beautiful universe LISTEN to her!!!!!!!!!

This is painful to even have to type out but for your own happiness and sanity I am telling all good men to PAY ATTENTION and listen and notice your woman's hints and clues and outright requests.

And then be bold enough to DO THESE THINGS!
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Old 07-16-2011, 02:47 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

All women do not want to be spanked. That much is plain on here. My wife tried to like it but just doesn't. She much prefers to give which is okay with me. She is not dominant. I am. These things are not always as straight forward as made out to be.
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:00 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

Some of this sounds pathological to me.
But that's just me. Maybe.
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Old 07-19-2011, 06:31 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

What if your husband is addicted to porn and you worry engaging in sexual activity will just feed the flame??
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Old 07-21-2011, 07:07 AM   #60 (permalink)
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Default Re: 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

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All women do not want to be spanked. That much is plain on here. My wife tried to like it but just doesn't. She much prefers to give which is okay with me. She is not dominant. I am. These things are not always as straight forward as made out to be.
Women will respond to masculine dominance. This part can not be simpler.

How she responds, yes, depends on the man, depends on the situation.

Spanking is an easy and fun and safe way to introduce dominance to a marriage that is perhaps lacking in this sexual component.

Particularly the sex starved marriage that we see so often on these forums, a man believes everything he has been fed all his life to supress or hide any display of his masculinity or his dominance thinking they are outdated or making him a controlling caveman or other nonsense.

If you say you are dominant, good for you. You then have ways, besides spanking, to have dominance manifest in your relationship, ideally resulting in sexual intimacy and happiness between you and your woman.
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