Originally Posted by cheatinghubby
... CHEATERS WILL LIE TO THE DEATH THAT NOTHING HAPPENED UNLESS CAUGHT RED HANDED. I lied right to the end that there was no PA until the wife and OW met to trade notes...
As you know my ozark cousin (giggle), I specialize in this area and have a LOT of experience--a little is personal but decades of working with people. I can testify that I got the bill for Mr. and Mrs. Ex-Affaircare the weekend my exH took his Whistress to a certain VERY fancy hotel that we had never been to. We worked at that hotel on some computer security stuff, and I was able to get security tape of him and her ENTERING the hotel together that night and leaving together in the morning. Know what his response was to that?
"How did you do that?"
Me (puzzled): "Do what?"
Him: "Doctor the tape to make it look like I was there."
No kidding!! RED HANDED and he still tried to squirm out with a lie!! (I can laugh about it now.)
I've also known (and worked with) many, many people literally have caught their spouse red-handed--and yes I mean WALK IN ON THEM DURING THE ACT. Do they admit it? NO!
To the last one they all say, "It's not what it looks like" as they put on their clothing!
So just so you know I agree cheatinghubby here. You are not going to "get the truth" from your wife, and really the delusional one is you for expecting someone who's actively unfaithful to tell the truth. It just is NOT going to happen! That's very disappointing but it's okay. You can proceed under the assumption she will not speak the truth and do everything she can to distract you and throw up smoke and mirrors.
Regarding the thong: not a smoking gun but again, pretty incriminating. It is EXTREMELY rare to come home during the day to change, and if it were due to that issue there would be evidence such as what you looked for. Also from a female point of view, thong during the monthly cycle = NO! I don't like them that much normally but during that time of the month...NEVAH!
Finally, I like where you're going with verifying with the waitress. That is just plain checking up on the facts--it will either confirm or refute what time she left and with whom. The waitress may not remember her--but then again if so it may be helpful. The thing is that looking for something concrete EITHER WAY is good, and at this point I think your concerns are legitimate. If it had been a while and her behavior was matching what she said, if she wasn't hiding things and wanting time to sneak off by herself...I would say maybe you are paranoid. But her behavior is NOT appropriate and it does not look good (even if it is). She can choose to be open and honest and that is not what she's choosing.
Sooooo..stay the course. Keep looking for some evidence (you're not nuts). And when you find it, print it, copy it, and put it somewhere not in the house. You stay in the home and the kids stay in the home in their own beds. If she wants to have an affair and carry on, SHE can move out and live with loverboy.