ADestroyedMan

Guys, there is a decidedly odious notion held by women that
we as men aren't emotional. I call bulls**t on that. After 10
years together, my wife decided to cheat on me for an entire
year. Sometimes she'd even f**k him in my own bed while
I was at work. My own bed!!

Now, I've moved on from being angry with her. She's still
my wife, and I still love her with every fiber of my being.
I don't trust her for sh*t, but I do love her. I found out
about her affair just last Friday, and we are getting a
divorce.

The hell of it is, I don't want the divorce. She says she
loves me, but needs to live on her own for a bit. I guess
the question I have for you guys is how do you cope with
the rage?

I'm okay with her living on her own. I've forgiven her for the
affair, as my behavior toward her often left her feeling lonely.
I never hurt or cheated on her, but I wasn't always as warm
and loving as I needed to be. She knew I loved her, but I
guess I didn't show it well enough.

So, when she's living on her own, she's going to have guys
over. I know this. I just can't stand the thought of it.
It's the only thing that's still driving me crazy. I can't tolerate
the thought of her with someone else. Guys, if you've been
through this, how do you quell the anger?

daggydoo

Iam with you 110% i know how you feel as I am in same spot right now I have been married 9yr with three childern and she did the wrong on our anniversary and now it me and my three childern. Was i mad yep I was .
It not easy to deal with but i have.
I said to my self,

I decide that i was better than this anger it didnot help me
or my childern and Iam worth more than this.I knew who I was and who I could be and this was my life and things i do my friends are worth more to me than this emotional rollercoaster.

Then acted on this but I shall say this it was not easy I remind myself of this almost daily. The next thing I did is to separate me from the issue and the hate the action she did not her.
Outside of this I started reading again as i like to read positive thinking books so I started again.
I would recommed John c. maxwell; thinking for a change.

I used what these books said to improve myself and change the way I feel.
i wish all the best

Triton

I hope you can handle this ? IT TAKES ONE -TO FORGET ONE ! ROCK ON -MAN !

carmaenforcer

I completely agree with Triton Having sex with the next woman to really move forward. We put the women we choose to love on a pedestal, try to treat them like a deity and not the flawed humans they really are. We like to think of them as special and it's only when you move on to the next that you see just how not special they were.
The trick is to figure this out before giving them all that power because they don't like giving it up or even sharing it.

I have been cheated on by my now Wife back when we were first dating, I forgave but revoked all trust points and had her start from scratch.
More like your situation though, My ex-girlfriend after 9 years of bring together dropped a bomb on me of wanting to break-up to be with other men. We still lived together for two weeks during which time she came and went as she pleased before changing her mind and asking me back. I was nothing but good to her before then and so she didn't have any way of placing the blame on me although she could have tried to blame my video game playing, weight gain, the hours I worked, the fact that I had a child from a previous relationship, etc, etc.
The point is though, that her cheating is not your fault because there are other ways of dealing with relationship issue, communication, counciling, just leaving the relationship before cheating. No that blaming your short commings is just a idck move, a cowardly thing cheaters do when caught with their pants down and back up against the wall, a last minute blame shift from her mistake.

Man, that whole "in your own bed" thing is too much. I would end a b_tch for that bold of a move, but she isn't worth it, trust me.
Trust me the best revenge is moving on strong, better yourself, get a hot peice to hang on your arm, that kind of thing.
I've had two ex's want to get back with me after I was with someone hotter than them or when they saw me happy again.
That's another part of their sick nature, like cheating to get their way or to prove a point.