Should I tell my girlfriend my wife is pregnant? - Page 2

Liza · 02-22-2008, 05:24 AM

Klop, I am not going to be angry with you and curse you, all I am going say, there may be an area in your wive's life that you are not fulfilling, it maybe even sexual, perhaps you are not doing it the way she appreciates. Just suppose she goes behind your back and has an affair to keep her happy and tolerate living with you, since you are a good husband otherwise. How would you feel?

huntersmom_2005 · 02-22-2008, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klop

Thanks Draconis, You always give great advice. I have only been with my wife and my gf in the last 15 years. I always use a condom with the girlfriend. I think it is the only respectful thing to do for my wife. And even if my wife were to discover my relationship, she would not leave me. I am a good husband, I have just be withheld sex for too long. I know an adulterous relationship is devestating to everyone involved, but how can the other women in this forum expect a man to stay and be faithful if she does not provide sex, for any reason over a long period of time? Sexual relations are a natural function of life. If it is no longer availible, yet the man still wants to provide for his wife, how can she complain about what the husband does to satify this natural function of life?

How can one person have such an ego. "Even if my wife were to discover my relationship, she would not leave me. I am a good husband..." How in the h*** can you consider yourself a good husband? That's like saying a lawyer that loses cases is a good lawyer. A good husband would have talked to his wife about his sexual needs and if they still weren't being met, he would have jacked off in the shower or to a porn. Seriously, get over yourself. Perhaps, your wife has needs that you are not fulfilling. Maybe she thinks you suck in bed, and that's why she isn't interested in having sex. Personally, I think that men like you are the scum of the earth, and are why many woman turn gay and/or man haters. I think that you should tell your girlfriend that your wife is pregnant, and you should tell your wife that you have a girlfriend. If you want to do that child any favors at all, you will leave the girlfriend. Would you be proud of a child that was cheating on their spouse? It's not just about your needs anymore; you are going to be a parent and role model. Lord help the child that you are a role model for. Grow some balls and tell both of them about the other. That's what a REAL man would do.

stav · 02-24-2008, 07:50 AM

You are going to have to choose one or the other, and be quick about it.

Then tell them both everything.

If your wife is having a baby, it's time for you to grow up and face your responsibilities, and it's also time you let the poor girl who is your girlfriend free to find a man who can love her, marry her, and take care of her in a loving relationship that she is entitled to be the only one in.

That's if you really want advice about what to do. Personally your posts just sound like boasting to me.

tater03 · 02-24-2008, 10:09 AM

I would agree that you need to tell your wife. Then you need to seriously think about who you want to spend your life with. You need to either let one or both go.

fr33bird81 · 02-24-2008, 02:18 PM

"for better or for worse" isnt that what you promised?? guess only the "better" part counts in this case.

kapjet · 02-24-2008, 03:33 PM

Wow what can one say?? I think you should get rid of the girlfriend and let your wife know what you have been up to. If you dont tell your wife I can be sure the grilfriend will!
Did your wife and you have great sex at all? Maybe try and fiqure out what went wrong and work on fixing it! Get some marriage councelling, if of course your wife wants to keep you! I can tell you If it were me and I knew for sure my husband was having sex with someone else I would kick him hard and far to the curb permanently!

klop · 02-25-2008, 09:46 AM

I am a great husband because I make my wife feel loved. I am a great lover because I make my girlfriend feel loved. The question was NOT "should I tell my wife” The answer to that is NO. My question was "should I tell my girlfriend" Telling my wife might clear my conscience but it would hurt my wife. I have told my girlfriend from the start that I will never leave my wife. We have a happy loving relationship. My only complaint is the lack of really great sex. I find it humorous that women in this forum feel as though they no longer need to satisfy their men after marriage. For better or worse is referencing the challenges in life you face together. It is not a requirement for a man to remain faithful to a woman who does not satisfy sexually just because she doesn't want to. It would be different if there was a physical restriction that prevented sex, which would be a challenge the couple would face together. This is not the situation in my case.
I don't want to string my girlfriend along or mislead her in any way. I love her too much for that. (yes, I love her). So my question of should I tell my girlfriend has pretty much been answered if I filter out all the other BS about telling my wife and coming clean. This is my cross to bear, not hers. I will carry that secret to my grave. I love my wife too much to ever hurt her like that.

