Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In a house, or in a clinic.
Re: wife-stepson relationship is ruining my marriage
How do you handle it when your wife disappears and "mommy" appears in her place?
I hate to break it to you Boss, but as a second husband her children technically outrank you. I am/was a first husband and I saw this very thing encroach into my marriage. I tolerated it and assumed that it would only be "for a season". It wasn't.
I read the term "kidaholic" somewhere, and at the time I chuckled. It's true though. Take the word "wordaholic" and swap kid for work and there you go, everything else is pretty much the same.
You can talk to her about it, but I promise you she'll regard you as selfish for having done so, and look at you hence forth as if you have a third arm growing out of your back.
I think your best "play" would be to simply up your courting, playing, and smoozing factor as her husband. It's the closest thing to actual "gravity" that you can generate in this situation, and I suggest you turn it on ASAP. It just might help to pull her "somewhat" out of an excessive orbit around her kids.
However, please try to respect the fact that her kids are obviously very important to your wife. Hell, once and awhile even encourage it. "It's crazy enough that it just might work" spanner, and a little grace goes a long way.