Should I tell my girlfriend my wife is pregnant? - Page 4

bhappy3 · 03-12-2008, 05:32 PM

Well thank you for sharing!! Sometimes it just takes something so remarkable to be your wake up call. I'm glad you came around and you'll be glad for it as well. Use it as an opportunity to start the seed of your relationship again. It will make all the difference in the life of your child and your marriage. Perhaps check out the book... The Five Love Languages by Chapman... it might give you some insight as to how to work your wife back into bed with you. Children are so beautiful and so innocent... as you've just witnessed. Congratulations again. =)

draconis · 03-12-2008, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klop

The thing that changed everything was the Sonogram. This is Amazing! I saw I child alive and well.

I wish you the best. If you always try to be the best father you might fail (at being the best but you will never fail at being a good father) but atleast the effort will show and the love will spill forth. There is never to much time to spend with a child the feeling as they grow and learn while you are there helping them.

draconis

stav · 03-13-2008, 04:29 AM

Nothing like the first sight of a precious life that is totally your responsibility, to focus you on the important things is there?

Congratulations, and I wish you and your new family all the joy and luck in the world

kirablue · 03-14-2008, 08:26 AM

Hi Klop,
Wow! Interesting. I am thrilled to hear that you left your girlfriend, and are excited about the miracle of your child. I believe that you were given alot of excellent advice, I want to address only one thing that was brought up. I am prepared to get blasted for this, but this is what I truly believe. I absolutely believe that sex in marriage IS a duty, requirement, part of marriage that BOTH husband and wife are responsible to provide. When any of us get married, we make vows to do certain things for life. To be a little silly about it, we can get our food in a restaurant, or grocery store, at home or a friends house or many many other places, nothing wrong with that as a wife or a husband getting our food at many various places right lol. But sex is completely different, wives, husbands your spouse can ONLY get sex from you. If they get if from anywhere else it is wrong, BUT if they want it we should provide it if it is at all possible for us to do so(of course severe illness or other severe circumstances not included). Now does that mean if our spouse does not provide sex we are allowed to get it elsewhere? NO WAY, it still stands. When any of us are married sex comes from our spouse or not at all. I only believe that each of us should realize (my opinion again) that it is our very important responsibility to our spouse to provide for their sexual needs at all times. klob, I think you should have made it EXTREMELY respectfully clear to your wife how this desire of yours was not being fullfilled, and I think you should have taken all the energy you unfortunately took to your girlfriend on your wife to get your sex life back on track. Since you made very very clear that your straying was due to sexual lack in your marriage now that you have wonderfully decided to recommit to your wife and child, NOW tell her, make it COMPLETELY clear to her, in every way that you possibly can, how much you are wanting sex to be a part of your lives again. Explore every possibility in that area so that you are not left so wanting. Most women I know are open when their husband is open and honest and not HARSH with them. I hope for you both a happy healthy marriage and child.

swedish · 03-14-2008, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klop

how can the other women in this forum expect a man to stay and be faithful if she does not provide sex, for any reason over a long period of time?

how can you expect a woman to 'provide' sex when for most women, sex is an emotional connection to a man based on feeling loved, respected and appreciated? Using a condom whilst having an affair doesn't really cut it as respecting your wife in my book. Talking to her about voids in the relationship that may be making her feel less interested in having sex would be respecting her and her feelings. JMHO.

I'm very glad to hear you broke things off and are focusing on your wife and unborn child. I wish you all the best and hope you are able to find all the happiness you seek within your marriage.

confusedinTX · 05-09-2008, 10:57 PM

If you can't live without sex and you TRY to fix the issue with your spouse and still nothing it is time to make the call....live without the wife or sex. Not get a girlfriend who it doesn't sound like you love whie enjoying someone cooking and cleaning for you. Eat out and get a maid.

More then all that though is you are going to be a father.....the BABY needs to be first. What happens if the baby gets really sick and your wife can't find you because you are off with the girlfriend? Could you forgive yourself if something happened while you were hitting the sheets with another woman? Be a man and get over yourself....there is a little person who needs you to be a good dad whether that is cutting out the cheating or leaving your wife and just beinga good dad. Cheating always comes out and it would be better for your wife to have a chance at a life with a husband who won't cheat on her. The babies happiness is very much tied to the moms so keep that in mind.

trexy66 · 05-10-2008, 09:44 AM

Amp you sound like a great person.I think it is great that you believe in commitment,love and respect.Your wife is very lucky to have you in her life.Good Luck

darkeros · 06-10-2008, 09:59 AM

Have your girl friend move in with you and your wife

That would solve one of your problems. Women should learn to share as well as men should also.

darkeros

pinkprincess · 06-10-2008, 04:42 PM

have u stoped to consider how ur wife is going to feel when she finds out ???
as a wife myself and some one who has been cheated on ( not by my husband) it sux and it hurts more than any man like yourself will ever understand, i think u need to come clean with your wife, you owe her that and she deserves someone who is going to love her u clearly dont, tell your gf she will find out eventually anyway and would be better (if thats possible) from u...

marie38 · 07-02-2008, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Good Husband

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Is this even a question? Please tell me this is a joke of some sort.

Dump your girlfriend. Come clean to your wife. If she wants a divorce, give her one. If she wants to work it out, you are the luckiest man alive - and you are in the doghouse for a long, long time.

That said, there are probably some things that your wife can do to help you rekindle the interest and fidelity, but the onus is on you Klop. You messed this up, you'd better fix it.

Good Husband, thank you for saying that. I appreciate that there are men on this forum that are telling Klop what the deal is. I am a woman whose been cheated on- and I didn't stop having sex with my husband by any means what so ever.... so in my opinion- you (man or woman) are either a cheater, or you're not. That doesn't mean evil- just that you shouldn't be in a committed, monogomous relationship.
Klop, you need to realize that true happiness cannot be attained by hurting others. It will always come back and bite you in the butt.

brenda · Yesterday, 12:15 PM

Klop,
Your going to be a father.The bigger picture here isn't just that you've done one of the worst things in the world to your wife, but that an innocent child is going to be brought into this situation. Children usually end up repeating their parents lives in some way. Every time you look at your baby, I want you to think about how you treat your wife, and how you would like your daughter to expect her husband to treat her/or how your son should treat his wife and raise your grandchildren. Your setting the stage for your children, grandchildren and their children to come. This isn't just your life that your playing with. ALWAYS keep that in mind. Besides, what kind of woman would sleep with another woman's man?? The GF isn't worth a dime! Your wife and children are priceless.