Why do men run when they find out their woman is pregnant??

HYM · 03-17-2008, 09:28 AM

So I got pregnant with a Jehovah Witness... He wasn't fellowshipped when I met him (of course). Well over the past 9 months we dated and then I got pregnant. I seriously thought that he wanted a child so bad he did it on purpose, but then I found out there was no way that was possible.

My 9th week in, he told me that he had a bad addiction to vicoden (spending about $500 - 600 per month), he was going back to be reinstated (leaving me out of the picture except financial support) and that his previous marriage never was divorced... (wtf right?)

Now, he keeps sending me texts saying that he can't be with me, he just needs to get reinstated, but he will help out as much as he can and he will be a great dad (yea right, he can't even make it to doctors appointments!). I never asked for him back btw.

He says that he hasn't been happy in his marriage in a long time. His grounds for divorce is that his wife had his best friends child. They have been separated for 2 years. His family re-assures me that they are not together nor do they sound like they have any intentions of being so.

My question is, is he running from me? is he scared? Will he come back??!! What is going on with him. He goes from being so in love with me and excited about the child to just some sort of zombie that all he can think about is himself and this stupid religion that he has left 3 times!!!

swedish · 03-17-2008, 12:18 PM

It sounds to me like he is 'lost'. Maybe religion is where he feels he needs to turn at this point to sort out what he's feeling. I'm sure the thought of bringing a child into the world is overwhelming if he doesn't even feel he has himself sorted out. Who knows if he will come back...I would plan ahead without him and provide the best environment possible for your child on the way. If at some point, he works through his issues, you can decide then if you would be good together.

Immortalone · 03-17-2008, 03:10 PM

I agree with swedish he sounds like he is totaly lost in life. Also sounds like there can be some family influnce there telling him he needs to go back to the church to find himself. I would move on and make him earn his place back with you with trust and caring if he come back.

draconis · 03-17-2008, 05:36 PM

Well it sound like he isn't divorced and would rather be a part of his church where his family and friends are instead of you.

I wouldn't count on him being a father or going to you.

draconis

helena · 03-18-2008, 06:33 AM

i also agree that this guy is lost at the moment and the best direction that he needs to face right now maybe is the religion,then you(because he got you pregnant) then his life..but don't think that he is afraid of you, its just that he is confused at the moment.

TheHubby · 03-21-2008, 01:32 PM

At this point I would think that your first priority would be the child. With our without him, you will have a child so prepare yourself for that. Ask him if he is planning to be there for his child, if not, child support will make sure he won't forget that the child exists.

If you want him, all you can do is ask him what he plans do do. If he won't be there for you, move on, I am sure there is someone else out there for you.

You aren't the first person this has happened to & you won't be the last.

mollyL · 04-20-2008, 05:30 PM

The right kind of man doesn't run. It's time to forget about him, learn from experience that it's not wise to have sex with some one you know so little about, and decide what you want to do about your child, adopt or raise yourself. But, value yourself and don't throw yourself away on the next loser.