DustyDog DustyDog is offline
- About DustyDog
- I am a:
- Relationship Status
- Length of time in current relationship:
- 16-20 yrs.
- Sexual Orientation
- Bio for TAM: Married since '99. I thought there were big issues from the start, she dismissed them, and I wanted to believe I'd chosen well...and I could compensate here and there to appease her anxieties.
She'd act angry at something and snap at me, and I never understood what had gotten her upset, then two days later she'd apologize, had a bad day, etc. And she kept starting projects that she could not finish - so I finished them. Home remodeling, for instance, something I do slowly...for 14 years of our marrage! I somnambulated through it - somehow, "doing stuff for her" should appease whatever the thing is that I can't see, right?
Something snapped in 2013, I woke up and realized I was not living any sort of life I'd have imagined and I was a fool to think I could improve anybody's emotions, or even affect their actions. Knowing I/we could not do this on our own, a counselor was engaged.
I have learned a lot about me, some problems I've been causing, but also that there's something deep in her that simply won't change, and "almost anybody" would have a hard time dealing with. Someone whose entire decision-making is based on fear. We were told, about six months ago "Most couples would divorce, given how little you have in common and how little you want to do together". We've both been told "figure out how to be single".
I don't want to D. I want to give things time to improve. But at 60, I don't want to give it *much* time.
My fear is that I don't know how to "get a life", so my focus is on learning how to socialize. A weird thing, contemplating being single and seeking a companion, while still being married. The legal contract is important to me - I won't cheat. And I"m not lonely when alone...but I think everything is better with someone. Even if she's trying to be distant...but somehow addicted to being with me, legally if not in real life.
What a long strange trip indeed.
- Edging slowly closer to the frozen tundra
- * Anything aerobic and outdoors
* Playing music, even if not all that well
* Seeing the human presence and interaction in all that "stuff" like market dynamics, hiring practices, the provision of services, food trends...to me, seeing the "big picture" of a trend means one is connecting to the very fabric that binds all humans together, and gets one closer to understanding which thread is "me".
- Several. "Sound dude" for many music festivals and local bands. As a consultant, business process development for small independents. Clearer of land.
- There are three kinds of business. Your business, my business and God's business. Whose business are you in? -Byron Katie
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|12:10 AM - sdoiuasd mentioned DustyDog in post Re: Big trouble in Brooklyn WW/ WAW |
DustyDog right, spot on. The ...
|02:37 PM - Holdingontoit mentioned DustyDog in post Re: The immovable object. |
DustyDog: Great post. Thank ...
|03:54 PM - BetrayedDad mentioned DustyDog in post Re: For the 40-60 crowd: how do you spend/budget, etc? |
You're problem DustyDog is very simple. You'...
|02:40 PM - tropicalbeachiwish mentioned DustyDog in post Re: For the 40-60 crowd: how do you spend/budget, etc? |
DustyDog My H & I don't use...
|02:10 PM - brooklynAnn mentioned DustyDog in post Re: Financial separation? |
...hanks for the reply DustyDog. The reason I was a...
|07:17 AM - brooklynAnn mentioned DustyDog in post Re: Financial separation? |
DustyDog, do you both have ac...
|09:46 AM - blueinbr mentioned DustyDog in post Re: How do you "break the news"? |
...her even more. DustyDog She should receive a...
|09:15 AM - blueinbr mentioned DustyDog in post Deleted Posts |
|06:59 AM - brooklynAnn mentioned DustyDog in post Re: What does it mean to "be compassionate and take care of yourself"? |
DustyDog, you want to learn m...
|10:28 AM - brooklynAnn mentioned DustyDog in post Re: What does it mean to "be compassionate and take care of yourself"? |
DustyDog, when I tell someone...
|04:52 AM - MJJEAN mentioned DustyDog in post Re: Splitting bank accounts for an unusual reason? |
DustyDog, have you tried actu...
|04:08 PM - notmyrealname4 mentioned DustyDog in post Re: Splitting bank accounts for an unusual reason? |
|05:45 PM - DustyDog quoted blueinbr in post Re: White Pins For White Privilege |
I think their point is if Bil...
|02:29 PM - DustyDog quoted EllaSuaveterre in post Re: Sympathy for The Devil- Wayward Spouses and Compassion |
If you haven't read the thread, it ...
|09:14 PM - tech-novelist quoted DustyDog in post Re: White Pins For White Privilege |
Depends on the opinions!!! ...
|05:09 PM - DustyDog quoted NoMoreTears4me in post Re: Wont accept people like that in my life |
So my GF and me have been talking a...
|05:05 PM - DustyDog quoted rockon in post Re: White Pins For White Privilege |
I would never graduate coll...
|10:41 AM - sokillme quoted DustyDog in post Re: If the realtionship continues the cheater always gets the best deal.. |
I have no doubt that this is ...
|09:21 AM - 2ntnuf quoted DustyDog in post Re: GOD |
Until about 1200AD, all relig...
|09:39 PM - Bibi1031 quoted DustyDog in post Re: GOD |
So...if life is everything in...
|09:43 PM - DustyDog quoted Sarah1976 in post Re: What's the point of talking |
I just have the conversation t...
|05:11 PM - jld quoted DustyDog in post Re: If ACA is repealed |
So, Trump says he repealed AC...
|04:54 PM - DustyDog quoted Mr.StrongMan in post Re: What are you hobbies? |
What are you hobbies? Have you ...
|04:49 PM - DustyDog quoted katiecrna in post Re: Boobs |
The other boob thread got me t...
|04:30 PM - DustyDog quoted Hellomynameis in post Re: Sex & dating question for the guys |
Guys, would you get involved with ...
|01:03 AM - DustyDog quoted Faithful Wife in post Re: If it was safe, practical and fully functioning.... |
Would you have penis enlargement s...
|12:58 AM - DustyDog quoted nightfly in post Re: Wife going to prison, how to deal? |
Oh boy, my wife really messed...
|06:41 PM - DustyDog quoted Kivlor in post Re: Ethics and Morality |
I am quite familiar with th...
|09:42 AM - Kivlor quoted DustyDog in post Re: Ethics and Morality |
The problem in answering ques...
|01:26 AM - DustyDog quoted Kivlor in post Re: Ethics and Morality |
I’ve engaged with a lot of ...
|01:16 AM - DustyDog quoted Justaverage in post Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions... |
I don't know if this is the righ...
|02:42 PM - DustyDog quoted adegirl2016 in post Re: My parents are driving me NUTS |
So earlier this year, my parents...