I actually think it sounds like a pretty dysfunctional relationship, but only b/c I cannot imagine why she wants the test or what more she needs to know. But I'm not in her shoes. If I were, they'd be Nikes and I'd be flyin' out the door and down the road, never looking back. He cheats and lies--what more would I need to know?
Hi I'm Amanda from the post " Bi-sexual husband a man's opinion please". I am dealing with a husband that could potentially be bi-sexual or in the closet even though he is saying no way. I have recently considered a lie detector test as well . Where can you get one? How do you go about it? How much do they cost? I know this sounds disfunctional but could cost me a whole lot of grief in the long run,and I could have some peace of mind.
I just realized I asked a liar where to get a lie detector test...how funny is that??
regarding your lies and your request for advise to get out of your lies....I think you SUCK at marriage and need to take a hard look at your self and ask why and how you can be so deceitful. Tell her the truth she already doesn't believe you.
I am dealing with a husband that could potentially be bi-sexual or in the closet even though he is saying no way. I have recently considered a lie detector test as well.
Even if lie detectors worked, which most studies agree that they don't, they still wouldn't be "truth detectors". A person can honestly believe something that's not true.
And what will you do with the results? If it says he's not bi or gay, will that make your problems go away? if it says he is, will that settle your mind on what to do next?
There is no quick fix, no magic wand, no vial of Veritaserum, no Oracle at Delphi. If a relationship is seriously broken, everybody involved has to do serious work to fix it. And you can only do your share: if another person decides that the work is too hard, there's no way you can make up for their absence.
Artieb...this liars wife is in pain and her peace of mind has been robbed from her. It is effecting her body, mind and spirit. Any answers to set her free right now will release her from her torment. Yes in my case if a lie detector test revealed my husband not bi or gay would give me great relief and if it said he is that would certainly help me move on...it is a tool not a quick fix
ps. he agreed to one immediately when I asked him last night
Any answers to set her free right now will release her from her torment.
ANY answers? Then why not just flip a coin? Heads, he's lying. Tails, he's telling the truth.
A polygraph test is only 50% accurate, which is the same reliability as flipping a coin. Why use the polygraph instead of
the coin?
Quote:
Yes in my case if a lie detector test revealed my husband not bi or gay would give me great relief and if it said he is that would certainly help me move on.
The thing you have to understand is that a polygraph machine is no better than if you flipped a coin. Would it be a great relief if you flipped the coin and it came up tails? Why or why not?
aaaahhhhhh funny you should say flip a coin...I do that because he has driven me to the obsession for an answer...I am truly thinking this is making me mentally ill sometimes. I do believe the lie detector test is more accurate than 50/50...I was thinking about trying it on myself first isn't that crazy?...anyway will hold off on testing my husband I just don't want to spend $150/hr on therapy and I think I need it at this point I am too obsessed even on this website too much!
Because, as has been discussed, the main benefit of using a polygraph is that most people, when confronted with having to take one, have such a fear of authority, being outed, and censure, that they step up and admit to most of their transgressions before they even get to the test.
It brings the liar back down to the level of the honorable person so they can operate on an even keel. It takes away the liar's safety platform so that they stop thinking they are invincible.
Because, as has been discussed, the main benefit of using a polygraph is that most people, when confronted with having to take one, have such a fear of authority, being outed, and censure, that they step up and admit to most of their transgressions before they even get to the test.
So you approve of using unreliable equipment because many people incorrectly believe that the machines work?
Isn't it dishonest to take advantage of someone else's mistaken beliefs for your own benefit?
It takes a sociopath with no empathy for others or a trained lie detector avoider, like a CIA person to avoid revealing their deception in a lie detector session.
Your garden variety cheater will be exposed.
Worth calling a potential cheater's bluff by insisting they take the test. If the person is not a cheater and there is reasonable suspicion, they would willingly take the test to show their loyalty to their vows and their spouse.
Being annoyed? Sure, if not guilty. If guilty? Too bad, yo've earned lumps.
I do believe the lie detector test is more accurate than 50/50.
No properly-conducted scientific study has ever come up with results better than 60%, and that only happened once (so it may have just been a fluke). Most scientific studies have concluded that the machines are accurate at only 50%.
Two separate governmental advisory boards have investigated polygraph machines and concluded that they are not reliable enough to be trusted. There are dead US agents who would be alive if the CIA hadn't trusted polygraph machines. The terrorist who mailed anthrax to people in 2001 passed two polygraph tests.
To the best of my knowledge, and I have looked, there is no scientifically-valid evidence that polygraph machines work much better than random chance. None. So why would you believe in them?
In a post about astrology and tarot cards, I said that it's not enough to be honest and say what you really believe: you also have to test what you believe to see if it's really true. Polygraph machines have failed every time they've been put to a scientifically-rigorous test.
I'm sorry for your pain. I truly am. Some days I read the posts on this site and I feel totally powerless. I was supposed to get wise when I got old, but people here ask questions I have no answers for at all.
And I really wish there was some way you could get the truth once and for all and be settled in your mind. But as of right now, there just isn't a technological solution for you, any more than there's a car that gets 500mpg. Maybe one day, but not yet.
It takes a sociopath with no empathy for others or a trained lie detector avoider, like a CIA person to avoid revealing their deception in a lie detector session.
artie, I understand you have a personal stake in getting people to not use them because of your experience, but the majority of people - and the majority of the websites I found the other night, when I looked to make sure I wasn't off target - agree that it does work on most people and is effective enough to provide valid information.
You've made your case, as has everyone else. Now it's up to the readers here to make up their own minds on if they should use them.
flyersfan, if you love your wife you need to come clean and tell the truth. Don't make her resort to a lie detector. Anything short of that is BS and you are a lying piece of dung and are living your life that way. You are worried about hurting her? If she is wanting a lie detector then she is ALREADY hurting. I dsagree with some of the other posters. If you tell the truth you deserve and should endure everything she throws at you every day.
Re: Threatened with a Lie Detector Test 
