Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!
Hey girl; I hear your pain because I've been in the same spot for over 16 years and I'm THROUGH. My husband does the same thing with making awful financial decisions.
Whenever I 'let' him make some of the decisions for us (because I was always taught that the man in the family has the ultimate power), he makes the most TERRIBLE choices and then it ends up costing us a TON of $$$$. I could name multiple times over the years that it's cost us thousands and thousands of dollars because I've let him take the lead . . . we're now at the point where we have NO money in the bank, almost NO money coming in because he's too STUPID to get a steady job, and whenever I say to him "we need $700 to pay the mortgage" or whatever, he just shrugs his shoulders and says "I'm trying". He's been basically UNEMPLOYED or underemployed (and therefore, underpaid) for our entire marriage. He tried starting his own business but that was a total loss all the way around, not to mention so many thousands of dollars gone. We moved cross country because some guy told him that if he showed up there he 'might' be able to find him some work - yeah, right. THAT never happened but still cost us over $5,000, and hubby blamed it on ME! It wasn't MY decision to move cross country! Selective memory as well, that is, IF he can remember anything at all - plus he is super high maintenance and has ADHD and dyslexia. All this time, I've had to work EXTRA HOURS at the job I dislike, just to be able to keep both of us in a home and paying the bills.
So why haven't I left before this? The dummy ADORES me and relies on me for everything. Nobody in this world has shown me love or attention of any kind before, not even my ex husband who was an abusive nightmare. I grew up with no self esteem or kindness. So even tho my husband is basically BRAIN DEAD most of the time, he is the only one in my life who has shown me any kind of love; that in itself is something I cherished (in the beginning). As years have gone by, however, his faults and deficiencies in EVERY OTHER ASPECT of our lives are deplorable, and I'm totally exhausted from doing everything for both of us.
At this point, even tho he loves & depends on me for everything and we rarely argue, I simply do not have the strength or the inclination to continue in this marriage when it would mean certain death on my part. Every day I pray to be free of him and I know that is a terrible thing to want.