Seems to me, hun, he is more into porn than you. A shame, really, because if the girl were in front of him, he mostly wouldn't get any anyway , so why waste your time on the internet watching it, when he has the real deal at home. Men need to appreciate what they have, but most of the time, it is after she leaves him that they do.
It probably is the weight thing, but does the jerk know most of those girls are fake anyway, and a lot of work done to look good. A "real" woman is always better than a fake blow-up trashy looking doll.
Some people (men in your case) would rather climb a tree and tell a lie, than to stand on the ground and tell the truth.
Go workout, but do it for you, not for him. Buy some new clothes after, and let him chase you around the house, but hold out and don't give him any.
So just one question at this point... you mentioned the arguing... what was he referring to?
Well arguing used to mean just that - disrespectful (on both sides) blaming, name calling nonsense about small unrelated matters when we were really mad about other things.
For example, one of the kids forgot a jacket for school. Kid is already gone, we argue about who's job it was to keep track of the jacket (the kids?!) and blame each other.
It almost always masked the real issue (lack of sex on my part, and ?? on his) that we have yet to work out.
Now days, arguing means my having an opinion differing from his that I have the nerve to bring up, even in a thoughtful request.
"Honey, can we go to bed tonight early and snuggle, I need some down time with you and I'd love to spend time with you" can now be considered arguing because it's a subject he doesn't want to discuss, ie a personal relationship.
"Honey, remember yesterday when you said you would pick up the baby's medicine on the way back from the store? you forgot it and it made me kind of upset. Is there anything I can do to help you remember next time?" This is arguing because i'm essentially blaming him and being critical.
So I can't bring up anything negative or it's considered arguing.
I don't know how to have a decent relationship where we are not allowed to bring up anything even slightly negative.
As for the how many times a week he cums - normally none, some weeks twice, but only if everybody is out of the house.
Go workout, but do it for you, not for him. Buy some new clothes after, and let him chase you around the house, but hold out and don't give him any.
oh heck, i could buy new clothes till i was out of closet space and he would neither notice nor care. It's like he's convinced himself I am now just a friend and he doesn't see me in any other light.
He's NEVER interested in sex, he NEVER chases me around any more and I don't think he ever will. It's like he's killed that part of himself - the part that either wants or needs sex from us.
Last night, we went out to line dancing lessons (long story). we got there a little late so we just sat and watched and I got propositioned to dance and several appreciative looks. He didn't care that I was propositioned and encouraged me to go dance with the other guys. I didn't but I might if asked again. Yes, it's a nice shirt
He also says that jealousy is a sick emotion and he would never feel jealous about me and never has. Well, that's partly true - when we were dating and had a good sex life, he was plenty jealous (in a good way - possesive but not paranoid) and didn't think anything of it. Now that he sees me as just ?? it's like he doesn't care what I do or with whom.
I'm constantly told by other men that I'm cute/funny/sexy/pretty but the one man I'd like to notice me can't see past our 'friendship'. And this from the man who couldn't keep off of me for six months. I just don't get it.
Last edited by snix11; 09-29-2008 at 09:04 AM.
Reason: Too early for a grammar check...
Morning MT! I asked him. And correlated it with the times he's been on porn or had time to himself. The stories match. He has no reason to lie to me, and doesn't mind telling me all the times he's cum in the last six months.
I'm not and never have been critical of his porn watching, so he sees no reason to hide it from me.
You know how else I know he doesn't notice anything I do? I tried an experiment (call it the scientist in me)
He mentioned a long time ago he likes a woman shaved. Linoleum floors I think he referrers to it as -
Anyway - I used to shave for him constantly - and what a pain that is, but it made him happy, so what the heck. Finally, after four months of no sex, i thought "why am i doing this again?" so I stopped. He didn't mention it or seem to notice.
Not only that, but a month ago, just to see if he would notice or react, I shaved exactly HALF of me. Looks rather like some strange harlequin porn thing. Face this way, furry girl.. that way, smooth. He hasn't noticed. Like at all. and I assure you, it's obvious!
I sleep naked every night, so does he. How could he not notice?
Obviously he doesn't even look at me any more. Like I said, it's like he doesn't even 'see' me any more. I'm a six foot tall invisible girl in his life.
Something else that really bothered me this weekend.
I was at my most playful - and he said i was acting 'weird'. Before he would have seen it as playful and joined in, now he's so removed he sees it as 'weird or alien'.
