Hi guys! I am a wife who wants to feel emotionally secure in her marriage. One way for me to feel that way is for me to have a good full access to my husband's email, facebook, and phone records. I feel that if someone is not hiding anything, there is no point they hold onto their passwords, right? My husband does not want to give me the new passwords he set up for his accounts. I told him that I will give him equal access to all my emails, facebook, etc. Am I asking too much? Isn't it a wife's right to know what her husband is doing online. Also, it is a husband's right to know what his wife is doing online, right?
If you have reason to suspect that your husband is betraying you, it makes sense. His refusal of course only tends to further the view that he has something to hide.
However ...
If he is doing nothing wrong, and simply believes that your request is being made as a result of your own insecurity or a desire to control or moderate him, then he isn't going to want to give them up. And in my opinion, he shouldn't have to. If my partner wanted my passwords for no other reason than to keep tabs on me, I would have a problem with that.
If you have reason to suspect that your husband is betraying you, it makes sense. His refusal of course only tends to further the view that he has something to hide.
However ...
If he is doing nothing wrong, and simply believes that your request is being made as a result of your own insecurity or a desire to control or moderate him, then he isn't going to want to give them up. And in my opinion, he shouldn't have to. If my partner wanted my passwords for no other reason than to keep tabs on me, I would have a problem with that.
So which is it?
Both. Yes to the first one, I believe, there is something going on somewhere. Secondly, I also want to keep tabs on him.
My past experience tells me he has something to hide ! If he was happy for you to have passcodes before what's changed? I'd add a keylogger he doesn't have to know you have used one and your find out if he has anything to hide . Why should a husband and wife have passcodes to there emails unless something was being hidden ! Posted via Mobile Device
There really should not be secrets in a marriage. If it starts out that way--sharing everything (like FB accounts, etc)--then a change in behavior is indicative of a problem. If a spouse has something s/he cannot share with their partner, there is already a problem. Note I said, "cannot share" as in, needing to hide it. Choosing not to share--ideas the partner might not understand (work related, for example), stuff about hobbies the partner does not care to hear about (which shouldn't be much, anyway), etc., is different. The moment one spouse is having a thought they feel they "can't" share b/c it would hurt the partner, that is the sign TO share it, as painful as it might be. "I find myself attracted to . . ." needs to be shared, not hidden, not discussed with anyone else. "I'm feeling bored in our marriage" needs to be shared with the partner, not kept a secret.
In your case, the very fact that you feel something is going on is worth investigating--WITH him. Tell him flat out, "I'm feeling insecure in our marriage, and I want us to work on this." Do not blame him or his behavior--we all have bouts of insecurity in our lives and sometimes the other person's behavior becomes a proxy for our anxiety, when our anxiety may be stemming from something we don't even realize. Seek counseling now. Let him know you feel insecure and it isn't optional. See where that goes. Good luck!
If you think he is cheating, and you want to find out for sure, then asking him in passwords, etc, will just drawn an affair deeper underground. He'll just move to a secret gmail account, or use a prepaid phone.
If you DO think he's cheating, then back off and install a key logger. You'll find out what you need to know.
Hi guys! I am a wife who wants to feel emotionally secure in her marriage. One way for me to feel that way is for me to have a good full access to my husband's email, facebook, and phone records. I feel that if someone is not hiding anything, there is no point they hold onto their passwords, right? My husband does not want to give me the new passwords he set up for his accounts. I told him that I will give him equal access to all my emails, facebook, etc. Am I asking too much? Isn't it a wife's right to know what her husband is doing online. Also, it is a husband's right to know what his wife is doing online, right?
Any point of view on this?
You do have the right to know what your husband is doing online. My boyfriend hid everything he did online from me and I found out later he was cybercheating... whats your reason for wanting to know his password?
I dont agree with keyloggers unless you really think theres somehting going on. The damage it can do to a relationship if he/she finds out and shes totally not guilty....
I used to know all my wifes passwrods etc but I got stupidly paranoid about things. If I saw something strange on her fb account I'd jump to thje wrong conclusions. In the end, we both decided it'd be best for me not to know - to take temptation out of the way so to speak.
Mine opinion is based on the fact that my H had an affair. Since he did, we both have full access to each others cells, emails, facebooks, etc. I figured if he is giving me access to his, then he should be able to see mine also.
So...just my opinion. If he were cheating, he'd want to prove he isn't. Because he'd get you off your back, so he'd give you all passwords and switch to a mail acct you don't know about.
It highly depends on how you put it. If you just clearly stated you want all passwords (read ='i don't trust you at all') than it's clear that he'll be annoyed and not want to give them. People need and deserve privacy, even in a couple.
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- When people are laughing, they're generally not killing one another. -
If he has given you reason to think that something is going on then I think it justifies spying a bit to get to the bottom of things. The easiest way to just get his passwords is to use a hardware keylogger that you just plug into the keyboard port, but you can also consider more comprehensive monitoring software like Webwatcher.
Wife wants to have/know his passwords 
