I Need Help

GAsoccerman · 07-03-2008, 10:37 AM

tell her, Let's not discuss this now, if your both still together after College is fully completed and you both graduate, then you can discuss it then.

My wife and I dated 7 years (we met at the age 19), through college in different states and I was also in the Military, our priority was finishing school, getting jobs....then marriage.

When you get married, you have to pay for the wedding, the house...kids when they come....don't put yourself behind the 8 ball.

Enjoy life, do some traveling (we did) Save money so you can start your marriage out right. So waiting is the best option...at least until you are out of college....the mindset of 19 and 25 are completely different. Wait until then, she will thank you.

michzz · 07-03-2008, 11:37 AM

Your girlfriend is trying to manipulate you into agreeing to marry to satsify some insecurity, not because she is midwestern and your reticence is not a pacific coast thing. Nine months is hardly enough time to know someone to decide such a thing, especially so young with little adult life experience.

Both my wife and I are from California and we married far too early, at age 21.

We have had a lot of things go wrong in our marriage, the worst being that she cheated for six years and lied about it during all that time and for another 8 years.

Part of the trouble was the maturing process everyone goes through in our 20s was not allowed to happen because we hooked up into the adult world too soon.

I'm not saying that the sad things that have occurred for us will happen for you.

What I am saying is that the explorations of life that occur when young can change both your paths. And further, that those changes can be inhibited from occurring by being married.

Possible result: regret, anger, and disharmony.

Yes, you two could be an exception. But why the rush to lock in a life's path so early?

You sound like you have a healthy attitude about the possibility of marriage eventually.

Your girlfriend sounds a bit insecure if she is insistent on the subject.

draconis · 07-04-2008, 02:51 AM

How about compromise. You get engaged after college and wait 2 years from that to be married. That puts you both near what you want.

draconis