If i'm affectionate, he pushes me away like i'm bothering him - this was as he was falling asleep Friday - I was just stroking his head, running my fingers thru his hair, little spiders on his back (he used to love that) now he sees it as an annoyance.
His behavior tells me he's 'thru' with me. Or am I reading too much into it?
My husband says he's happy with us, but suddenly never wants sex any more. He swears there is nothing wrong, it's just him, etc.
I don't suspect any other women but he does look at porn on the internet.
I am overweight, but have been since we met three years ago. He swears it's not the physical he's attracted to sexually but the mental (should I believe him?)
We fu**ed like minks for the first six months while we were dating. He moved in, immed stopped any kind of sexual desire. We now have sex maybe once every other month.
He gets aroused easily, stays hard when we do have sex and has no problem coming so I don't suspect anything physical.
For a long time our sex life consisted of me giving him oral, then him rolling over and falling asleep. Seems like he's not 'into' me sexually, huh?
I got kind of tired of being the one giving all the time and stopped to see if he'd get the hint. No dice.
Still he swears nothing is wrong, he loves me, etc.
How do i get the real reason out of him?
Some hints I've gotten: (his quotes)
1. Before I moved in, we didn't really know the daily stuff about each other.
2. It's just the natural way of relationships
3. It's not you, it's me (won't elaborate)
4. No, there is nothing you are doing wrong
5. I love the way you give me bj's
Puts up Jessica Rabbit as his desktop background
has a huge thing for redheads - will tell women online that he thinks his heart just stopped if he finds out they are redheads.
I'm a brunette, but dyed my hair red for him. He said he didn't like it and only liked natural redheads.
The porn he watches is your typical stuff - hard core, skinny women, redheads and girl on girl.
is it me? is it him? how do I find out?
First of all i dont see why you are or were givign him bj gettign nothign in return
2) youahve to say to him I DO actualy needasexlife even you dont! so give me one or leave!
3) drop him
4) take a box, fill it with all his porn magasin and video or DVD, and his computer,
5) set it in frotn of the door on the porch
6) get all the lock changed while he is gone
7) leave a note saying "its finish between us oyu can go "pron" yoruself away solo form now on"
8) never talk ot him again.
He ignore oyu, disrespect you , had absolutly no concern for how you feel at all, did not consider as compeltely discusting that he get a bj form you and do nothing for you but fall aslee
so he can go see a shrink and youc an be fre from trhat scum!
he think he lives in the porn world..
with him as the movie star..
the one with the red hair is NOT GOOD!
get rid of that disease call your "bf"..
he moved in make him move out..
the hting he said that it was because he didnt knew oyu before he had moved him is another way to say that now that he learn to know oyu he do not like what he got at all..
ask him, and you? you think oyu are better?
ask him " whats yoru life interest and your lreason for living beside porn"?
"do youhave a life?"
no he doesnt.
stop waisting your time and humiliatign yourself, you done that for far too long already.
he cosnider woemn as objexct, he like object redhair in the computer and ihe dont like object B brunette in his home. you dont count for him and he is nt emotionaly attacjed to you at all so why do you keep listening to his "i love you"???
of course he dont liove you!
he dotn care for you and to lve someone is to care abotu someoen and show care-
you could not come home for a week he wont even notice!
Take his computer and trash it or hidde it together with al porn he has. Put him on low-porn diet. Nothign at all for 3 weeks.
if he go get it else where throw him out.
Tel him :" thats the porn or me"
if he chose porn, show him the door. instantaneously. Dont wait, give him one hour to pack and throw him out.
and if you do tell him that a lack of sex may cause you to leave, be absolutely prepared for him to say "ok fine, go". I'm just saying don't put that out there and then backpaddle.
You could also suggest an open relationship and see what he says. Obviously you still love him quite a bit, which is why you don't want to end it right out. A lack of sex is a big deal though, and it will just fester and get worse.
Is he in good physical shape? Maybe he needs to work on himself too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, BUT... He may not be into you anymore.
Which is fine. Why be with someone that does not want to be with you? You have SOOO much to offer a guy that TRULY wants to be with you.
I say, let him go and start having fun again dating.
If you don't want to leave, then at least find some girlfriends to hang out with and show him you have your own life, and it does not include him anymore. Get all dolled up and go out and have fun. And by all means, do not give him anymore BJs.
Re: How to get the Truth out of Man...
, so why waste your time on the internet watching it, when he has the real deal at home. Men need to appreciate what they have, but most of the time, it is after she leaves him that they do. 
