Goodkatt

Klop, can you truly be happy knowing that you are hurting others? Be honest with yourself. Think about what your life will look like in 5, 10, 15 years. Will you have regrets? What will your child be able to say about his/her father? Will you be a good roll model? Live in to the image that you want your child to have of his/her father. Be the kind of father that your child will be proud to call Dad. Do the right thing.

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Goodkatt

draconis

A divorce rate of 50% and 33% of marriages have one or more partner cheating some time during it.

Klop ~ You are right this is a relationship/marriage forum. However you are in a unique situation, which most people disagree with including me. However, I am not to judge you so I gave my advice. Sooner or later your GF will find out and know you lied by not telling her.

draconis

bhappy3

Ok, you asked if you should tell your g/f your wife is pregnant (congratulations btw). I don't think you've divulged enough information as to the relationship with your g/f for us to be able to answer that ?. Do you have an open relationship with her now that she knows everything that is going on in your married life?? Is she attuned to all of your daily activities such as maybe when your car goes to the garage or when you have a dentist appointment or that you went to the movies last night?? If you're open enough to share your daily life with her, then I'd most certainly tell her about your pending parenthood. If you only have a sexual relationship and don't share your daily life, then it sounds like something she doesnt' need to know. When the two of you originally hooked up, I'm sure you talked about the details of your life... yes, I'm married, no, I dont' have any kids, I like my coffee black, etc. So now that that's changing, it might be a good idea to keep her posted. I think she would be more hurt to find out after the fact if something comes up that you cant' be with her b/c of the child, then find out.

You say that your g/f is wanting you more and more. A child is going to need you more than your wife and your g/f combined. Are you prepared to take on three people that need you this much?? I just sense a problem if your g/f is wanting more and more of you. It sounds like eventually this will come to a head. That said, it's just up to you as to when you want it to end. I really dont' forsee this thing going on forever, do you?? Do you think the fact that you're going to be a parent is going to scare her off?? If so, then there's your answer.

Best of luck... it sounds messy.

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stav

It is obvious klop does NOT share everything with his g/f as you are describing bhappy, because if he did, he wouldn't be asking us if he should tell her about his wife's pregnancy. She would know already. So he is lying to everyone involved, including himself.

He has apparently decided not to tell his g/f.. does he think he can keep a child a secret?

Andrea

klop,
you asked us "should I tell my girlfriend my wife is pregnant?" I believe the answer is, Yes you should tell your gf that your wife is pregnant. if you and the gf have been together for as long as you have said, there is probably an emotion attachment there and she maybe hurt if you dont tell her yourself and she finds out later on. she is most likely to tell your wife.

realize klop, you asked that question in a public forum. so you are gonna get feedback that you may not necessarily like. you take the good with the bad.

You owe your wife and that precious baby so much more than you are giving them. Do what is right.

klop

ok, I did not tell my girlfriend yet, but I have broken things off with her completely. I need to focus on strengthing my relationship with my wife. Thank you for all the great advice.

Maxie

What? You think you deserve a medal for that? That is what you are suppose to do.


And what steps did you take to find out why she had become disinterested????????


I'm very happy for you. . . .NOT!!!

Is that all that matters to you????


Well isn't that just great. . .as long as you are taken care of. . . . . .

Well isn't that just great, now you are bringing an innocent child into this mess.

Waaaaa, Waaaaaa, Waaaaaaa, it's still all about you isn't it?? You have a baby on the way, you should be the one that doesn't call her anymore!!!


If life with your wife was so unbearable you should have ended the marriage before you found someone else.

Yes. . .. . DUH!! You should also tell her goodbye.


No.

You will never have a family while cheating on your spouse. If you cheat on your wife you will also be cheating on your child. You affair already takes time, energy and financial resources away from from your wife, it will take those things away from your child also. When the child gets older and asks "daddy where have you been I wanted to play with you", what are you going to say "sorry I had to go screw my mistress"???

nikkilaya1234

Ok, I'm a girl and have been in a situation with a guy who was married. We never slept with each other or any of that but before anything bad could happen, we decided to be friends only. Now he and his wife are planning for the arrival of their baby in a couple of months and we occasionally talk from time to time.

He wasn't thinking of it at the time, but I'm sure now he's thinking of all he could have lost if he were to continue the physical relationship we could have had.

I'm glad it's that way now. They're both happy.

Now, if you tell her about your wife's pregnancy, I'm sure your girlfriend will get a little discouraged but I really don't think she'll back away from you. It's selfish to say but it's true. Especially if she's more into something physical and less emotional. But if her emotions for you are getting stronger to where she may be in love with you, then I'm pretty sure she'll go away.

I know you've heard all the "you're an ass" and crap so I'll leave it out even though it's true.

Have you told each about one another?

oceanbreeze

Hi klop,

It sounds like you know that your mistress is in love with you otherwise you would not be worried that she'll leave your lustrous sexual encounters. However, you are married and will be expecting a child. As a father and husband you will find more joy in being together with your married family rather than your material happiness...i.e. the flesh of your mistress.

update us, I am curious to see the steps you have taken.

bhappy3

klop... I just am so curious as to what changed all of a sudden?? You originally posted the question and people naturally went ape**** over it. Then you got very defensive, naturally as well. Now you're done with the g/f and devoting yourself to your wife. You did a total and complete turnaround. How come?? I've been watching this post since it started and it's just so interesting. =)

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oceanbreeze

i'm with bhappy3. it's so interesting!

stav

I'm impresed Klop. Good luck and I hope all goes well for you, and your wife and your new baby. You've done the right thing. You will see this for yourself years down the line.

True Blue

You are dilusional if you think you can just walk away free and clear. Unfortunately your wife will eventually discover the affair and she will be crushed by your betrayal. What's done in the dark always come to light, ALWAYS. A baby is a blessing and this a time when a couple should be the happiest ever. You have cast a dark cloud on your marriage and I pray that when your wife does find out she's able to pick up the pieces and take care of herself and her child. Your day for atonement will come, get ready.

draconis

Actually very few people that cheat actual get caught at all. Only 2% get caught in the act and 25% give enough clues to be caught. That is statistical fact, like it or not.

Klop, your child is the best thing that will ever happen to you and I hope you take good care of the child and shower him/her with plenty of attention.

Good luck at being a father.

draconis

klop

The thing that changed everything was the Sonogram. This is Amazing! I saw I child alive and well.