Klop

Amplexor · 02-25-2008, 10:54 AM

Just when I thought you couldn’t get more egotistic you rise to the occasion. You have missed most of the wisdom in the so called BS. That if your wife is not providing you with any sexual intimacy you should look at yourself, your relationship and her to find out what is wrong. Work on that because it is “for better or worse” in a marriage. Sex is not “owed” in a relationship it is earned with love, respect and communication. Your opinion of what a good husband is, is seriously flawed. And so are you!

Amplexor · 02-25-2008, 10:58 AM

And just for the record sport, my wife and I are desperately trying to save a 20 year marriage. It’s hard, it’s difficult but we try. She hasn’t had sexual relationships with me for nearly 10 months but I’m not looking elsewhere. Just trying to correct some problems we both have. I love and respect my wife far too much to even consider cheating on her.

stav · 02-25-2008, 03:17 PM

Your ego knows no bounds... I don't know why you are here to be honest, you are not interested in help for your problem, you are just looking for justification to keep cheating on your wife and your marriage vows.

odchoi · 02-26-2008, 07:00 PM

That is the result of infidelity. Standing on crossroads. If you don't want to mess up with your marriage never ever hurt your wife's feelings. If she finds out that you have been doing that through other channels or other person she will be mad too. It's all up to you.

klop · 02-27-2008, 05:24 PM

In Response to STAV, I am on this site because it is a marriage AND relationship forum. Both are very important to me.
In Response to Amplexor, 10 months???? Are you crazy?? Honestly, if she is not sleeping with you, what is the point? You should leave your wife and find someone who will respect and love you. After 10 months of no sex, I think it is beyond repair. At least acknowledge your method of desperately trying to save your marriage is a flawed method. Leave her and she will appreciate you for the provider you are. Right now you are being used and dis-respected. Be a man and regain control of your woman. You will be better off in the long run!

opio · 02-27-2008, 06:30 PM

Man i know a married couple that hasn't shagged for 2 years... and they are still married... wtf? I now i scratch my head all the time as she explains to me about her toys... wth?

You are in a messed up situation... An angry GF is never good, it sounds like you are beginning to underestimate the women in your life. Women are far better cheaters then men, and do you know why? Because they THINK IT OUT... I agree that you are wasting time with both women, your GF can be with someone that is available and your wife can be with someone that truly loves and respects her (not that you don't)... Sex is important... but regardless how you look at it... cheating (physically or emotionally) is not fully respecting your wife...

You have a lot on your plate and a lot to think about... How would you feel if your wife had someone on the side? Your answer to this one will give you an idea of how she may feel... The mirror is always two-sided, you see what you want to see until you decide to look deeper...

Have you ever seen 'Unfaithful'? Watch it... it will make you think twice about your marriage...

good luck i wish you the best...

stav · 02-28-2008, 04:05 AM

My point is that you are cheating both your wife and your girlfriend, so ultimately you are cheating yourself, yet you can't see it? In the end they will both leave you.

Amplexor · 02-28-2008, 07:00 AM

Klop

You are truly one of a kind. Believe me I am more of a man than you will ever be. My wife stuck by me for years even though I wasn’t providing her with the emotional support she wanted and needed. I’ll stick by her for as long as it takes to resolve our current issues. And we stick with each other because we have children to continue to rear together. There is more love, affection and support in our household than there has been in years. You don’t throw a marriage away because one part of it is broken. You obviously think marriage and relationships revolve around sex. Well there is much more to it than that. It’s about commitment, love and respect. All the things we promised each other in front of family, friends and God 21 years ago. Believe me I am a man. Man enough to admit my errors, love my wife no matter the problems, change my ways and honor my commitments. If more spouses would put more effort into these things in America we wouldn’t have a divorce rate over 50%. All in all I’m sure we will get our marriage back on track with time. And if we don’t, at least we both gave it our best shot. I’m sorry that these deeper beliefs are foreign to you. But I am obviously wasting my time and sage on someone like you. Have a nice so called life.