Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: What goes on during a "boys night out"?
You would be better off working on your self-esteem issues than worrying about what your bf is up to--'cause once you get some self-esteem, this issue will probably not bother you at all. Why are you even considering putting up with a double standard, he can go out but you can't? Your past is in the past, and you understand why you did what you did, and you know you don't want to repeat that behavior. Tell him that, start making some friends (yes, a hobby or some other activity is a great way to meet people), and start going out without him. It does not have to be clubbing or bars--honestly, people DO go out for coffee, or dinner, or dessert, or to shop, or about a million other things. Get out, enjoy yourself, and you will be a better partner. In fact, if you get to feeling good about yourself, his insecurities may start to bother you and you might find yourself recommending that he work on his self esteem.
Attractiveness is not about good looks. Yes, good looking people tend to be attractive, too--but a LOT of attractive people aren't actually good looking. Attractiveness is about the way you carry yourself and express yourself, and if you are happy with yourself, it shows and draws others to you--ie, attracts them. Attitude is 'way more effective than make-up, too (although a lot of women don't realize this). I worked really hard on improving my self-esteem in my 20s, and it has been so, so worth it. I quit wearing even the tiny bit of make-up I occasionally wore, and learned to love my looks just as they are. If you saw pics of me, you'd know I'm average looking at best, by "model" standards (high cheek bones, wide eyes, etc; I don't have any of that stuff) And yet I can't tell you how many guys have told me "yeah, but you are 'naturally beautiful' and you don't 'need' make up." Uh, no, NOT naturally beautiful. Totally ignored by guys in high school. Nothing changed in the next few years--except my attitude and self-esteem. If I could do it, so can you. Good luck.