Wow. You'd rather spend the rest of your life with a person who doesn't care if you're even there? Why?
Because I made a vow for better or worse, because I do love her, because my children mean more to me than my own personal happiness. I will never willingly put them through divorce.
Like I said, our household is not destructive. I will continue to work at whatever I can to make a difference.
She says she does care by the way and that she loves me and that she wants to grow old with me, but she just does not have much of a sex drive for anyone. Highly doubt that btw, bu I can see where reading this would make it seem like she is a horrible person that does nothing at all. That simply isnt true, every story has two sides. I am just presenting my side of what I find to be a very frustrating situation.
The bottom line is that I want to be wanted. I am married and I am faithful. I have been with one person in my entire life. If that one person, does not find me desirable, how am I ever suppose to fill that particular void? Seriously some examples please.
By reading some of the responses here you would think that it is no big deal. That I am a just suppose to think I am awesome and then I will be awesome. When I submit to you that everyone wants to feel desired by their significant other.
Sometimes the answer is just that it cannot be fixed so I just need to deal with it. That is what I will do.
The whole beta male thing - That would be a waste of time arguing. Granted my relationship with her is messed up but despite what you may think I am happy in every part of my life outside of my relationship with my wife. I am a leader, never have been a follower. Apples and Oranges they are not tied together.
Oh and yes, of course my weight was a turn off to her, she told me that, but losing it has not restored the desire. The only emotional ditch I am in is wanting emotional and physical support from my wife. I do not mope around, I am not that kind of person. I am an optimist by nature, I am a great father, friend and husband. I cant help that my wife doesnt appreciate it. That is her problem.
How do most men feel when they find out their wives have been unfaithful? Do they not feel like victims? I only feel like a victim because I cant leave. If this had happened 7 years ago before we had our kids, it wouldnt even be an issue, I am sure I would be well into my second marriage by now.