It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!
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Old 01-21-2010, 04:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

I love my husband very dearly. He's my best friend and I can't imagine life without him. I want to grow old with him.

But sometimes he makes me want to pull my hair out! He does things that are really really stupid and it is very difficult for me to show him respect during those times.

He has made so many mistakes in the past and I know we all make mistakes, but over time I wish he'd learn from them and not make them anymore. He still hasn't learned his lesson and keeps finding himself in the same situations.

I used to fuss and argue with him when he made mistakes because they affect me too. Now, I just don't say anything. I'm tired and I'm losing the fight I once had. It doesn't change anything anyway.

I know he needs my respect MOST during the hard times, but that is when I find it most difficult to give it to him. Why does it seem as if men are weakened by struggles, but women find our strength when times are hardest?

I'm sorry I'm ranting. I'm really just looking for some tips on what to say when I don't particuarly feel respect for my husband. I still want to show him respect during those times. How do I do it?
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

Gently put your hands around his neck. Shake him a little bit, and say; "I love you so much when you make good decisions."

Squeeze his adams apple a little bit if you want to ...
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

LOL Deejo.... good suggestion.

I once heard that respect is a choice, it doesn't necessarily come from someone doing respectful things. I still can't really wrap my head around that, but it get what the point is.

Respecting your husband is not about agreeing with his choices. It's not about overlooking stupid mistakes. It's about an attitude in your heart that says you believe in him, that says you know he will fall, but you also know he'll pick himself up again. We ALL do stupid things...

Or you could just try the strangling thing
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Last edited by Alexandra; 01-23-2010 at 12:47 PM.
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Old 01-22-2010, 09:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

Thanks.

I agree with both of you. Actually Alexandria, I believe everything in life is a choice.

Yesterday was a hard day. He admitted to me that he feels like he is going to lose me to another man one day. I gave him reassurance that I had no intentions of leaving him even when he made mistakes. I love him.

But I do struggle with having a positive attitude during the times when I just feel like he should know better by now. I'm a work in progress. I guess he is too.
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Old 01-24-2010, 11:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

themrs, do you make mistakes? if yes, does he over look them or obsess about them? are these mistakes he is making really big, or just messing up projects around the house type stuff?

i have struggled with this with my wife. guess what she isnt perfect nor am i. that realization helped me cope better.
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

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Originally Posted by okeydokie View Post
themrs, do you make mistakes? if yes, does he over look them or obsess about them? are these mistakes he is making really big, or just messing up projects around the house type stuff?

i have struggled with this with my wife. guess what she isnt perfect nor am i. that realization helped me cope better.
I realize I'm not perfect either. I do make mistakes every day of my life.

I don't expect my husband to be perfect and he does get better as he gets older. But the mistakes I'm talking about aren't getting paint on the carpet or mixing colors and whites doing laundry.

I'm talking about big finanacial mistakes that affect me and the children and mess up our plans for the future. Like he'll get a ticket and won't pay for it until he gets a warrent out for his arrest. Then he'll get arrested and has to pay hundreds of dollars to fix something that could have easily been avoided.

It's happened more than once and I shouldn't have to deal with it at all.
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Old 01-25-2010, 11:12 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

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Originally Posted by themrs View Post
I realize I'm not perfect either. I do make mistakes every day of my life.

I don't expect my husband to be perfect and he does get better as he gets older. But the mistakes I'm talking about aren't getting paint on the carpet or mixing colors and whites doing laundry.

I'm talking about big finanacial mistakes that affect me and the children and mess up our plans for the future. Like he'll get a ticket and won't pay for it until he gets a warrent out for his arrest. Then he'll get arrested and has to pay hundreds of dollars to fix something that could have easily been avoided.

It's happened more than once and I shouldn't have to deal with it at all.
yeah, ok, that is a dumb mistake. that sounds like someone who just doesnt have their act together. i would be curious to know if you have seen that worsen over the years or was he always like that and just never improved. Attention deficit disorder?
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Old 01-25-2010, 11:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's so hard to respect my husband when he does stupid stuff!

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Originally Posted by okeydokie View Post
yeah, ok, that is a dumb mistake. that sounds like someone who just doesnt have their act together. i would be curious to know if you have seen that worsen over the years or was he always like that and just never improved. Attention deficit disorder?
I have asked him if he thinks he has ADD. He just ignores me.

In general, he gets better. I mean, he used to do things like this ALL THE TIME. Lately, it has been a year but he recently did it again. It drives me absolutely insane.

Other than this, he's a great guy and of course I love him with all my heart or I wouldn't be putting up with this mess!
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